Who Was a Nervous Wreck Introducing Their New Kitty? ~LONG~

I am!!! I have had my two kitties sequestered for almost 10 days. One kitty had a little "bug" but is over it and 100% healthy. The other new kitty is getting a little rambunctious, even though we let him out (when the resident is in her own space) to roam around a bit each day.

We did everything by the book -- got two blankets with each cat's respective scent on it. Switched them up. Got resident kitty to sniff the blanket and she was real curious...no hissing or growling or anger. She was genuinely curious, right?

They have even taken to playing "paws" under the door! We put a shoelace under the door for them to play and they coo to each other, paw at each other, even sort of look at each other (obstructedly of course) under the door crack. We even give them treats that are real stinky so they hear and smell each other eating the yummy stuff. BOTH LOVE TREATS LOL. Again, no hissing, growling or meanness. It seems like a genuine curiosity.

NOW here's the kicker. Cassie (resident cat) is pretty laid back, she lays around a lot, is sort of a drama princess, needs to be on her "perch" relaxing (because she doesn't relax enough, right? ). Napoleon is a bit of a spaz, but in a very cute way. Anyway, he's tried his darndest to get out of the room when we go through the doors.

Now when or if she happens to catch of glimpse of him...OK that's when she gets p'd off! She starts meowing to me and will attack my hand. Nothing too major, but I know she's a little agitated. I don't know if she realizes this is the guy she's been smelling, sniffing, cooing at, playing with...

A few weeks ago, when we initially tried to gradually intro them, he got out, surprised her and she FLIPPED out on my boyfriend, who she got so aggressive with, it had him running to the shelter and talking to all kinds of animal behaviorists.

We have both of them again, trying to do everything by the book, but I know it's going to be her with the issues.

We plan on feeding them on opposite sides of the door, on their respective blankets with the intermixed scents, to get them to come together in a positive manner.

Although I just feel it will be a disaster when they do meet face to face.

*SIGH*

Now to give a little background, having a temporary screen door in place is not an option. I live in an city apartment dwelling, and there's no way I can do this (unless someone knows of an option I can use). Plus, he's a jumper, we had two baby gates stacked on top of one another and he managed to jump over both!!!

So as you can tell, I am a nervous wreck. I just need some advice to calm down my jittery nerves. Has anyone had an initially resistant cat who eventually came around?

My vet also recommended anti-anxiety meds. What was your experience in using this?

Thanks so much for listening, I wasn't expecting this to be that long, but it is!!!

I moved in with a roommate once who had a tiny female cat. I had one male one female. My male cat and her cat got along after a while and were playing together. That's because Shankey wasn't agressive and is really friendly. He'd get along with anybody. But Pandah, my female cat and her Stella didn't get along ever. Took us 3 months to finally give up. Pandah would just trip her out. She'd creep up on her and attack her. Of course Stella would never trust that tricksy cat of mine. So I finally had to move out. Sorry, some cat's just won't like each other.

Hi Chichi - thanks for your insight. I know, it sucks when our furbabies won't get along because we want them to. I know someone who had to give her new and old one anti-anxiety meds so they would chill. It was only for a month or so. But still, to think about the lengths we have to go to make them comfortable for us! (and for them!)

I don't think they'd necessarily attack each other. When they are chilling, they just sort of lay around. I know he's got his spots, she has hers, this may be a mutual stay-away from. I am just nervous because I hate to think of them getting stressed over this. Believe me, there has been more than enough to go around with these two!!!

I was a nervous wreck because Buffy was just a wee little thing and Willow was well-known for having a nasty temper. When I introduced them, I had Willow on a harness (to yank her back if she decided to attack Buffy). As it was, Willow was afraid of Buffy, and Buffy was afraid of Willow. They went under the living room table and sniffed each other's noses, and they did the slight jerk thing that cats do when they touch noses. That made me jerk the leash just a teeny little bit, but that set Willow off so she flew straight up into the air (crashing into the underside of the table). She fell over backwards, slipped out of the harness, and took off running. Buffy had taken off running in the opposite direction the second Willow jumped straight up, so I was standing there, holding a leash and empty harness, heart pounding a mile a minute, not sure what had just happened.

But luckily the cats turned out to love each other, lol