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Being punctual - Page 2

post #31 of 45
Originally Posted by Yosemite
I have to disagree about the arrogance. My husband is the LEAST arrogant person I know and he is ALWAYS late. Not for work but for everything else.

If I want to be somewhere at 10, I have to tell him we need to be there by 9:30. He always UNDERestimates the time he needs to get ready. I used to have a shower, bath the baby, get both me and the baby ready and still be waiting for him.

He says it only takes him 10 minutes to shower - NOT. He is very respectful of people so it's not lack of respect either. It's just the way he is AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY and has been for the 28 years we've been married. I HATE being late and I get stressed, but I've come to realize he is who he is and I just sit quietly and wait for him and try to remain calm and unstressed. Our friends all know him so we all tell him to be there 1/2 hour earlier than they really want him! If he ever catches on to this, then I'm stumped as to what to do next.
This describes my situation exactly! My husband just does not have a good grasp on how long it takes to get ready, get somewhere, find parking, etc. It completely stresses me out because I'm always punctual and I think it's rude to keep someone waiting. However, I'm learning to deal with it and if it's important I just tell him we need to be somewhere 20-40 minutes earlier than we actually do.
post #32 of 45
Rob is much the same. Certainly not arrogant or disrespectful, but nonetheless he has an exceedingly feline sense of time -- as does his whole family, so he comes by it honestly -- and like Yosemite and Joanne511, I've developed my own coping mechanisms for getting us where we need to be, on time -- sometimes by the skin of our teeth, but on time.
post #33 of 45
I think that a lot of people that are chronically early OR chronically late aren't doing it to be rude or inconsiderate, they just have a different sense of time. Not everyone runs by the clock. They just do things in the order they have to be done, and they get to the next thing when they get to it.

On the other hand, I'm one who is generally on time. Not early, not late. And I think that's because I've had a couple jobs where I had to work to the clock and so learned to pace myself according to it. And it just carried over into my personal life. I think being on time -- neither early nor late -- is the best way to be, but it's not something that comes naturally. It's something you have to learn to do, and that takes practice.
post #34 of 45
This discussion is not about people showing up at someones home early.
It is about leaving someone waiting at an agreed upon location & time.
If it is a one time thing & you have a valid reason for being late...OK.
If it is a chronic problem... trust me, the time spent waiting becomes a big turnoff.
What do you think the person who is waiting is doing? Having a great time waiting for you? I don't think so.
Don't be surprised if your "waiting friend" becomes unavilable when you want to do somthing next time.

The husband & wife thing, about waiting for the other to get ready to go out, has been fodder for many great comedians...
I'll leave it alone
post #35 of 45
My partner says things like, 'we need to leave at seven'. So I get ready to leave at seven. He starts getting ready at seven. This is really annoying. I realise that not everyone here feels that time-keeping is important, but to me, lateness implies a lack of consideration, maybe even a feeling that the other person doesn't really matter that much? Sort of, oh well, it doesn't matter if I'm late, so-and-so hasn't got anything better to do. It's almost as rude as calling someone an ass-kisser (this may not be as offensive in USA as it is here).
post #36 of 45
Honestly I can only think of a few thing that are more disrespectful that one person can do to another person than being late when you agree to meet somewhere. And yes I am always early or on time, and I always call and let people know when I am on my way if we are going to meet at their house. It's common curtiousy.

The way I see it if someone is repeated late, it tells me that one of two things is going on. Either they respect me enough to be on time, and therefor I will stop making plans with them. The only other option they just don't care enough to make the effort to be on time, which is also disrespectful. How difficult is it to look at a clock and say, hey it take me fifteen minutes to get ready and fifteen minutes to get where I'm going, look the clock say I have half an hour maybe I should start getting ready? And I'm not talking about people being a few minutes late, but 10-15-20 minutes? That's just rude and if I was meeting you somewhere and you hadn't called with an explanation you'd show up and I'd be gone.
post #37 of 45
Personally, I hate it when people are late. Who wants to wait around, wasting time. I could be doing other things more usful with my time than waiting around for someone who is late. I can tolerate 15 minutes late, but after that, I start getting angry. I have a sister who tends to be late for EVERYTHING. I've gotten in the habit of telling her a meeting time of 45 to 60 minutes earlier than we are supposed to meet. I'll get there on time, and she'll stil get there later than I do.

