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Kitten won't share

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I have a litter of 5, whenever one of them is playing with a toy Spalding the biggest boy takes the toy away, runs into the corner and lays on it. He hisses and swats at any kitty that comes near him, he even hisses at me though obviously he is waaaay to small to do any damage to me lol

He tries to do the same thing when I'm playing with a fishing type toy with them but can't take off with it cos it's attached to me

There are more than enough toys to go around so there's no reason for his behaviour.
I guess my question is what should I do about this? I always give Spalding a firm no, before I return the toy to it's rightful owner, doesn't seem to be doing any good though.
post #2 of 15
Well, this concept of toys having a "rightful owner" when it comes to cats is pretty funny. Sorry, but cats don't recognize the concept. Anything is fair game to a cat. It's the predator instinct. As for the little guy who monopolizes the toys, yes there is a reason for his behavior: he wants to be the dominant cat. Don't worry about it, it's all perfectly normal behavior. Don't try to impose human concepts on the kittens. They'll just be confused.
post #3 of 15
My adult Sam is the dominant. When I just have Bailey here, it all works out well. He decides what she is allowed to play with. However, when I was looking after my cousin's cat, he got all huffy and bossy. He took all of the toys, put them on top of "his" turbo scratcher, and then lay on top of them, making sure everything was tucked underneath so nobody else could get them.

It's just natural kitten play.
post #4 of 15
Your kitten is Alpha and you confiscating his toy is going to make him turn his aggression onto you pretty soon. Let him have the spoils of the game all by himself, if he runs with a toy, get another and engage the litter into play with that toy. Make sure he gets his food bowl seconds before the others get theirs, and look for him to challenge anyone wanting to take away his alpha standing, even you. Telling him no, is a bit over the top- he is alpha, this is what the alpha's do. Outside in life, he would be the one controlling and making sure the colony stays safe. Don't punish him for being a cat and acting on instinct-
post #5 of 15
I totally agree with the previous posts. It's not like kids, where they need to share. Cats are just different.

That said, my little Smartie got whacked recently by her Momma. I had given them some new toys, and Smartie was enthralled with a soft ball with feathers attached. She happened to be next to her Momma's tail, wrestling with the feather ball and growling. Well, Sugartoes (the Momma) evidently thought that was poor behavior, maybe she thought Smartie was growling at her? Anyhow, Sugartoes sat up and whacked Smartie a good one. Smartie just kept wrestling and growling. Sugartoes growled back, hissed right in her face, and then walked away. I think Smartie got the message.

So as long as your babies are with their Momma, she will set limits when needed. If there isn't a Momma, honestly, I think Spalding will be the one teaching the others to behave!

Sugartoes.


Smartie at 3 weeks.


She is 7 weeks old now. This is Smartie hiding behind the cage!
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the replies, I do realise they don't think like humans lol I just thought that Spalding shouldn't always get his own way.
I have tried entertaining the litter with another toy but he just comes and takes that too. Right now he's in the corner with 8 toys and the rest have nothing.

Guess I'll just leave him be
post #7 of 15
I understand that its really hard to watch. As humans, we have the programmed "root for the underdog" mentality that allows our hearts to break a little when we see someone being treated unfairly...

Its very hard for me to watch my newest addition Rocky strut across the room when I am playing with the interactive fishing toy with Lovey.
Rocky comes in with big killer instincts, takes the toy right out of the air and has it all to himself.

Lovey moves away and just watches from then on.

If Rocky leaves the toy for a second, I attempt to engage Lovey again in a game by holding it over him, but it seems Lovey has learned to not play when Rocky has claimed the toy (or might come up any second and again take it from him).
Lovey seems to look resigned to this even though I may not be..
But as the others have said, this is their way of dealing with things and its a much happier household than if I began to confuse them with my own "order of things".

What I do try and do is give Lovey some one on one when Rocky is having his regular nap under my bed during the day..It gives us some bonding and still makes him feel special.

They know better than we do what it's all about
post #8 of 15
Do Cats do this with people too?

