Extra! Extra! First Edishun of The Kitty Chronuculls!

ollyextra05 · Jul 19, 2005

All the News Dats Fit To Print!
First Edishun of Oliver and Emma's Kitty Chronuculls!
Editor: Oliver
Co-Editor: Emma
Co-Co-Editor: Olly and Emma's Meowmy, Julianna
Photografurrs: Oliver and Emma

And Now, a Word from our sponsors!

Da Kitty Contact Store Will Be Open on August 5th!
All kitties who bring in a copy of this Ad Get 1/2 Off a Pair of Contacts, or 1/2 off a Pair of Ari's Speshul Flip-Flops!

Today's Speshul Breaking News Story!

Our gossip Columnist Emma brings us this shocking piece of dirt, straight from the CatSite itself!

KITTIES GONE WILD!!!

Lately, it seems many of da kitties at Da Cat Site have developed a bit of a partyin problem!

Dey boozin and dancin till all hours of da nite, and keepin dere meowmies and daddies up and worryed bout dem!

One very reliable source who chose to remain anonymouse had da following thing to say:

"Dere's so much tequila at my house! Woot!Woot! Party Time! Everybody come on over and paaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttyyyyy!!"

Kitties who usedta be upstandin CatSite citizenns are turning inta partyin hooligans!

We couldn't believe it, til we saw the shockin troof for ourself, captured by our super secret paparazzi photographer!!!

Dere's Milky, Passed Out From Da Hooch!

Rosie who is normally such a nice kitty gets reel meen when sheez drunk!

Look at all da booze and all the partyin kitties!!!

What coold possibly be drivin all deese kitties to drink! Is it stress? Not enuff love from dere meowma's and purrpas? How do we solve dis problumm of KITTIES GONE WILD?

Our Senyerr Editurr Ollyfur has his own thawts on da matter:
Maybe da kitties just need to party every once in awhile? You know, every once in awhile I like to kick back myself with a nice vintage of catnip and get a little freaky!
But, dere's other ways to beat da stress kitties! I like to get some exercise and the nice endorrphins help me feel better!

Skiin is sho fun!

And tennis a fun game to play wif frenns!

So, kitties, in concluushun, maybe next time you think bout GOING WILD you should try to find some other way to relax!!

IN DA NEXT EDISHUN OF KITTY CHRONUCULLS:
Livin wif da dawgas, a kitties guide to survivin de unthinkable
And, a speshul gossip column bout Olly and his Girlfriend Mika: Will they Stay Together! Will They Break Up! Will They Get Married-ed?

DON MISS IT!!!

yosemite · Jul 19, 2005

What a great kronikle. I want a subscription please!

Only thing - I can't let Mika see it. If she sees what you rited for next edishun she go crazy and make me nuts! She already a pest, er, high strung!

Good paper Ollie and Emma. You are so talented. I luvd the pitchers too.

batgirl2good · Jul 19, 2005

You rule~ We love this. We nomuhnatin u for an award!!

Purrlitzer Prize!!

katachtig · Jul 19, 2005

Its so gud tat you guys are on to tis epedeemic. Meowmys and purrpas needs to shaperone their kittys better. Wez lookin ferwerd to your next edishion.

Luzee

batgirl2good · Jul 19, 2005

we tink yur investuhgaytivve reportin is the bes!
FOX newz, wach out! U soon be replacet!

carolcat · Jul 19, 2005

OllyExtra05 said:
All the News Dats Fit To Print!
First Edishun of Oliver and Emma's Kitty Chronuculls!
Editor: Oliver
Co-Editor: Emma
Co-Co-Editor: Olly and Emma's Meowmy, Julianna
Photografurrs: Oliver and Emma

And Now, a Word from our sponsors!

Da Kitty Contact Store Will Be Open on August 5th!
All kitties who bring in a copy of this Ad Get 1/2 Off a Pair of Contacts, or 1/2 off a Pair of Ari's Speshul Flip-Flops!

Today's Speshul Breaking News Story!

Our gossip Columnist Emma brings us this shocking piece of dirt, straight from the CatSite itself!

KITTIES GONE WILD!!!

Lately, it seems many of da kitties at Da Cat Site have developed a bit of a partyin problem!

Dey boozin and dancin till all hours of da nite, and keepin dere meowmies and daddies up and worryed bout dem!

One very reliable source who chose to remain anonymouse had da following thing to say:

"Dere's so much tequila at my house! Woot!Woot! Party Time! Everybody come on over and paaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttyyyyy!!"

Kitties who usedta be upstandin CatSite citizenns are turning inta partyin hooligans!

We couldn't believe it, til we saw the shockin troof for ourself, captured by our super secret paparazzi photographer!!!

Dere's Milky, Passed Out From Da Hooch!

