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Significant Others

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
What does your SO do that completely endears them to you?

What do they do that infuriates you?

How do you 'motivate' them to be more accomadating?
post #2 of 20
I will reply later -- hubby's in here!
post #3 of 20
Sorry, girl, the only "other" in my life is pretty insignificant.
post #4 of 20
Ok, this is easy for me. A little background....hubby and I have been married for 7 years, he is great.

So to answer your questions AP:

1. He is a WONDERFUL dad. And I mean that so sincerely. He thinks of his children as his whole world, which I find so noble. And he treats me like gold still after all this time. We are able to still joke and play like "teenagers" even though he is 35 and I am almost 27. We have such a great marriage.

2. There are times when he can infuriate me, mostly when he leaves stuff lying around the house. It gets on my nerves to find shoes, ties, shirts in all places that I just cleaned! The only other thing that gets on my nerves, is sometimes if something is bugging him he won't always tell me even though I KNOW there is something wrong. He'll just say "nothing is wrong", until I have to pry it out of him. It always leads to some sort of disagreement. But its rare, so I won't complain.

3. As far as motivating, I don't have to at all. My husband and I work as a team 100% of the time. If he is not pulling his load, I usually just tell him. I also know things that motivate him, like talking about something he really likes ( likes cars for example ) and then once he is totall relaxed I can approach him about something else that maybe needs some attention.

Great Thread!
post #5 of 20
My SO and I were friends for 7 years before we got together as a couple. He is the sweetest, most caring man I have ever known. We had a few rough years, just as any couple does, but 16 years later, we are great friends and a happy couple. I always heard opposites attract, but I don't believe it. We like most of the same things, but have enough different interests to not be joined at the hip. He looks like a big, tough guy, but he is actually a big sweetie. He came home from work late one night and discovered our 3 month old kitten had a swollen paw. It was midnight, but he put the kitty inside his jacket and off to the ER vet. They saw this big tattooed biker at the door and almost didn't let us in. He unzipped his jacket and showed them the tiny baby with the swollen paw and they opened the door and treated him. He had been bitten by something and was actually just fine. I thought it was so sweet that he was so worried about this little one. He is like that about all the kitties. My cat limit is 2, but when my daughter told him a kitten was being abused, he gave in and we got Pearl. When I saw someone throw a tiny kit out a car window, I couldn't just leave it in the road, so we have Georgia. He tries to be grouchy about it, but all it takes is one little purr and cuddle and he melts. They love his beard and will go straight for it. He's the best!
post #6 of 20
My hubby and I have been married 10 years now, and the thing that's most endearing to me is that he's my best friend. I look forward to him getting home at the end of each day, even though we usually only have an hour or two together after the kids go to bed.

He does a couple of things that kinda make me mad. He's a slob, but I've started accepting that after 10 years. There's no changing him. Last night he really made me mad. I had been looking forward to some "marital bliss" and the lump went to sleep! Couldn't believe it. I thought about it all day and he went to sleep! Ugh!

About being more accomodating, I usually just tell him what I need for him to do. He can't read my mind (just figured that out! ), so if he's slacking off on something that I expect of him, I just have to tell him. That works better than me getting upset because he's not doing something that he doesn't know I want him to do!

All in all, he's a great guy, which is good since we have about another 50 years together!
post #7 of 20
Thread Starter 
One of the thing that endears my SO to me is that he's got this rough tough exterior (comes from being in the army) but with me he gets all goofy and silly. The little boy in him comes out. I'll call him at work and he'll answer in his no nonsense hard-ass way and when I say it's me, his voice always melts and goes soft and he says 'hi baby'.

He is always trying to be funny because he loves to hear me laugh, and we will get silly sometimes. He's vunerable with me and that touches my heart.

