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Being punctual

post #1 of 45
7/2/05 at 5:42am
Thread Starter 
It really bothers me a lot that people can't be on time and are consistently late and seem to expect others to wait on them and not say anything about it.

When I am to meet someone, I make sure they know the location, and then I ask them, "When do you want to meet," and they will start waffling, asking for as large a window of time as possible.

I finally tell them, "If you aren't there by 7:00 (or whatever) I will assume you arent coming and I will go ahead" and they get mad because I will not wait until 7:30, and then I say, "OK, if you aren't there by 7:30 I will assume you aren't coming and I will go ahead," and they still want me to wait until they decide to show.

It has taken years, and a few friendships, but now my friends know, and even joke about it, "Boy, Old Leonard will go off and leave you if you aren't on time!", and you know, I really don't care if they get upset, because being on time is so easy to do, all you have to do is to do it.

With cell phones and radios and other forms of communication, you would think that someone could call and say, "I'm in a wreck", or "My hippo died", or whatever, but they aren't even that considerate, they just expect the world to wait on THEM, and I figure that since I am always on time, they should be, also.

If I am to meet someone at a location I am not sure of, I will often do a "dry run" before hand to check the distance, time, etc involved, and if a "dry run" is impractical for whatever reason, then I leave early enough to be sure I am there on time and I take a book with me to read while I wait.

I really have a problem accepting that my friends will not accord me the same courtesy of being punctual that I pay them.

Now, where can I put this soapbox, 'cause I will likely be needing it again soon . . .

Leonard
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post #2 of 45
7/2/05 at 5:51am
Leonard,

I agree. I hate being late for anything, I will often be early intead. And I really don't like it when people are late. They guys that work for me now know that when I call a meeting a 10 AM, I mean 10AM - not 10:10 AM.
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post #3 of 45
7/2/05 at 5:53am
Leonard, I'm so with you on this one! It drives me insane when people can't show up on time! I hate waiting for people. And it always seems to be me that's doing the waiting, as I make every effort to be there on time. Heck, I travel by bus everywhere as I don't have a car, and I still manage to get to places on time!! Yet others can't seem to do the same. Argghhh!!!

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post #4 of 45
7/2/05 at 6:36am
Thank goodness I am not the only one who hates lateness. I tend to be early - and this is out of politeness and respect to other people. Jake tends to take his time and this frustrates the heck out of me, I just don't like to inconvenience people.
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post #5 of 45
7/2/05 at 6:46am
I am always early. At work, we are allowed 14 tardies, within 3 months, before being terminated. In two years, I have NONE. Several of my coworkers are right on the edge of being fired, due to excessive tardies and absences.

I like to get in a bit early, in order to bring up my systems, fill my water bottle and have a few minutes to smoke a cigarette and chat.
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post #6 of 45
7/2/05 at 9:25am
I'm with you guys. I HATE being late and always leave in plenty of time. I think it's because my mom is someone who is always off schedule. She's one of those people who just don't allow enough time for their activities, so get behind. My boyfriend is the same way. Drives me nuts. Do any of you have a mum or dad that was chronically late? It might explain why it bugs you as much as it does....?
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post #7 of 45
7/2/05 at 10:59am
I'm another one who gets really peeved when people are always late. It's extremely inconsiderate, and I won't wait more than 5 or 10 minutes. I'm somebody who's always early, too.
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post #8 of 45
7/2/05 at 1:15pm
Here, the culture is that people are always late to meetings and early to social occasions! Now, when I arrange something, I always say 'Is that Bosnian time or MY time?' and they know what I mean. Otherwise you get people an hour late for an appointment, and arriving at your house for dinner before you have your make-up on.
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post #9 of 45
7/2/05 at 1:27pm
I usually end up coming early to an appt. and get really angry that I have to wait. I have walked away from things when the people are late, and even left my would-be husband once because he was 15 minutes late.
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post #10 of 45
7/2/05 at 2:28pm
'nother early bird here. I'm so punctual, I was even born a day earlier than expected
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post #11 of 45
7/2/05 at 3:45pm
I was late to class a lot last semester because it seemed that no matter what time I left something always happened. They kept closing down the highway that I use and using different routes, etc. or it had rained a lot and the two highways I can use were both flooded over. Or there was a snowdrift and the road was impassable. I have a 50 minute commute to class while living where I do now and I will have a two hour commute starting in August. I always felt horrible about being late- but heck, I could give myself an hour and a half or more and still somehow manage to be late by 5 or ten minutes. At least next semester I don't have anything to do before class and I could leave three hours early if need be.

