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Poll:Visitors-Should They Call Before Dropping By? - Page 2

post #31 of 58
Yes. Unless its an emergency, or someone you haven't met, its rude. The host could be busy, or not ready to have the guest over.
post #32 of 58
Originally Posted by Me-n-my guys
Ugh! My sister has always done this to me..today I got a message about "where are you, the car's out back.." etc, etc. I think I will just tell her we don't like drop-ins & leave it at that.

Tell her you were doing housework in the nude, and couldn't come to the door...or that you were in the bathtub and wasn't expecting company...that's the perfect segway (spelling?) for you to say...."Oh, I didn't know it was you, why didn't you call me? I thought it was just another door to door sales man or a Jehovah's Witness!"
post #33 of 58
They should call first. I am not too gracious, when someone just drops by unexpectedly.
post #34 of 58
My partner has a friend who likes to drop by unannounced, and he stays for hours on end... This guy does not seem to realise when he has worn out his welcome - Swedish people can be a bit reserved sometimes when it comes to saying what they think, but even my mild mannered boyfriend has gotten quite blunt with him and he just does not seem to understand.

You have to literally get up and walk away from him and start doing something else (he usually stays so long its bedtime so I will just go in the bathroom and get ready for bed). If he is still hanging around when we have done all of that my poor boyfriend can tell I am starting to freak out if this guy does not get out of our house in about 30 seconds...

That would be sooooo annoying

at the moment i don't like unexpected visitors because the only visitors i get in this town are nosy old women i don't even really know and they want to have a coffee and chat about totally boring stuff for hours.

luckily this hasn't happened for a while, if anyone does do this i just say i'm busy and they go away, i think they have gotten the hint now

i mostly hate it because they always gossip and ask me why my cats don't go out side as if that's any of their business.

i would love to see my parents or brothers though or my best friend but they live eight hours away and can't visit

down south i used to love having mum or nikki over for a chat but my nan annoys me, she's nasty to my mum and is a total control freak, she has this aweful habit of dropping by really early, waking me up and then opening every blind in the house before iv'e even had a chance to open my eye's properly, then she stays for ages and talks badly about my mum and brothers and harasses me about why i don't have a kid yet

i always feel uncomfortable around her and like i can't relax properly, with mum i always feel like i can be myself but with nan i just can't.

as for the phone, i wait for the message if it's when i'm cooking dinner because for the last three weeks iv'e had those telemarketers call me every second night, once i told one of them i was busy and he just hung up on me, slammed the phone in my ear

post #35 of 58
I don't care for pop in visits. I have an ex neighbor who does it, and it really annoys me cause he can't make a point of visiting to visit, he just "drops by" cause he went to the local church.

I can't even imagine doing it to someone now with cell phones etc, you can easily call.
post #36 of 58
Well we have never really had many unexpected visitors mainly because our house only has one door and it is at the back of the house and to get to the door you have to get past my dog. Who is always barking but once you say "Hey Jazzy" she wags her tail and comes over for a pet.
post #37 of 58
Unless they have called first, I pretend I'm not home!
It's rude and inconsiderate to just drop by. When guests come round I want my place to look neat and tidy, and I like to make special effort to make them feel welcome (like buy there favourite biscuits etc..) - I can't do that if they arrive unannounced.

post #38 of 58
I prefer a phone call or text first
post #39 of 58
I definitely prefer a phone call ahead of time!
post #40 of 58
I thought I was strange in not liking uninivted guests, but obviously not! I hate it when people pop over without checking first, and I too have pretended not to be in sometimes. If you've been working all day and looking forward to going home and curling up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a film, it's incredibly annoying when someone comes over and expects you to welcome them and entertain them all night.

I have a friend who doesn't work and she seems to have lost all concept of working hours. She'll text me at 6pm to ask what I'm doing, and arrive with her 3 year old 5 minutes later. Then she'll stay til midnight, oblivious of the fact that I have to get up in 6 hours and that I've been yawning for the last 3! I need 8 hours sleep, that's just the way I am. I can't sleep in til 10am, and I have to be alert and able to do my job the next day. I've taken to pretending to busy unless it's a weekend (and even then I don't really want to stay up til midnight and be tired the next day, I'd rather get to bed on time and be up at 9am and be able to get things done).

