Am I over-reacting?

malakai711

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Most of you know the situation between me and my father... How he was physically abusive and kicked me out of my house when he met Adrian... I haven't spoken to him since the end of April when I left and moved in with Adrian and his family... Well, I left Adrian's house about a month ago and moved in with my mother's sister in Long Island... I've been working and trying to find a better job so I can move back to the Bronx in October when my mother moves back up from Florida... I told my aunt when I moved in with her last month, not to tell my father where I was because I didn't want him to know anything about what I was doing... Basically, I feel if he's going to be abusive and throw me out then he doesnt need to know anything about my life...

Well, I found out from my uncle that she's been talking to him the whole time I've been here and that the only reason she brought me out here to live in the first place is because he asked her to so he could keep me away from Adrian... So, needless to say, I'm very angry with her and I feel like I'm still be controlled even now that I'm out of his house... In addition to that, I was speaking to my aunt last night and I told her that my phone bill is paid off and I have to send some money to my credit card because I havent had the money to send them in months... She proceeds to tell me that my father called her yesterday morning and left her a message that he sent $850 to my credit card and that now I can owe it to him... Im so angry about this!!!
He had NO RIGHT to send them money and expect that I would pay him back... I didn't ask for him to pay the bill and I know that he's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart... He's only doing it so that I have a reason to call him so that he wont answer me anyway... or so that he has some control over me by continuing to pay my bills... The other reason being that he is scared that my mother and I will take him to court because he owes her almost $30,000 in back child support and according to my parents divorce agreement he is responsible for my school loans which he conveniently had put in my name... He knows that we're planning on taking him to court and he's trying to cover his own butt!! Ugh! I'm so angry!
 

scamperfarms

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He could be trying to help but from the sounds of it hes not. I dontr think your over reacting at all
 

ugaimes

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Liza, I have a client on her way in now, but I'll send you a PM soon about this. I am so sorry he's being this way. We'll talk soon.
 

talon

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Unless he has a verbal or written agreement that you have agreed to pay him back - it is a gift. (According to Judge Judy anway!)

No, I do not think you are overreacting.
 

journey

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I don't know anything about this situation so i won't comment on it, but I just wanted to say i do NOT think you are overreacting.

Also, Talon and Judge Judy are right! You should write/call him and say, thanks for the $850 gift, bye!


I just have to say though, men act in wierd ways when they are afraid. My mom got cancer when i was 14, and from 14 to 18 years old, my father terrorized me, and took all his sadness/frustration/anger about my mother on me. i see it now, but it didn't help back then!
 

yosemite

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Originally Posted by Talon

Unless he has a verbal or written agreement that you have agreed to pay him back - it is a gift. (According to Judge Judy anway!)

No, I do not think you are overreacting.
I totally agree that unless you asked him to borrow the money or pay the bill, that he did it totally voluntarily and you owe him NOTHING. I would even go so far as to send a thank you note saying words to that effect, i.e., Even though I never asked you for financial help, it was nice of you to pay my credit card debt. Thank you for the wonderful gift.

That will also cover your butt that you never asked for the money.

I would also express to your aunt that you appreciate being able to stay with her until your mom comes but you are disappointed that she didn't respect your wishes to not communicate your whereabouts with your father. Be very adult and respectful while telling her this.

Then I would make sure I did not share any personal information with her any more. She'll get the message.
 
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malakai711

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LoL Yeah, I said the same thing... According to Judge Judy it was a gift because I never asked for it... He's definately trying to cover his butt for when my mother and I take him to court... He's giving himself the opportunity to say "well, I did this for her and I did that for her..." What he doesnt realize is that none of the things that he did, which, believe me, I do appreciate, give him the justification to ignore the court order...

The other problem I have right now is that my aunt doesnt know my mom is coming back up... I haven't told her because I dont want my father to know that my mom is moving back and I know that she'll open her mouth like she's done already...
 

yosemite

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If this aunt is your MOM's sister, why is she telling your father all this stuff? Whose side is she on?
 
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malakai711

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Originally Posted by jcat

Could it be that your father and aunt share some of the concerns expressed in this thread: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=54155 ?
No, actually, when this all started Adrian and I were ONLY friends... and I didn't have feelings for him... Either way, even if my father was worried that I might get hurt by him that was NOOOO reason to beat me up and throw me out of my house... And, it had nothing to do with whether or not I might get hurt.. it had to do with the fact that Adrian is Cuban and my father is a RACIST!

Originally Posted by Yosemite

If this aunt is your MOM's sister, why is she telling your father all this stuff? Whose side is she on?
This is my mother's sister... and according to my uncle she's talking to him "to keep the peace"... Which makes no sense, because there is no peace to keep... She has no reason to even talk to him in the first place... but she is gullible and impressionable and believes that he is right for what he did...
 
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