or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › How old were you when you had your first child--not cat, actual human child :)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How old were you when you had your first child--not cat, actual human child :)

post #1 of 39
Thread Starter 
Well, my husband and I are starting to round the corner into the age where kids are more than a distant possibility, and I thought I'd do a quick survey to see, out of those of you that are parents (to actual kids, not cats!) how old you were when you had your first child, and what age you think is a good one to start having children.
We definitely want to wait a few more years, until we're a little more financially flush and feel like we've had time together as a couple, without kids, but with both of us having such busy careers and social lives, not to mention the required snuggle time with Oliver and Emma, I think its entirely possible that in about 10 years (I'd be 35) we'd wake up and realize we hadn't even started yet!

I want to be old enough that I don't feel I've missed out on other life experiences, but young enough that I can keep up with the buggers and won't be using a walker at their high school graduation! lol!

So, what do YOU think is a good age, based on your own experiences?
post #2 of 39
I'm 38, still no kids. Most probably will never have them. I'm fairly typical of most gay men though.
post #3 of 39
hmm i might get back to you in a few years im only turning 19
post #4 of 39
DH and I are planning to have kids in 2010. I will be 28 then and he will be 30.
post #5 of 39
I was 24 years old, unmarried, and NOT READY at all. I have to say, if I'd not gotten pregnant at that point, I would have had my tubes tied a few years later (most likely) due to the fear of pregnancy (I have Epilepsy so I had plenty of reasons to fear it!!).

As far as being financially flushed? I was living in a teeny one-bedroom apartment, making barely enough to get by, had NO health insurance and like I said, unmarried. I did marry the father to get health insurance (I didn't love him) but we divorced when my baby was 3 months old.

I don't think anyone anywhere is EVER financially ready for kids!!! The poorest of people can make the greatest parents; and on the flipside, I've seen Richie Rich types have baby after baby and ignore them, drop them off to babysitters, and basically turn them into snobs.

Anyhoo it's all your preference I suppose. I knew that I'd not want to have any more babies after the age of 30; that was my preference. I did get pregnant by my ex-boyfriend when I was 29; I would have kept that baby but I had a nasty miscarriage. And in all honesty, it was his total indifference and lack of empathy over the pregnancy and eventual miscarriage, I had my tubes tied 2 months later.

I don't regret it one bit either. I'm very happy with just one child, and I thank GOD I had her when I did! She's very smart and very capable and truthfully life, for me, started at age 30! I have had more fun in the past 3 yrs than I ever did in my 20's!!!

When you have a baby, you may as well give up those first 2 years... I didn't wanna leave my baby with a sitter or grandparents. I'm having the time of my life right now and the mere thought of going through diapers or crying fits and all that at age 33 makes me cringe. (baby going thru diapers, not me...)

Hope that helps ya a little.
post #6 of 39
You didn't put an option for "I'll have a kid when Hell freezes over!"
post #7 of 39
I had my first child at age 21. For me, that was too young. I was married to the wrong man, and made some mistakes with my firstborn. She had a much tougher childhood than the rest of the "litter". I was 38 when I had my fourth and last child. That is probably a little too old! I get tired more easily than I did when I was younger, etc.

I think age 25 to 35 is probably best. Before 25, you are often too immature to be a really good parent. (Huge generalization here, I know!) And after 35 your fertility really begins to drop. So if you really want kids, don't wait until you are so old that you have to have medical intervention to do it!
post #8 of 39
I had my first at 24. Then waited 7 years before I had my second.
I have a boy and a girl. Girls are MUCH harder! Keirra is always hanging on me.
My son who is now 11 was not like that.
post #9 of 39
I was 18...way to young.
post #10 of 39
I'm just rounding the 'engagement' corner on the road of life, but I think I really wants to have kids someday, given that my future husband and I can provide for them no less than what my parents provided me. However, if I do this before my 30th birthday, all of you can slap me I think 32ish would be a good age for me personally, just judging from how the music industry works, etc.
post #11 of 39
I had my first (and only) child at 21, I am still married to her father (12th wedding anniversary this year) and I don't regret any of it. When my daughter is 18 I will be 39 and still young enough (and wiser) to do thing with my life that I want to do. I also will be young enough when I have grandchildren to do things with them, and I may make it see my great grandchildren.
post #12 of 39
I had Richard when I was 17 and Mark was born, three years later. Way too young, both times but things worked out.