He comes from a family where the women did all the work. Even if they had jobs. He has a pretty rough background and has had no positive male role model. Up until recently I did pretty much 95% of the cooking. Now I like to cook, but on mondays I work from 8am until 8:30pm. It's very rare that I get home before 6 the rest of the week, while he on the other hand is usually home by 4:30. One monday night a couple months ago I called him around 8:30 and said i was really tired and beat and could he start dinner. He informed me that he was at a critial point in his online game and couldn't step away. We hung up and the drive home I was steaming. I wanted to tear him a new one for being so insensitive. But I realized that all that would do was cause fighting and my message would never get across. When I got home I didn't go upstairs to see him, I immediatly started making dinner. He came down after a few minutes and said that he was just getting ready to start it, and I could tell he felt a little guilty. I told him that we had a new rule that dinner was his responsiblity on mondays, thursdays and saturdays. He readily agreed. He was shocked that I didn't tear into him.

I'm slowly coming the realization that I can't change him, but I can change the way I react to him and sometimes that itself changes how he reacts to me and we are able to make progress that way.

I do the same thing you do Daniela, I will start a conversation about something he enjoys, and in the course of us joking around I will ask him to do whatever it is I need. He always does what I ask but sometimes he's a mule about it and others he's an angel. I prefer angel so whatever I can do to help make that happen I do.
post #8 of 20
My SO and I have been married (if you can call it that) for almost 39 years now. It was ok in the begining but has gotten worse over the years. I am hoping that we never reach our 40th year together. I hope that soon I will be able to leave him and to marry KF who is the most wonderful and caring person I have ever known!!

What endears him to me...lol...nothing. Best I can say is he has always provided for me!!!

What infuriates me... mostly his drinking and his "I am always right" attitude. He also hates cats!

How do I motivate him...I dont, its his way or not at all. He does only what he wants most of the time. Every now and then he shocks me and does something nice for me but not to often.

So there it is in a nut shell. Felt good to vent as he was on a drinking benge last night! And I walked around on eggshells all evening!!

post #9 of 20
What endears me to Mike is that he is so giving, almost to a fault. He fixes computers for people with no money, so he doesn't charge them, he stops everytime we see a stranded animal on the road, and he loves me unconditionally, something I am still trying to get used to.

What infuriates me the most about him, is that he has a bad habit of not throwing trash away. Just leaves it on the counter and I have to do it for him. He does however take the trash out, so go figure?

How do I motivate him? I don't and I quit trying to a long time ago. I accept him for who he is and what he is and have stopped trying to change him because I think he should be changed. As we have grown, I have instead tried to change myself, that is my motivation
post #10 of 20
Hmmm....Let's see

1. Ken has always let me do whatever it is that I want to do. He would be willing to give up anything in order to help someone in need(even me). He is GREAT with kids, which has made him a wonderful father. He is wonderful about helping around the house and running errands if I need help. Of course I can't forget that he loves cats just as much as I do and it's something that we enjoy together.

2. Let's see....I would have to say that it has to be his ability to go from happy to mad in about 4 seconds. The other is that he gets involved in something and only stays interested for a short period of time.

3. I don't know if I have been able to motivate him to do anything. He's pretty willing to do anything if asked. Anything that is "just him" is something that I live with and accept as part of the way he is. The end of this month is our 9 year anniversary and we have been together for 11 years. If it hasn't changed by now, I don't think it's going to
post #11 of 20
Originally posted by airprincess
What does your SO do that completely endears them to you?
He is there for me when I am sad, in a bad mood, etc!

What do they do that infuriates you?
Well, my hubby likes to lay around 99.1% of the time on our days off ...... which means, IMO, he doesn't do much. I am the one who goes and gets us dinner/lunch/breakfast about 99.9% of the time which irritates me!

How do you 'motivate' them to be more accomadating?
I tell him how I feel, and that sometimes works

post #12 of 20
Well Vinny and I have been together for 5 1/2 years (married for 3 1/2). He also lets me be me and I'm the one who introduced him to cats (he never owned a pet when was young). On our first date, I asked his opinion on cats and he said "I'm deathly allergice to them, why". I said "well, this is our first and only date as I show, judge and breed cats". His reply "well, there's always shots." From that moment on, I knew he was it. We got engaged after five days but didn't get married for another 2. The first time he met everyone was at a cat show and my mom said to me "what f___ rock did you find him under as he's not your type" (today she absolutely adores him). He took to showing while I did my first judging assignment and it was so cute watching him involved. He's a big man (short, but big) but a realy pussy cat to me. I don't know any other guy that would move back east because I want to. He never grew up with animals and now has what he calls his small zoo. What gets me pissed with him is his stubborness. When he's had a bad day, I leave him alone until he gets over it and that doesn't take that long. He thinks the four legged ones are his "kids" and tells everyone so. He's protective over them and me. If anyone tries to hurt someone close to me, I feel bad for the person because he'll make sure that they don't hurt anyone ever again. I would never change him as I love him just the way he is even with his ups and downs. That's whay makes him -- well, him -- the man I fell in love with.

