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I still don't understand...

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
I am so glad that I found this site. I have to vent somewhere, and no one seems to understand what I'm experiencing.
We were recently on vacation and my friend was taking care of my 3 cats, Angel & Percy outdoors, and my 5 year old best friend, Sunni, indoors. She called to tell me that Sunni wasn't acting like herself. I said maybe she missed us, keep an eye on her. Two days later she called and said she was taking Sunni to the vet, she was vomiting green bile all over the house and lying in her water bowl, lethargic. Fortunately, the vet is close to my mom's, so my mom took Sunni to the vet for us. They said she was dehydrated, gave her a water treatment, antibiotics, and sent her home with Mom. If she wasn't any better by the next day, when we were coming home, we could take her to our vet for a recheck.
My mom called me at 7 a.m. the next morning, crying, telling me Sunni didn't make it through the night. I was devastated. How could this happen? She was fine when we left? What could take her so quickly? I will never understand any of this. Unfortunately, all this leaves me with is guilt. Would things have been different if I had been home? Would I have recognized the signs of her being ill early enough to intervene? I will never know. My beloved kitty now lies in peace in the backyard, under a stone we made with love.
We adopted a new kitten, Sophie Grace, from the Animal Protective League the weekend after Sunni passed. I just couldn't handle the kitty shaped hole in my life. Sophie is a beautiful, sweet, lovable girl and I'm sure we'll make new memories together. Nothing could replace my girl, Sunni, and I would never try. But, just maybe, Sophie can help heal the wound.
Thank you all for listening. Rest in peace, Sunnicat, August 2000 - June 30, 2005
post #2 of 11
How sad! Please don't second guess yourself by asking What if. Sometimes things happen that we cannot prevent. I hope you find new love in your new kitty like you had with Sunni. May she rest in peace.

post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thank you, Courtney. I know it's not good to keep wondering what if, but it's a normal phase of grief, I suppose.
Sophie Grace (aka new kitty) is doing well and she's so funny. At least she can make me laugh, something that seemed next to impossible a week or so ago.
Kitty pats & purrs to you and yours!
post #4 of 11
How sad to lose your kitty when you were away from home. But you know your Mom did everything she could. Condolences on the loss of Sunni. I'm glad you were able to save Sophie Grace. I'm sure she will imprint herself strongly into your lives!
post #5 of 11
Sorry you lost your sweet Sunni. It's never easy, but especially hard to have it happen when you couldn't be with her. Don't plague yourself with questions, though. You left her in good hands, and sometimes these things just happen.

I'm glad you have a new little purrson in your life. She'll help you over these early awful weeks with her little purrson antics.

Take care, and be gentle with yourself.

RIP Sweet Sunni
post #6 of 11
I'm so sorry to hear about Sunni. Please don't second guess yourself. Sometimes things happen suddenly with our kitties we just don't understand.
May your precious baby rest in peace and may you have many happy years with your new little one. Take care.
post #7 of 11
Rest in peace, little Sunni! I understand your grief, Ronda, and it's not necessarily a bad thing to analyze what might have gone wrong, and if this was preventable, just for the safety of your new little Sophie. And I know that I have regrets when my mare died when I was back East in Michigan, and I wasn't there to comfort her. But, as in your situation, my mom was there, and like all moms, they comfort our beloved ones because they realize that they (the pets) are so dear to us (our moms' children). It's not your fault that you were gone when this happened, we just can't choose the time of anyone's passing; we are left behind to deal with the grief. Please be assured, this too, shall pass (and I don't say that lightly because I lost my 18 yo nephew, my daughter's father and my oldest brother in the timespan of 17 months, starting 13 years ago) and you will be able to remember Sunni without that sharp pain of grief savagely tearing at your heart ( I used to describe it as feeling like a piece of broken glass in my heart, I'd be feeling better and then something would jolt awake the pain, although it does diminish with time). Remember, Sunni is enjoying her reward, and someday will be there to meet you across the Bridge. Please keep us updated on how you're doing!! We've been in this situation, too, and some of us here in TCS still are ( I lost my Miss Tobie last fall). Hugs, Susan
post #8 of 11

post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
You are all just wonderful. I cannot express my gratitude at your understanding and concern. The hardest times are at night, when Sunni doesn't come to bed with me and pat my face, wanting her goodnight loves. I miss the weight of her on my legs as I sleep, the sound of her purr. Sophie sleeps above my head on the pillow, and although I know she is there, I miss the contact I had with Sunni.

Last week I took Sophie to the vet for her first set of booster shots. He assured me that Sunni was too far gone and there was nothing I could have done for her, even if I had been here. He believes that it was some sort of obstruction, either a tumor or hairball, in her intestines that caused liver and kidney failure. That is the only explanation he could give for how this seemingly healthy girl could have left us so quickly. I just wish she hadn't gone alone.

Thank you again for all of your warm thoughts and prayers. I'm making it, day by day, which is all we can ever do.
post #10 of 11
RIP sweet Sunni!
post #11 of 11
I am sorry to hear of your loss of Sunni so unexpectedly while you were away. My thoughts are with you. She was a beautiful cat. May Sophie soften the pain and help mend your heart, but Sunni will alway have place there. RIP Sunni
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