what to do.....

marge

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...when friends start drinking like fishes....?

I mean if it's a close friend, I would say something, but this is awkward:

I have kept in touch with a friend of my Mom's since she passed. I have really enjoyed it but lately it's all about the booze, for her not for me. I started staying away more, not out of moral issue but cause it just wasn't good for my mood to be around that. But then she has had some family problems so I thought it would be nice to come over, well it was the worst so far. She was so drunk by the time i left she was slurring and repeating herself.

I don't feel close enough to teh family to say anything, I mean if I saw her trying to drive or something I would obviously. But mostly I suspect she just has a headache in the morning.

What would you do?
 

scamperfarms

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I personally would make mention of it. Not in an accusing way, but an understanding way. And trying to find out, WHY she is going down this self destructive path. Sometimes they just need someone to listen.
 
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marge

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Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

I personally would make mention of it. Not in an accusing way, but an understanding way. And trying to find out, WHY she is going down this self destructive path. Sometimes they just need someone to listen.
I feel so weird, I know you are right, but since this woman is 30 years older than me it doesn't feel right.
 

scamperfarms

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I am sure it does feel weird. I can understand that..a few years ago I had to have that talk with my DAD
 

sillyjilly

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I think if you talk with her like you mother might have that may help. If you mother wouldn't have approved of the path she is taking you need to tell her that. Tell her how dissapointed you mother would be and how much happier you ALL could be if she took back control of her life and started drinking responsibly.

Good luck with whatever you do do!
 
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marge

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Thanks everybody. It's hard. I suppose it's even all about my not being the kid anymore, but old enough to take a parental role.
 

sunnicat

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It's never easy to stand by and watch someone you care about do something that you know is not good for them. My mother is an alcoholic, and no matter how many times I talk to her, she will not or can not stop drinking. I have tried everything from being blunt, to being understanding, to just plain keeping myself and my boys away from her. I have finally realized that this is a problem that she must face before it can be remedied. As long as she refuses to face it, or faces it and refuses to do anything about it, the consequences are that she won't see me or the kids nearly as much as she used to. It's heartbreaking, but I have to think of myself at this point. It's just been going on too long.
If your friend is just starting to drink, perhaps a candid conversation will be enough to make her realize what she is doing and stop her from going any further. Alcoholism is an ugly, lonely disease. Good luck, hon.
 

loveysmummy

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Marge,
Does this woman have any support system at all?
Could you talk to them? How do they feel about it?
Did she just start drinking heavily or since your mum passed?
If she just started, what do you think might have caused that?
 
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marge

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Originally Posted by Loveysmummy

Marge,
Does this woman have any support system at all?
Could you talk to them? How do they feel about it?
Did she just start drinking heavily or since your mum passed?
If she just started, what do you think might have caused that?
My Mom's been gone for 10 years so I know that's not it. She has a clsoe knit family but I think if i said something to any of them it would back fire, I don't feel they feel they know me well enough, see that is part of the problem.

I do feel mostly weird cause I am actually not that close to this woman.
 
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