post #13 of 20
Ok, well I have been married for less than 2 years but my SO and I have been together off and on for 10 (since we were 15).

What he does that endears me? He is so silly and makes me laugh. He also supports the crazy ideas that I have

Infuriates me? He thinks everything that goes wrong is the new cat's fault (the one we are getting rid off ) He also thinks that he is ALWAYS right!

Motivate? My SO is bipolar, so motivating is a big issue. We talk a lot and I try to provide him with examples of the positive and the negative.

We looked at each other on our 1 yr. and said that if the next year sucked as bad as the 1st- we'd end it. Fortunately, it has gotten better. I love him more than anything, but he is such a pain sometimes too!
post #14 of 20
1) John does everything, he cooks, cleans etc. He is not afraid to do what needs doing

2) He also always thinks something is wrong with the computer - he reformats at least once every few months. He also is very moody.

3) I don't motivate John - he motivates me.
post #15 of 20
My SO and I were together for 4 years.
-His charm was the most endearing thing about him, but it was a double edged sword, as it was what kept me with him.
-His drinking was the thing I hated most. I could never understand the point, and why he wouldn't stop. And mostly I never understood why he was willing to endanger his life on a regular basis if he loved me as much as he said. Just wasn't logical.
-I couldn't do anything to motivate him. He did what he wanted when he wanted. Sometimes it seemed he would do the opposite of what I wanted on purpose. Control issues.
But I'm free now (as of October). Feels great. I'm a little put off of men right now.
My only SO now is my wonderful cat, Duvet. He's the most chivalrous gentleman I have ever known.
And he only drinks water.
post #16 of 20
Great thread!! Ok lets see....what endears me to hubby..hmmm....
1)Like AP mentioned before...he has this "tough guy" thing with other blokes...but when its just me and him he gets all mushy and just wants cuddles!! ha ha ha cute.....and the way he always asks me what to wear and to sort his collar out for him....bless...(and do his hair if we're going out somewhere cool.... shhhhh!!)

2)he thinks every male celebrity is gay....sigh....why, I don't know!! He just does! Oh and he takes his socks off DOWNSTAIRS every night and just leaves them there.....and has a tendancy to walk mud through the house cos he didn't wipe his feet/take his shoes off!!

3) Motivate him?!!! Impossible!!! Mmmm maybe pouting... he does a good job on me though!
post #17 of 20

You know this is quite possibly the hardest and easiest thing ive ever been asked.. but here goes.

First and foremost....

Sandie puts up with me, and like she says, I can go from happy to mad in about 4 seconds..plus alot of other things that I wont go into..

But even more than that, I've never really been truly in awe of anyone except for her. Her outlook on life, her smile, the fact that she sooooo amazingly intelligent, would give her left arm if someone needed it..

You know how sometimes, there is just not enough words to describe what it is you want to say, this is one of those times. I look at her every single day, when she doesn't know it, and think "my god how did I get so lucky"....

Oh and the one thing that irks me... and its small..


post #18 of 20
Awww! How sweet You two are so lucky to have found each other
post #19 of 20
Oh I forgot about the Motivate part...

Hmmmmmmm well, quite honestly.. relate it somehow to cats...

Like.. hey, lets go to the Mall... and on the way we can get some cat stuff at the pet store..

Or, You know if we put our office in this room then we'll be closer to the kittens..

Ya'll get the idea..

post #20 of 20
Oh Ken how sweet. This is definitely one that I will hold over your head. Seriously guys, Sandie and Ken really make a fantastic couple and I'm glad to be good friends with them. Ken is right, Sandie would give her left (or right) arm for anyone she likes.

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