I have a foster cat right now who is very loving and affectionate. I also have 2 other cats. (All female, spayed) My cats are both about 1 year old and the foster is around 2 and may have recently been pregnant/had kittens. The foster loves to sit next to me whereever I am and get cuddles and belly rubs. My cats are more independant but they do enjoy the occasional cuddle. Whenever I try to pay attention to either of my cats the foster tries to intervene or get in the way. I'm trying to make sure they all get some lovin and some playtime, but my oldest cat Shinobi is really unhappy about my foster's presence. She swats at Twilight whenever she gets nearby, and has started growling at me and my boyfriend on occasion. I'm trying to find Twilight a forever home, the shelters are so overcrowded and no one is adopting. :-( I tried keeping them separate, but to say that was a dismal failure is putting it mildly. Is there anything I can do to ease everyone's stress?
post #9 of 15
Yes, I think they do it with their people, too. I know Tommy likes to "mark" me first thing in the morning and when I come back from being out, and Tommy likes to think he's the dominant cat, so I supposed he's putting his claim on me as "his"
post #10 of 15
Yes, I agree. From what I have read, our roles to cats can be many things.
We can be "property" to them as when they mark us with their cheeks, paws, back, etc..
We can be "parents" as in when they knead us when we lay down or sit down
and we can be their "kids" as in when they bring us fresh live or dead "presents" .



Mine mark me as theirs all the time and get pushy with each other when one of them has to share my time...
post #11 of 15
You're right on there, kiddo!! Excellent description!!
post #12 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymotus
Thanks for all the replies, I do realise they don't think like humans lol I just thought that Spalding shouldn't always get his own way.
I have tried entertaining the litter with another toy but he just comes and takes that too. Right now he's in the corner with 8 toys and the rest have nothing.

Guess I'll just leave him be

LOL! Boy is he Alpha or what! I would get another toy, take the kittens into another room, close the door and play with them while he jealously guards his 8 trophies in the other room- LOL
post #13 of 15
Hobbes does the same thing whenever you give him a foil ball. I gave him one as a kitten (because I know what an AWESOME toy that can be for a cat), and he got downright MEAN to his sister, when he's normally VERY loving and sweet to her, no matter what the toy!! They've always been very good about sharing, and played very fair, so it was weird for me to see him flat out almost attacking her, hissing and growling at her (in anger, mind you) whenever he had this toy! The only other time I've heard him do this was when we had to stay at a friend's, and she bought them some of those furry mice...now that was something!

Needless to say, we always know if Hobbes has found some sort of foil something...because it is the ONLY time we ever hear a kitty growl around here. We've obstained from giving them either type of toy...you should see how sad Sunny gets, hearing her brother react to her like that! Poor thing...LOL!!

Anyway, I would say, try different toys...find one that he doesn't want to play with, and take away the ones that he's being so dang protective of. I know it might seem cruel, since he likes them so much, but at the same time, it's not worth your other kitties going through the stress of living with a one of them being like that.

Hope that helps!
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
LOL! Boy is he Alpha or what! I would get another toy, take the kittens into another room, close the door and play with them while he jealously guards his 8 trophies in the other room- LOL
Hissy, we were not gone 30 seconds in another room, when Spalding was putting his paws under the door LOL

Baker the only other male of the litter was slowly started to challenge the hoarding this afternoon, maybe the 3 girls will too.
Baker was the nipple bully so it's interesting that now he's 2nd in charge.

It sure will be interesting as they grow up and challenge daddy to be alpha
post #15 of 15
Finn is the same way with his little mice, he carries them around in his mouth and growls. It does not matter if Darci is in the other room, he does not want anyone to take his mouse. There are six of them and he gets upset if Darci touches any of them. By reading the above advice I have not been a good mom because I make him share all the time.

I would have guessed she was alpha because he wait for her lead a lot of the time and follows her. He is such a big boy though I can hear him coming all the up the stairs purring really loud cause he knows he is going to jump on me and get some affection. They are still only 12 weeks wow how they have grown!
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