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some rules

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
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1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
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2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
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3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
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4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
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6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
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7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
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8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
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9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, " Johnny did this when he was two ~ I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
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10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
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> > > --Author Unknown
post #2 of 11
we guys knew this AGES ago..but you women call us slobs.

REJIOCE MEN,WE ARE VINDICATED...the women were..:paranoid3 WRONG!!!!:LOL: :laughing:

Thanks AP,we men are indebted to you for this FINE research. I am immediately printing this off and sending it to ALL my married friends.
post #3 of 11
Is this a hint
post #4 of 11
Thread Starter 
I'm hoping you'll come over and clean MY house
post #5 of 11
Funny thing, today was cleaning day. I actually used to clean houses full time and worked at Radio Shack part time. I had to quit cleaning houses when my knees started giving me problems. It was a big loss in income..but my knees are thankful, you know when I am not scrubbing here
post #6 of 11
AP That is TOO funny!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha.... I think Im gonna print that out and enlarge it....stick it on the fridge!!!! (Hubby never braves the kitchen so itll remain quite secret in there...heh heh heh)
Got any for why the washing has not been done?! :laughing:
post #7 of 11
Cleaning house is the most thankless job in the whole world!
post #8 of 11
Who was following me around my house with a tape recorder?
post #9 of 11
Bod, if your washing isn't done, it must be time to go on holiday again, huh? (D'oh...sore spot...sorry not! )

(running away quickly, hoping Bod ignoes any post with my name) Hee,hee!

KF, Yippee! I'm marching in the door tonight with this in hand. Yes, at last...VINDICATION! According to this, I'm actually a fantastic housekeeper!

Thanks, AP!

post #10 of 11
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH Bill honey you better run faster than that!!!! I have an axe and I know how to use it!!!

AP - what have you done!!! Now the men think they're right!!! :laughing:
post #11 of 11

That was great! Sandie doesn't have a problem with any of that stuff cuz she never gives the dust or dust bunnies a chance to even settle anywhere. She's what you call the Queen of Clean! .

When the dust go to be too much for my Dad, he used to write "I LOVE YOU" in it as a hint for my stepmonster to get off her @$$ and clean. She in turn would write "LOVE YOU TOO!" These little "love" messages were all over the house. To say the place was always dusty was an understatement. Ya gotta love them.
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