Rosie who is normally such a nice kitty gets reel meen when sheez drunk!

Look at all da booze and all the partyin kitties!!!

So, kitties, in concluushun, maybe next time you think bout GOING WILD you should try to find some other way to relax!!

Wow, an egcelent article about a hushed up problem for sure! We's got that bad COKE stuff at our house

! Meomwy drinks it alla time and last nite I saw Tia trying to get some outta her glass!

I, however, never touch that stuff, I am mean, er, on a natureal high without those bad drinks!

Thank you for bringing the problem out into de open, I will be awaiting your next article with grate anticipation! yur friend jasper, pes, er, tia and meomwy Carol

katachtig · Jul 19, 2005

Originally Posted by carolcat

We's got that bad COKE stuff at our house

! Meomwy drinks it alla time and last nite I saw Tia trying to get some outta her glass!

Oh Jasper,
Your meowmy sounds like Meomy. She has a bad COKE habit. Always drinking the stuff. Wez trying to get hers to go to rehab.

Luzeee

ollyextra05 · Jul 19, 2005

Our meowma drinks da Dye-it Coke. No good reel bad!

Weez glad you enjoyed the chronuculls. It'll probbly take coupla days til we get da next one done. Gots to be extra careful bout our sources and whatnot. Dis is journalisssm at it's highest, peoples!

katie=^..^= · Jul 19, 2005

We jus finly gots our meowmy to stop drinkin that COKE stuff. She had a reel bad habit, but it waz makin her stomac hurts her an she finly quit. She still gots some gin in cold box place tho an she claims her dr sed it was OK! Yeah rite.

gemlady · Jul 20, 2005

Good job. Olly and Emma! Wait'll Milky's purrpaw and Rosie's meowmy see their kitties in the new!
Ari

rosiemac · Jul 20, 2005

Oh good grief when Jan sent me this link telling me that Rosie was in the news i have tears in my eyes with laughing at it

Do i need a solicitor for her?!

katachtig · Jul 20, 2005

Originally Posted by rosiemac

Oh good grief when Jan sent me this link telling me that Rosie was in the news i have tears in my eyes with laughing at it

Do i need a solicitor for her?!

Only if its underage drinking or she's driving afterwards.

rosiemac · Jul 20, 2005

Well it's a good job Sophies not there then, because "Little Miss No Fear" would do something like that!

coolcat · Jul 20, 2005

Originally Posted by gemlady

Good job. Olly and Emma! Wait'll Milky's purrpaw and Rosie's meowmy see their kitties in the new!
Ari

YouÂ´re rigth Jannie!

....

OMG!!!!

...the paparazzys on the Attack!

.....

OllyExtra05 what a terrific Idea!

about your news paper!!!

Did you included the Social Life Stile in your columns?

....

batgirl2good · Jul 20, 2005

We sad to say Meowmy Bobbie is addict of coke classic! She doz drink it wifout caffeen. But she is still a user!!

Wut do us kitties tink we need to do bout this problem?

katachtig · Jul 20, 2005

Originally Posted by batgirl2good

We sad to say Meowmy Bobbie is addict of coke classic! She doz drink it wifout caffeen. But she is still a user!!

Wut do us kitties tink we need to do bout this problem?

Maybe the Kitty Chronuculls can do a features storee on rehabbing Meowmys from theys nasty COKE habbits. Tis is a big problem!

Luzeee

batgirl2good · Jul 20, 2005

yeah, they oughta do that. our meowmy has a big problem; she's a coke addit.

Originally Posted by katachtig

Maybe the Kitty Chronuculls can do a features storee on rehabbing Meowmys from theys nasty COKE habbits. Tis is a big problem!

Luzeee

katachtig · Jul 20, 2005

Originally Posted by OllyExtra05

Rosie who is normally such a nice kitty gets reel meen when sheez drunk!

Wez just notised sumtin else. How far has tis respektable member of the British feline soshiety fallen wen shes drinking American swill instead of fine whiskees from the United Kingdom. tis is trully trajic.

bigkittendaddy · Jul 23, 2005

Whut about Dadeez an their Koffee jonez. My Pawpa drinkz sumtimz 2 big pots a day an then hees all jittery all day an nite. Wen he gets like tat he won't leave mee to sleep in piece an then i hafts to tawk meen to him. Then he wanz to sleep when i wants to play, sumtimz he's so stoopid.

carolcat · Jul 23, 2005

Originally Posted by batgirl2good

yeah, they oughta do that. our meowmy has a big problem; she's a coke addit.

Yeah! MY meowmy a COKE ADDIT TOO!

But I mus confess that I am a CHOCOLATE MILK ADDICT

. There I confessed! Now what other brave kitty gonna fess up to they own jones?!

Extra! Extra! First Edishun of The Kitty Chronuculls!

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