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I could use some courage vibes...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Let me start this off by saying I'm an utter and complete weenie, and I hate telling people things they don't want to hear. But sometimes I just gotta get over it.

The group I foster for has made me uncomfortable lately with some of their actions. I won't get into it too much, just that I think they are more concerned with adopting animals out than them going to good homes - to an extreme I don't agree with.

The bottomline is, it makes me uncomfortable to the point that I'm not looking forward to my next set of fosters. And if I'm not going to enjoy it, and only worry about some terrible people getting the kittens I love, what is the point?

So, I need to call one of the people in charge of fostering and tell them this, let them know I still support the group, but am uncomfortable with what has happened lately (my latest foster and 4 other kittens were moved to an adoption center over 1/2 an hour away). See if they want to do anything about it, or if their hands are tied (at which point I should look for a new group to foster for).

... and confrontation makes me nervous. I need courage.
post #2 of 15
Oh My... what a difficult situation........
Sending (((((((((((Good vibes))))))))) don´t give up! Animo!
post #3 of 15
Go forward, with courage, eatrawfish, and know that TCSrs from all over this planet are behind you all the way!! Do not doubt your intentions; you are not acting out of ego, but out of a sincere concern for the cats that God, in His great knowledge, has placed in your life. There are SO many cats (and other rescue groups) that could use your efforts, that no matter what happens, it will be for the best.
A suggestion, though, perhaps you could identify this upcoming interaction as a invitation to necessary dialogue, not confrontation, and maybe you could PM some of the others here in this site, for ways to approach the group that would be more productive, because if the group feels attacked, they will react defensively and prob. little positive will result. Valanhb, Eilcon, Jcat, TNR1, DawnofSierra, Wellingtoncats (to name a only a few, there are many,many more) have put on posts that have impressed me with the ability to make a (sometimes) controversial point that has balance and allows me to consider what they've said without making it feel like an argument. Please keep us posted on what happens, okay?! After your "talk" is over, we can relax together on TCS.... Hugs, prayers, & vibes coming your way! Susan
post #4 of 15
Originally Posted by catsknowme
A suggestion, though, perhaps you could identify this upcoming interaction as a invitation to necessary dialogue, not confrontation. Susan
What great advice! This is kinda what I was thinking, stated perfectly! I am hoping your necessary dialogue helps you and the other volunteers who may feel the same way.

Maybe you can write out your concerns to help formulate what you will say ahead of time. And if you get nervous and are likely to forget key points you want to make, its ok to write them on an index card and refer to it. Just tell them this is very important to you and you want to be sure you don't miss anything.

Best of luck to you, go in like a confident alpha cat going for the new catnip toy! And remember what they say in IMO-hisses are okay, but no claws and teeth!
post #5 of 15
Sending lots of good vibes your way

I hope it all goes well and I can understand you feeling nervous as I am like that too....I hate confrontation.

Thinking of you and wishing you lots of luck

Eva x
post #6 of 15
I'm a big weenie too when it comes to confortation, but I realize that you go in it being sweet and telling the truth it all works out in the end with a big postive!! I'm sending all my love and support to you to stand up for those babies who can't speak for themselves. Good Luck and lots of GOOD VIBES your way!!
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for the vibes...

I haven't called yet, but I totally agree that I don't want it to just be me putting them on the defensive. I just want to tell them why I feel uncomfortable, see if they have any desire to work with me to make fostering for them work for me, or if I should just go foster somewhere else.

I will still support and volunteer for them no matter what.

It's still hard to think of the opening words though... I will call soon to get it done with...
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well, I called and it didn't go so well.

I was told:

*It's in the best interest of the animals to get adopted fast
*They get adopted faster at the other adoption center
*The girls at the other adoption center are great (I've heard 5 accounts to the opposite - with stories)

I am angry that I forgot to re-iterate that no one TELLS me what goes on, but if I decide to go with a new group (which I am considering STRONGLY right now) I will mention that to them.

I'll think on this. Since I go on vacation in a week I can't foster for ANYONE right now anyway.
post #9 of 15
If I were you, I think I would go with a new group. If you don't feel comfortable with who your little babies are going to, it's time to change. You are taken care of them so they have the best chance they can at life. You want to know that when adopted they are given a fair shot.

I had the opposite problem with the shelter I adopted Abby from. They were very strict about who could adopt, and I had to keep providing them with paperwork. the things I didn't like was the way they treated the animals. They were also very unorganized. I realize they are a non-profit and are running on a very tight budget, but some things can't be excused.
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
I agree Karen. And I don't think that keeping the animals in a cage for a month trying to find the absolute perfect adopter is a good idea either. I was just hoping for some sort of medium, but I don't think I'm going to get it.

People just have widely differing views on how things should be done.

If only I were running things, right?

This weekend I'm going to talk to the group that runs adoptions at the pet store near my apartment and see how they work.
post #11 of 15
Originally Posted by eatrawfish
This weekend I'm going to talk to the group that runs adoptions at the pet store near my apartment and see how they work.

That sounds like a good idea. You are doing a wonderful thing by fostering these babies.
post #12 of 15
Lots of courage vibes to you. You have the animals' best interest at heart, you can do it.
post #13 of 15
Courage girl...imagine that we are all sitting with you when you tell them. You are not alone.
post #14 of 15
Oh definitly thinking of you!
post #15 of 15
Ohmigosh!! What a completely moronic statement "It's better for the animals to get adopted faster" - faster than what???? Than being in an old-fashioned county animal-shelter, maybe heart beats with terror when I think of what situations those adoptees may go into....I once was placing some rescues and a woman & her 2 brats came over to get a kitten - but first I had the children meet my cat, JC, and they were so not ready for a pet; when I refused to let them adopt a kitten, the mother was irate & wouldn't leave; I had to threaten to call the sheriff's office. No, it was better to wait; the result was 2 college girls adopting one kitten & their roommate came out & adopted another; they promised to use my vet & my vet reported that the kitties were doing great! Jeesh...I hope that you find another group & soon. By the way, enjoy your vacation - I hope that it is full of fun, relaxation & happiness!
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