I'm usually always either on time or early for things, myself. I also HATE it when people come in to work habitually late.

I think lateness is a form of disrespect towards other people, and I don't like being disrespected.
post #38 of 45
I have to admit that I am pretty similar to Yosemite's husband! I rather underestimate times and have never been a good time keeper! (probably coming from a very time keeping family, with clocks five minutes fast! )

I am also a little on the disorganised and dizzy side (takes a few attempts to leave the house), but I try my best to get to places on time! I mean really try!

*ducks and covers*
post #39 of 45
I used to be fanatical about being early

I still tend to usually be on time, although if I've got a window, like "show up between 7.30 and 8", it'll usually be closer to 8 than before 7.30!

When I have too many things going on at once, then I tend to be late for everything
post #40 of 45
Ah, the impatience of youth! As we get "longer in the tooth", (speaking personally of course), importance is placed on different areas of our lives. I'd rather have my tardy husband, who is kind, gentle, liked by everyone he meets, a great father and dearly loved by his daughter and who spends quality time and does lots of things with her, a true and caring husband, kind and loving to our cats and every other living being and very respectful of others' feelings, than 100 other guys, who are on time, but don't have many of the qualities my honey has. We once knew a fellow (macho kind of fellow that liked all the ladies to notice him) that seemed to take great pleasure in constantly making little derogatory remarks about my husband, his tardiness or what he was wearing, or the way he loved pastries (he's 6' and 175 lbs at 52 yrs. of age and looking good!) until one night I had enough and in front of everyone stopped him and told him I wouldn't trade one of my husband for dozens like him. He never put John down again in my presence.

So, yes he's pretty much always late, yes, it drives me crazy, but our true friends and family love him for the man he is inside and accept him even with this one flaw.
post #41 of 45
Thread Starter 
Echoing Yosemite's opinion, and as I have stated previously, one bad habit or fault does in no way define a person, but unfortunately, we judge a person on the situation at hand, and are often not willing to do a complete inventory of the person's qualities v faults to reach a "balance sheet" to determine the net "worth" of the person, so despite many endearing qualities, if you are waiting on a person and the person is wasting your time by being late, then a slow burn is in order.

Personally, I handle it by being on time (not overly early), giving the person 5 minutes, and then leaving, and I will make no apologies for it.

For what it's worth, my friends have learned this and quip about it, and they are rarely late with me, but still do it to others, so I can only surmise that "fighting back" works.

So all I can say, is that if you are going somewhere with me, be on time or be alone.

post #42 of 45
Originally Posted by winwin
So all I can say, is that if you are going somewhere with me, be on time or be alone.
I admire your conviction!
Although I expect people to be as punctual as I am, I have exemptions. Special and close friends, beloved family members and even a new love are always forgiven whenever they're late.
post #43 of 45
Originally Posted by yayi
I admire your conviction!
Although I expect people to be as punctual as I am, I have exemptions. Special and close friends, beloved family members and even a new love are always forgiven whenever they're late.
Ah, yes. Some folks are just worth waiting for aren't they!
post #44 of 45
Originally Posted by yayi
I admire your conviction!
Although I expect people to be as punctual as I am, I have exemptions. Special and close friends, beloved family members and even a new love are always forgiven whenever they're late.
New loves are the worst for me! If I've just started seeing someone and they can't even be bothered to turn up on time to meet me, then it really puts a huge dampener on the whole thing!
post #45 of 45
Everything depends on the situation. Sometimes a previous work related engagement runs too long so one could be late to an appointment with a friend since it would be impossible to just up and leave.

As for arriving on work on time. I feel that as long as the person does the work it does not matter the time they come in because there are many times where the person may have worked until 5 in the morning.
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