Help... I think he is dying.. please..

Yesterday was the shelter's open day, and I started work at 5am, and came home at 7:30pm. During the day the kittens were on display in a room, with people looking through the window at them, and the door was locked and I had 101 jobs to do and was only permitted to get the key and tend to them 3 times during the day. It had to be in and out, just prepare the fod and water bottle, enter the room, put down the food and pad in the water bottle and then leave.
I noticed the smallest, Smudge, wasn't coming out for food so I lifted him out and he started nibbling.

When I eventually came home, I took them out and smudge was crawling in the box, crawling..
I lifted him out and he was all floppy, and placed him on the floor and he couldn't stand or walk.
I wrapped him up in warm things and cuddled him and tried to syringe feed him oral rehydration solution, but he couldn't suckle and wanst swallowing, it was just dribbling out of his mouth no matter how little I gave him.
I was scared to actually 'squirt' it in because I was sure his lungs would flood.

He got a few drops down him anyways.. but not enough.. after about an hour he came to a bit and lifted his head and nibbled some food.
I brought him up to bed with me because I was exhausted, and I was scared to leave with with his 3 brothers in case they suffocated him.
I cuddled him till about 2am, then he started eating a bit more food, and I made up a small box padded with blankets with 3 heat sources and left a fresh bowl of food-junior whiskas mashed with KMR- and heard him nibbling it for short periods throughout the night.. I didnt dare sleep in case I missed anything.
He has a full belly right now (12am) but is painfully thin, he has been eating for the past weeks but has had diarrhoea, the vets didn't have the meds needed so he didn't get treated properly, and I think the diarrhoea is causing the weight loss.

He has always been the weakest but I'v never been so scared for him..
He is 'leaking' diarrhoea, and has a perpetually dirty bum, I gently clean it every few hours but he cries when I do, it looks so painful.
The base of the inside of his tail has no fur from being caked in faeces so often.

Right now he is sitting in his box tucked up and warm and watching me where I go, and leaning his head out and purring when I tickle him, and he can walk, not brilliantly but he can walk.

He is about 7 weeks old now, lisa had me convinced they were 5 weeks old, and I'v been so out of it I thought so too, but last night I worked out its more closer to 7 weeks.

I'm close to breaking point now, last week Kovu was almost dead, he got chilled but has recovered instantly and the 3 brothers are very healthy, fat and playful, Smudge doesn't resemble them in size..

I feel like i'm letting him down, he doesn't deserve any of this, he is such an angel.. the vet can only see me at 3:30pm, she said she will most likely admit him, and I expressed my concern he may not make it till then, but she is fully booked and if I drop him down now, he will be put straight into a cage, because she will be busy with her clients, and I would rather nurse him myself till then, and then for his appointment I can explain to the vet anything she needs to know.. have I made the right choice?

is there anything I can do.. I can't bear the thought of losing him..

similar situations have happened to me, the more severe of the two the kitten ended up not making it.

Try, however adding a little sugar to the mix of water, as this has always seemed to perk our kittens up a bit. It has never hurt, so the most it can do is help, right? For 1/3 gallon of water we put in about teaspoon and a quarter of sugar and just let it sit (we have one of the waterers and we just put the sugar in the tray) That's how we've always done, and it generally works. Don't give up on him yet, some kittens are soldiers!

I don't know how to help, but from what I have read you seem to be doing a great job with little Smudge (and all the other cats you look after etc). I am sending him get well vibes and hugs for you too

Please let us know how you get on at the vets

Do you have the option of hospitalizing him for IV fluids? If not, giving him fluids through a needle at home is another option.

Is he on any medication at all? Sometimes penicillin (amoxicillin) or penicillin/clavulanic acid (Clavamox in the US) is enough to do the trick. Other good drugs are metronidazole and sucralfate, but I don't know if they'd go by the same names in Ireland. Kaolin/pectin is sometimes helpful, too, though I admit I've never had luck with it.

You can try feeding him plain chicken baby food mixed with baby rice cereal. Sometimes rice cereal can help slow down the bowels.

If he's still eating then he has a chance, but you need to find a vet who can prescribe medicine that can stop the diarrhea.

Vet has admitted him for 48 hours, she examined him and can't see why he isn't putting on weight, is heart is fine and she said something about checking his liver.
His tummy was full while she was examining him and she said that amount should be giving him weight, yet he doesn't put any on.

She is going to try foster him with Fleur and her kittens, because she suspects the kitten milk hasn't agreed with him from day 1.

I can't stop thinking about him..

Vet just called.. at 9pm last night he had a seizure.. she said usually at that point she would have let him go.. but because I'v put so much effort into him she revived him.. she thinks there is an underlying problem but can't track it down.. she is ringing me in an hour but said she doesn't think there's much hope for him.. I'm going to ask to bring him home.. I just need to feel like I gave him every chance.. I don't want to fail him

im so sorry to hear about your little one all my prayers r with him i really hope he pulls through

keep us updated

He is fading. She called again and we talked for ages.. well.. she talked.. I was trying to hold back tears...
She was very hesitant and paused a lot.. she sounded very sad.. I was waiting to be asked to put him to sleep.. but she said they are still fighting for him.. but he is just so weak..
He is going up and down, sometimes nibbling food, sometimes needing to be syringed..
She finished the call with 'sorry..' and is calling me back in a couple of hours.. and I know that this time she WILL ask.. and i'v been tormenting myself and have decided to say yes.. do you think this is the right thing to do?

I can't stop crying.. he is just such a perfect little angel and I can't bear the thought of him suffering.. she said she has no idea where the seizure came from and mused on the thought perhaps he had mini ones before, and this was the climax..

I tried to cheer up by playing with the other kittens.. they are so strong, healthy and boisterous.. I don't know what I did wrong.. I treated the all the same, apart from cuddling smudge the most because he was always my favourite..

Please keep him in your prayers.. at least to wish him a peaceful parting..

Awww I am so sorry I hope the little one pulls through.

Any news on the little one this morning?

^ is this mornings news.. am still waiting for what I believe will be the final phonecall

I just called her and after waiting for ages she came on and said good and bad news..

good news was he seems stronger and ate a bit, but they still had to syringe a lot in..

bad news is the seizure has left him with a bad head tilt, and she thinks there is damage.. she said.. she is giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is sleeping and isn't distressed.. but if he becomes distressed she will euthanise him..
I asked her to please call me if it comes to that.. and she said she will try contact me, but if she can't.. she'll do it anyways.. but I want to say goodbye..

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this...{{{HUGS}}}

AWWW that is so sad I'm sending prayers and good vibes to you and your special little one.

Oh AbbeyCat, I am so sorry to hear about this. From what it sounds like there is nothing you could have done while fostering him, he just is a fragile little kitten and got the short end of the stick. Please don't blame yourself at all.

I retain hope for you and him that he will pull through.

Baby Angel Smudge

I am so sorry for your loss, he was beautiful.