Guess I'm turning into an old fart already!
post #41 of 58
i used to have a freind who always overstated her welcome drove me nuts,so after she had done it a couple of times i came up with a plan,when i saw it was her i used to put my coat on b4 opening the door and say sorry im just on my way out,and u know it worked after doing that a couple of times she took the hint. mind u ive had company stay late and ive just said to them "your going to have to go now as im going to bed"
post #42 of 58
im really afraid to overstay my welcome, so im always saying anytime you guys want to kick me out just say so :-)
post #43 of 58
This is soooooo funny because it just happened to me yesterday. I kept telling my husband "I can't believe she just showed up". Luckily I was not home, but she left a message on my phone saying "I'm standing outside - are you home" To make it even better it was a friend I have not seen in over 16 years!!! We have always kept intouch via email and Christmas cards. She had planned to be going through my town and told me about 6 weeks ago. Never heard anything more - well hello her she is. And she had never been to my house obviously before - she had put my address in the computer to get a map to my house. I think my mouth was open all day in shock. So basically - I do not like when people just show up. Please call. Can you imagine -if I was home - 16 yrs- I would have been not showered - hair up - no makeup - husbands shirt - you get the picture. Oh hi and how are you Great topic!
post #44 of 58
Originally Posted by ilovejoelyo
im really afraid to overstay my welcome, so im always saying anytime you guys want to kick me out just say so :-)
I do that too! I always get so paranoid, and make sure I check every so often as well. I'd also never stay at someones house past about 9.30pm unless it was a party or had been arranged that way. I'm always very aware that they may well be wanting to go to bed!
post #45 of 58
I don't mind when people drop by or if they don't call first ... it's usually just my Mom and Dad anyway!!
post #46 of 58
I would prefer a phone call. But in the summer we are usually outside so I might not hear it. Most of the relatives live a good 30 minutes away or more so I would go into "frantic mode" and quickly clean. But I don't keep much snacks or soda so I have to have time to runa dnget some. Huuby is like don't worry about that (MEN!!)
He on the other hand feels no shame drooping in on his brothers or sisters without calling!!
post #47 of 58
I like a phone call first before company comes over, I don't like when people just drop by, because I could be busy with something or get ready to go out and then you feel obligated to entertain. Sometimes I just won't answer the door.
If it was my Mom, Dad, Sister or Brother they can drop in anytime.
post #48 of 58
Wow so I'm not alone in feeling it's rude if ppl stop by without advance notice!!
Thought I was being too paranoid Luckily it doesn't happen too often cuz most of friends lives at least 30 min away. Unfortunately, my family all lives in Utah so they have never visited my home. I've visited them but my parents only came out ONCE in the last 8 years and it was for my graduation from an university.

If ppl stops by without notifying me in advance- I sometimes answer, sometimes I don't answer the door.

It depends on who and how terrible I look. One problem I have is if I look in the peephole and see a hearing friend then I freeze cuz I am not sure if they can hear me walking up to the door, if they could hear me if i move away from the door so I stand there on my tiptoes holding my breath until they leave.

If it's deaf friends then I just walk back to living room and watch tv ignoring the flashing door light (instead of doorbell, I use door lights since I can't hear)!
post #49 of 58
I also prefer a call or notice. My parents are kind of offended by this, I think. They do live over an hour away, so it's in their best interest to call. I'm not home a lot, and I tend to be busy, especially on weekends with house stuff.

I always call and find out if it's ok to stop by a friend or family member's house, so I guess I expect the same courtesy.

I think in the past, it was more acceptable to just drop in. With everyone being so busy, it makes sense to check that it's ok. Let's face it, we even have to schedule lunch with friends in advance sometimes.
post #50 of 58
I don't like ANY unexpected visitors, no matter WHO it is. atleast call me from the driveway. I have been known to just not answer the door because someone did not call first. I don't care. But my bf always visits people w/o calling and they usually don't seem to mind. But he sometimes does that thing where he says 'hey i might stop by sometime tomorrow' so at least they have some sort of warning.
post #51 of 58
I like it when people call me first. I rarely get unexpected visits. By the way, no one answered the question on how to make this into a poll. Click on "Thread Tools" at the top of the page and select, "make this into a poll" or whatever it says. You should be able to figure it out from there.
post #52 of 58
I do prefer that people call ahead but I do have about 3 close friends that I don't expect to call. There's nothing they could see catch me doing that they haven't seen before

I DO, however wish that the UPS guy would call ahead. For some reason, he always pulls up to our back door, which is a french patio door. I run around the house in my underwear ALL the time and last month, he caught me vacuuming in my undies.
post #53 of 58
Thread Starter 
Well I am glad that I'm not alone!
It's strange, though that I wouldn't mind a close friend stopping by so much as my sister..she is a neat freak & I feel obligated to have a perfectly clean apartment first.
post #54 of 58
Call first!! What happened to the vote? Maybe a mod can set that up for you if it's too late to edit.
post #55 of 58
Originally Posted by Me-n-my guys
Well I am glad that I'm not alone!
It's strange, though that I wouldn't mind a close friend stopping by so much as my sister..she is a neat freak & I feel obligated to have a perfectly clean apartment first.
Oh yes!! Family MUST call before stopping by. They know not to show up unexpectedly. My Mom especially!!!!
post #56 of 58
Originally Posted by Me-n-my guys
P.S. How do you post polls, anyway?
Go to the top of the thread, and click "Thread Tools", and then "Add Poll."
post #57 of 58
Depends on who it is and what they want. If it's family or a close friend who's just dropping by for a minute, no big deal. If it's someone I don't know as well or they want to take up a bunch of my time, I prefer a call first.
post #58 of 58
I hate it when people just drop by. Now there are exceptions to this rule, my parents are free to drop by any time they want and maybe my cousin DD other than that no thanks.
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