Who Understands Men?

sunlion

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.Note: This was sent to me by a friend who is single-never-married and over 35. I sympathize, but I'm an old married woman so I can afford to.


Who Understands Men?

1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW . . . WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
 

donna

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I have given up trying to understand men.
 

kittyfoot

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Men are NOT hard to understand...it's all laid out here in the guidebook in black and white.


Oh!!!!
I Forgot!!!
You wimmin folks aren't permitted to see it.
:LOL:

I Know Something You Don't Know!!!!!
:LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 

catarina77777

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Hey...gimmee that book!!! Hand it over you! Okay girls...on 3 "rush" him!

Okay, you're now our prisoner...spill the beans Wayne! :LOL::LOL:

 

cleo

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Someone sent me this many moons ago, and I "lost" it...thanks for posting it again!

I have a wonderful man now, but trust me, it took a lot of frog
kissing before I found my prince!
(and honestly, I saw most of the above...ask and I'll tell!)
 

cleo

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Bod...I just sent you an e-mail complete with
pic to show you just one example of my "warty" history! :laughing2

Thank God for that wart medicine (forget the name)...took almost all the scars away!
 

bodlover

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Ah yessss, I got it!! I sent ya one back!! I didn't get to see the warty pic though....
still whats new?!! We have alot of trouble with "pictures" don't we girl!!!???!!! ha ah ha ha ha
 

cleo

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We sure do I think its cuz we're in such a rush to get them to each other, we forget the details....I got it this time though!
 

kittyfoot

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Wouldn't do you any good to grab the book..it's written in MAN TALK and you would need our secret decoder ring(AKA Halo:goodbad: ) Sorry girls...TOOOO BAD!!!
:LOL: :LOL:
 

bodlover

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Hey but KF... I can talk Man language!! I've been listening to hubby with his brothers/dad/uncles...and here is what I learnt.... tell me if you can understand ok? Ready?

Uga ugga ugga beer ugga grunt ugga cars ugga ugga!!! UGGA UGGA IM RIGHT UGGA! grunt snort ugga
Is that right?!!!!
:laughing:
 

catarina77777

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HAHAHA...Rhea, he's throwing you off, I'm the only girl out of 3 brother 15 male cousins and 5 Uncles on my dads side...don't let him throw ya off! Rrrrrrr..ungawa, ungawa, Suewwwweeeeeeee, sueweeeeeeeee!!! uguga buuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp...slurp, slurp...urrrrp....mmmmmmmmmmm


 

bodlover

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Aha!!! Now I see!! I was right all along! Trust you KF to try and throw me off the scent!! Well you've failed!! And Cat I totally agree that the 17 ammendment needs to be updated!! Ugga ug grumble ugga groan ugga food ugga belch ugga ug ugga barf UG paaaaarp!!
Don't you agree Cat?!
 

catarina77777

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Bluuuuuurrrrrbhhhhhhh Phhhhhhtttt, snort, snort...blubblblah, blecch, crooooooooomph! NIRPLE..snicber corpfempfpimples....snausages snausages.......??? burrrrrrp 'eh.


 

kittyfoot

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According to THE BOOK


1---Cat's uncle has porkrinds in his carburetor..and likes it.

2----Bod ate a deep-dish umberella but used too much Worstreshire sauce.

3----Cat dyed her cat blue and pink and shoved 2 sausages up it's...OH MY!!!!!


I think you have the WRONG guidebook.
 

donna

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"Women need a reason for sex. Men just need a place."

Billy Crystal
 
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