I do hereby resolve, throughout the course of the coming year, to defer all thought of resolutions until one year from this date.
P.S.: Okay, I'm sorry. I know I should be good and come up with some resolutions. Well, maybe one resolution (apart from the one above). But I can't! I'm not
going to give up smoking. I'm not
going to join a gymnasium. I'm not
going to be nice to anyone. No, wait. That's not right! Okay, I will
be nice to as many people as possible â€” which means if somebody is a jerk I won't have to be nice to them. Well, I mean if they're just a tiny bit of a jerk maybe I'll be nice; but if they're majorly jerky I reserve the right to be a jerk too. Somehow that doesn't sound right, either. Well, I'll think on these weighty matters and get back to you.