I'm never late for anything else though. There's nothing I hate worse than sitting in a restaurant waiting 20 minutes for someone. I always feel bad for my guests because probably 30% of them have to wait 15 minutes or more for the rest of their party to show up. That is just plain rude.
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post #12 of 45
7/2/05 at 3:49pm
I agree, there's a sort of arrogance to people who are always late. I note that all the people who I know who run late aren't very considerate types.

I used to run late during my flakey young years, now I am always early.
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post #13 of 45
7/2/05 at 9:57pm
My parents are quite funny. My dad is always 15-30 minutes early, my mom 15-60 minutes late (when we are going shopping or whatever, not to work) When they go anywhere together, they arive on the dot, I guess they even each other out.

Me I am usually on time (give or take 3 miutes). The funny thing about around here is that time is pretty relative. It isnt a big deal if you are not on time. I have heard its a southern thing. My mom's side of the family who lives by mississippi and louisanna are always about half an hour late. If they say one they will be there at 130. I guess its just more laid back down there.
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post #14 of 45
7/2/05 at 10:40pm
Well, it's good to know that others would consider me an inconsiderate person but I guess I'm inconsiderate enough to not really care about their consideration.

Personally, I think being early is overrated and I don't like keeners/ass kissers. I think when people haughtily glare down their nose at me when I'm late for meetings is just a way to attempt a show of feigned superiority. I'm often late, and really don't see the big deal if I slip in discreetly a few minutes late, for work or play. Likewise, if someone else is late, I completely understand and am flexible enough to accomodate them. In addition, I'm the type who likes to linger after a meeting and really prefer not to set my life by a clock.

I say... read a magazine or play with your cell phone while you're waiting and take a chill pill. If time is an issue, then use the waiting time to do something constructive instead of making assumptions and passing judgments.
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post #15 of 45
7/3/05 at 1:02am
Well, I am punctual all the time but in the Philippines this is rare. Filipinos are always late unless you threaten them to be early or else. I don't know why it's like that. It must be part of their easygoing, laid back, happy character.
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post #16 of 45
7/3/05 at 1:19am
I tend to be punctual. That is, there are times when being late is likely to have consequences for other people, or put something in jeopardy, or show a lack of courtesy. At those times, I make a particular effort to be punctual. At other times, when time is not so critical, I still try, but worry less about it. At all times, if I am expected at a given time, and am delayed, I phone. The person expecting me has a right to know what's up -- so that they can use the time productively, and so that they are not put to unnecessary worry. That's a courtesy thing. And as a rule, I don't get my knickers in a twist about people being late, either, so long as I know what's happening.
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post #17 of 45
7/3/05 at 1:49am
I can't stand when people are late! Big Pet Peeve of mine.

I always make a point to be on time and am usually a little bit early. If I know I may be late, I get in a bad mood.
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post #18 of 45
7/3/05 at 6:42am
I would rather be an hour early that a minute late! I don't mind someone being a few minutes late for a social appointment. Actually, I have more like just gotten used to it. I don't think I know anyone that owns a watch.
I absolutely hate it when people are late for business or salon appointments. I constantly have people arrive late for massage appointments, then get mad if they do not get the full hour. If I do not have anyone after them, or if they are not having another sevice, I will usually give them the full hour if they acknowledge that they were late, but the ones that breeze in acting all snotty and expect us to like it, get what they get. If I give someone that is late a full hour, it can throw the whole salon off schedule.
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post #19 of 45
7/3/05 at 7:14am
It really bugs me when people are late If i say i'm going to be somewhere at a certain time, i'll be there on the dot if not a few minutes earlier.

My next door neighbour is terrible for being late. If we plan to meet up with some friends she'll still be dragging her heels, but what annoys me is that she's been home all day to get ready?!
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post #20 of 45
7/3/05 at 9:11am
Whan a person is late...they are showing a lack of respect for the other person. They are stealing precious time from that persons life.

I am always early ... even to dental appointments.
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post #21 of 45
7/3/05 at 6:26pm
Another thing I hate at work- if you are late and your friend has already been sat at a table you are causing me to lose money!! I could have had another party sat at the same table, but no! You must be late! Then I have to wait another two hours before I can have that table sat again. I just hate that Serving that table is rarely worth it. Being late by a few minutes or something isn't a big deal- but being late by a half hour is one of the most inconsiderate things people can do. I wish I could charge them for taking up space!