At least, when they were grown and gone, I was still young enough to enjoy it.
post #13 of 39
You will NEVER be financially ready for a child. You need to make sure that you are EMOTIONALLY ready for the lifestyle of parenting.

I was 23 when I had my first child, 2 & 1/2 yrs after we were married. I'm now pregnant with our 2nd and last child, a girl, due in Oct. Our oldest will be 5 & 1/2 when this one arrives.

I enjoyed the fact that I was young b/c we kinda got to "grow up" together. And I'm happy with them being this far apart b/c I got to spend 5 yrs with my son and now he's going to school so I'll get to spend 5 yrs with my daughter. I really love one on one time!

Botton line is that you will know when the right time for you is. I wish you luck!
post #14 of 39
I'm 33, and we will be starting a family soon. I think there are pluses to having kids young as well as waiting. Personally, I think I will be a much better mom because I am way more emotionally mature now than I was ten years ago. I have had time to watch friends and family raise their kids, and I can see what works and what doesn't work.

Still, I wonder if I will be a good mom. Can I raise them to be good and decent people? I think everyone probably worries about that, no matter what your age.
post #15 of 39
I will be 30 when our baby is born in Jan next year. We waited a while to start a family, until we had bought our first house and have been settled for a while. Still with this baby we will be giving up a couple of things - but then again we had planned/knew that when we decided we want a family. I am happy however that it is only happening now, I feel more ready to have a baby and be a mother.
post #16 of 39
I voted for 25 to 30.

Right now I am 27. I will be 28 in January and we are talking about getting pregnant for our first here real soon.
post #17 of 39
My only kid is my cat
post #18 of 39
I had my first son at age 22, the second at 25, the third at 32. My first two boys are from my previous marriage of 11 years. I believe I was too young and should have waited before marrying their father (we married when I was 20). Although there are things I would change in my life, I accept the marriage because it gave me those two beautiful boys. Now I'm lucky enough to have found my soulmate and we have a son together as well. Braeden will be 4 this September, and we couldn't be happier still!
post #19 of 39
I voted 25-35. I had my daughter when I was 28 and had already been married 8 years by then. I wanted a career, but didn't want to be too old before starting a family, because we have fertility problems in the family.
post #20 of 39
Ask me in about 7-10 years! Although we all know accidents happen.....but really...ask me in about 7-10 years! I'm only turning 20!

post #21 of 39
i was just turned 17 when i had my first but gone on to have 4 kids,all grown up and left home now,and im still young enough to enjoy myself baby sitting for my 15mth old grandson tonight,(hes asleep )
post #22 of 39
I was just a few weeks short of my 22nd birthday when daughter was born. We already had my step-son.

You will know when the time is right for you. Where we're at now, I'm still relatively young and we are now looking forward to having time together without dependent children. But I can see that it would also be nice to have time together before children first - that just wasn't an option for us. I've loved having our kids with us - now we're looking forward to our time.

Either way has its pluses - just do what feels right.
post #23 of 39
I do not want children. I don't like them very much.
post #24 of 39
Originally Posted by Creepyowl
You didn't put an option for "I'll have a kid when Hell freezes over!"
Thats me as well
post #25 of 39
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Thats me as well
Me too!
post #26 of 39
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
I do not want children. I don't like them very much.

But if by some remote chance I DO change my mind and decide to have one, it definitely won't be until I'm between 35-45 - I don't want to be tied down while I'm still young.
post #27 of 39
I'm 25.. so it will be over 25.. probably over 30 if ever. My mom had me when she was 26 and I always thought that was sooo old to start out because a lot of my friend's parents had them at 18,19, or 20. But now I'm 25 and wth was I thinking, I'm still young!!
post #28 of 39
Originally Posted by MaratWC
I'm 38, still no kids. Most probably will never have them. I'm fairly typical of most gay men though.

That is classic! I was quitely sipping my coffee at work, expecting a fairly serious topic, and I read this reply...I am still wiping the coffee off my monitor!

But as for myself, when pigs start flying!
post #29 of 39
I am childless and don't think I have any intentions of having any in the near future....
post #30 of 39
I'm thinking (hoping) I've got at least 5 years before any little ones come into the picture. I'm 22 now, but early menopause is a problem in my family so it's a bit risky for me to wait TOO long.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › How old were you when you had your first child--not cat, actual human child :)