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Need some advice

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
This really isn't a big deal, but I'm looking for some advice. My downstairs neighbor, who's also a good friend, recently acquired some new furniture when her mother passed away. As a result, she's trying to get rid of some of her old furniture, including a secretary desk. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if I wanted it. Told her I'd think about, but that I didn't really have room. She said she thought it would look nice in the corner of my dining room. She mentioned it again last night and wanted to know when I'd be ready to move it upstairs. I thanked her and told her the same thing. She seemed really offended that I didn't want the desk. We talked about what she might be able to do with it and she said she'll ask around. Then, she asked if she could just store it my apartment while she finds someone who wants it. (There's no room in the basement because she has so much stuff down there already). I didn't really give her an answer because I honestly don't have the room, but I know she'll ask again. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
post #2 of 15
She doesn't have any relatives who would like the desk????
She must not realize NO means NO. Either she keeps it or it goes. Couldn't she sell it??
post #3 of 15
Do you have storage companies over there?. The thing is if you take it in, how long will it be there cramping up your space!.

Just tell her you havent got the room and if you do have storage companies there look one up in the yellow pages now and have the page ready to show her!.
post #4 of 15
just simply give her the answer of no i dont want it. dont give her the run around of ill think about it. just tell her no i cant use it there is no room and that you cant store it there for her.
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC
She doesn't have any relatives who would like the desk????
She must not realize NO means NO. Either she keeps it or it goes. Couldn't she sell it??
She's already tried her family members and won't sell it. I think it must have sentimental value and she wants me to take it so it will still be close by.
post #6 of 15
Sounds to me like she's ignoring your answers and simply hoping you'll be a pushover and she can force it on you. Don't let her drop it in your place by any means. Once it's in there who knows how long it'll stay. I agree with Susan about putting it into storage while she thinks of what she ultimately wants to do with it. It's terribly unfair for her to expect you to take it in when you've already made it perfectly clear you don't want it!
post #7 of 15


Maybe there are places that collect furniture to give to the less well off - we have that around here - she could give it to them! Plus, they pick it up for free!
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
[quote=neonsohc]just simply give her the answer of no i dont want it. dont give her the run around of ill think about it. just tell her no i cant use it there is no room and that you cant store it there for her.[/QUOTE

You're right! I just hate saying no to her (about anything) because she takes it so personnally, gets the sad puppy look and makes me feel guilty!
post #9 of 15
Another thing is the fact that once you start storing it for her and the weeks could go by with it still in your house, if you start asking her when she's taking it back she might start the old line of " I'll get it soon! ".
post #10 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sar


Maybe there are places that collect furniture to give to the less well off - we have that around here - she could give it to them! Plus, they pick it up for free!
Goodwill or the Salvation Army would be happy to take it. Of course, if she won't sell it she probably wouldn't be willing to give it away either.
post #11 of 15
[quote=eilcon]
Quote:
Originally Posted by neonsohc
just simply give her the answer of no i dont want it. dont give her the run around of ill think about it. just tell her no i cant use it there is no room and that you cant store it there for her.[/QUOTE

You're right! I just hate saying no to her (about anything) because she takes it so personnally, gets the sad puppy look and makes me feel guilty!
dont worry about it there is no reason to feel guilty for it.
post #12 of 15
Just let her know you really don't have room to store it either. But encourage her to talk to you a little more. Does she really want to keep this piece, and get rid of another? If it is really important to her, maybe she should keep it at least for a while longer?

And let her know you appreciate the offer. Be gentle but firm in letting her know it just won't work for you!
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks everybody. It really helps to get some objective advice. Something like this is pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things but it's also the kind of thing that can get awkward, so I really do appreciate your input!
post #14 of 15
Lots of good advice. It does sound as if she has a soft spot for the piece, doesn't have room for it, wants to "keep it in the family", and therefore can't hear "no". Well, it's not your responsibility, and there's no need for you to accept it. For sure, if you take the desk in, it's yours -- probably for good -- because she'll convince herself that you just love the thing so much that she couldn't deprive you of it. Nope. If you're not absolutely sure that you DO want it, you need to say no. By all means, thank her for the opportunity, and offer what assistance you reasonably can to help her get it out of her hair, as long as that doesn't include it crossing your threshold. Good luck.
post #15 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilcon
She's already tried her family members and won't sell it. I think it must have sentimental value and she wants me to take it so it will still be close by.
In that case, let me take a stab at the Miss Manners or Ann Landers approach:

"I'm so flattered that you would consider giving me such a fine piece of furniture that obviously means so much to your family. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no room in my apartment for this piece, and it doesn't really go with my current decor. Since it is so dear to you, perhaps I can come up some afternoon and help you find a fitting location for it in your flat that would properly showcase its (lines, woodwork, craftsmanship)??"

If she doesn't take the hint, you'll need to just give her a FIRM no and avoid her for a few days.
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