That is my rant for today
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post #22 of 45
7/3/05 at 6:59pm
I don't know, this doesn't bother me as much as it once did. I have 2 friends (a couple) that are always about 30 min late. Yet, they are the first to be at my side when I've been clinically depressed and helped me more than most of my family ever has for weeks at a time. I sure can't put a price on that. Their lateness is their only fault, so in the grand scheme of things, their lateness is a drop in the ocean. They just had a baby, so I expect their lateness will worsen..LOL But I don't care, their love and friendship is priceless to me. Late, smate, they put up with my faults as well.
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post #23 of 45
7/4/05 at 1:53am
This is one of my pet peevs as well. I'm usually early, and if I say I'll pick someone up at 12, I'll be there at 12. I just don't see what is so difficult about being ready or arriving at a certain time, and I agree that it shows a lack of respect and courtesy to be late for no other reason than lack of planning.

I also do the 'dry run' thing too. If I have an interview or appointment I'll drive there the day before to see how long it takes, then add 15 mintues of 'just in case' time. I get to work 15 minutues early so that I have time to make a coffee and check my email. I think I've been late once in 2 years, and that was due to an horrendous traffic accident (not me, but the tailbacks where awful).
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post #24 of 45
7/4/05 at 2:47am
I am also very puntual and HATE it when people are late.

If I have plans to meet someone at 11:00 and by 11:15 they have not arrived or phoned - I leave.

I live by the philosophy- "To be on time is to be 9 minutes early"

Juli
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post #25 of 45
7/4/05 at 2:57am
i dont see the point of being deliberatly early. dont you get annoyed when you STILL have to wait for the person to arrive? If you get there 15 minutes early you have to wait atleast 15 mins already no matter what time they get there.

being early is as rude as being late imo. if someone showed up at my house 15mins early i would probably still be in a state of undress! i run a very close schedule.
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post #26 of 45
7/4/05 at 5:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
i dont see the point of being deliberatly early. dont you get annoyed when you STILL have to wait for the person to arrive? If you get there 15 minutes early you have to wait atleast 15 mins already no matter what time they get there.
Not really - They might actually be on time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maverick_kitten
being early is as rude as being late imo. if someone showed up at my house 15mins early i would probably still be in a state of undress! i run a very close schedule.
I agree with you in that case. It's different depending on the location where you are meeting someone. I would be exactly (or as close as possible ) on time if I was going to someone house, but at a third party location I would be early. It's disrepectful to keep someone constantly waiting.

Juli
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post #27 of 45
7/4/05 at 6:26am
Thread Starter 
Vespacat,

I think you can see from the majority of the posts what others think of lateness, and for you to impugn the worth and character of those who are considerate enough to be punctual in an attempt to justify your own behavior is inexcusable.
While Mom made a very valid point that a single flaw does not define a person, and such being the case Vespacat, you likely have many redeeming qualities, so wouldn't it be nice to add to this list rather than glorying in your short areas ?

Leonard
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post #28 of 45
7/4/05 at 7:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marge
I agree, there's a sort of arrogance to people who are always late. I note that all the people who I know who run late aren't very considerate types.

I used to run late during my flakey young years, now I am always early.
I have to disagree about the arrogance. My husband is the LEAST arrogant person I know and he is ALWAYS late. Not for work but for everything else.

If I want to be somewhere at 10, I have to tell him we need to be there by 9:30. He always UNDERestimates the time he needs to get ready. I used to have a shower, bath the baby, get both me and the baby ready and still be waiting for him.

He says it only takes him 10 minutes to shower - NOT. He is very respectful of people so it's not lack of respect either. It's just the way he is AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY and has been for the 28 years we've been married. I HATE being late and I get stressed, but I've come to realize he is who he is and I just sit quietly and wait for him and try to remain calm and unstressed. Our friends all know him so we all tell him to be there 1/2 hour earlier than they really want him! If he ever catches on to this, then I'm stumped as to what to do next.
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post #29 of 45
7/4/05 at 8:43am
I am either 15 minutes early or 10 minutes late... it depends on life that day.... I do call if over 15 monutes late...
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post #30 of 45
7/4/05 at 2:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by winwin
Vespacat,

I think you can see from the majority of the posts what others think of lateness, and for you to impugn the worth and character of those who are considerate enough to be punctual in an attempt to justify your own behavior is inexcusable.
While Mom made a very valid point that a single flaw does not define a person, and such being the case Vespacat, you likely have many redeeming qualities, so wouldn't it be nice to add to this list rather than glorying in your short areas ?

Leonard
Just because I hold an unpopular opinion and refuse to go along with the status quo does not mean that my view is any less valuable or accurate.

As others have mentioned, they find it rude when people are early. Perhaps others hold different views with respect to time. Simply because you, and possibly even the vast majority of people here may hold this opinion, doesn't make it a truth. There are many angles from which you can view the value of time. Time is fluid and is viewed from an individual level, often in shades of grey rather than in black and white terms. Consequentially, it's a purely subjective matter.

While it may be a personal virtue to some, being on time for every event imaginable doesn't make someone less of an ass than they already are.
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