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good morning everyone

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 

it's about 7:05 a.m. here, coffee time and i am just getting ready for work, i work at home due to an illness, and i write for a living (which is what i love) what do all of you do ? or want/wish to be doing ?

i'm currently trying to finish a book about my life, its written in prose, making it (hopefully) a little unique in its style. we'll see, i suppose. this is my first book, but i've been writing since i can remember.

i'd also like to dance, or teach dance at one point, (perhaps when i'm over my illness), or yoga

i'd also like to do what so many of you do, which is to rescue cats/dogs, and one day, hopefully have the funds to open a life shelter (or, thats what i call them, a no-kill animal shelter). i think i was talking about this earlier with hissy.

so, what are your days like ? and good morning
post #2 of 27
But my charges have 4 feet not 2. I love to write, am working on a children's book in rhyme and a series of short stories teaching older kids to respect and love animals. I also do scrimshaw- which is scratching a design on ivory (in my case mycarta- fake ivory) and inking in the design. I seem to be specializing in people's pets. My husband and I also make custom knives- he makes beautiful kitchen sets- and recently, we have begun to make pocket knives. I worked in advertising 10 years before I married him, and though sometimes I go nuts staying home, I really don't want to enter that high-stress profession ever again!
post #3 of 27
Thread Starter 
am working on a children's book in rhyme and a series of short stories teaching older kids to respect and love animals.

i think thats highly important, it seems to me, that so many children disrespect and abuse animals, i dont think they comprehend that its wrong and it hurts the animals, physically, and pyshcologicaly - you'll notice such a huge difference in kitten/cats behaviour if they are mistreated by children/adults (obviously) but, its heartbreaking to see, especially when the parents dont say anything, i dont get that

and though sometimes I go nuts staying home, I really don't want to enter that high-stress profession ever again!

i havent been out in the work force much in my time, so far, and i'd like to keep it that way as it's just not my thing either. i'd much rather be at home with my computer, and cats, and roomate, then out at a job i cant stand. i get out a lot anyway, when i'm up to it. although, i have my days where i need to drive away from my house for a few hours, just to get away !!! listen to music in my car, and drive.
post #4 of 27
I would LOVE to stay home everyday, but I know I wouldn't get any work done. I am actually home right now because they were installing new windows in my office and the solvent smell was making me dizzy and giving me a headache. Now I have to try and work and not be tempted by the boxes of girl scout cookies in the cupboard. I actually really like my job, just not getting up in the morning. I work for an environmental consulting firm (a chemical engineer). My fiance and I made a "deal" when we got engaged. Either he stays home with the kids (that we don't have yet) or we both have jobs where we can work at home at least 2 days a week. Right now, we both could do that if necessary, but kids are not in our future any time soon (we are only 24). How do you motivate yourself to get up everyday and get your stuff done? (I have a feeling that you will say that your cats get you up to feed them, just like my little does.) But, how do you stay productive all day?
post #5 of 27
I work from home and I really like it. Last August I left the military after seven years of service - and I'm not sorry about it! I left to try my luck in the internet which sounded like a gold mine at the time. Well, I haven't seen any gold yet , but I'm having great fun with this site. Getting up and getting to work is not much of a problem because I really enjoy what I do.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and I'm so glad to be at home. It lets me take a whenever I feel like it. At this stage of the pregnancy I feel like it all the time
post #6 of 27
Thread Starter 
How do you motivate yourself to get up everyday and get your stuff done?

pnut getting up and motivating myself to do things can be extremely difficult some days, i've struggled with depression all my life, and i've been ill with something called fibromyalgia which is basically, chronic pain/chronic fatigue syndrome. or at least they think thats whats happening with me, since i was thirteen. some days i just do what i can, sleep more then usual, or whatnot, but most days i try to force myself to go outside, and be more active, see friends more often. over these past few months i've been writing a lot, which has kept me pretty much in my head and i have been neglecting to get out and be more sociable and just breath fresh air... but at the same time, i think, writing has been only doing me good, and the sacrifices that have come with it, are inevitable, though trying at times... i.e. not seeing friends/family as much.

But, how do you stay productive all day?

productiveness is very subjective in my mind, sometimes doing the laundry or going for a walk is productive enough.

when i need to be motivated, and need to lift my spirit, music always works, writing, and, of course, my cats always help. they are incredibly loving. my depression has improved so much this past year, and the quality of my life along with it. i'm a morning person, i like to be up really early like, 5 a.m. early, but at the same time i hate waking up from sleep, i'm an incredibly deep sleeper but the days when i'm up early, before the world, it feels (despite time zones) is always a good start to my day.
post #7 of 27
stands out in the pasture. If I am not out there and feeding the horses by at least 6:30 a.m. My mustang will stand underneath these huge (homemade) windchimes- about 6' in length. We hung them in one of the pine trees. He runs underneath them and they go "BONG!BONG!BONG!" LOL Kind of like church bells. That is my alarm clock- who needs a rooster- though there are several of those around here as well.

When I first hurt myself, all I wanted to do was lay around all day as it killed my head to even move. (I slipped and fell over backward in the horse pasture, knocking myself out) But now with new doctors and new medication, the headaches are gone and life is easier......
post #8 of 27
Sorry to hear about your illness Katie. You have mentioned it a couple of times but I didn't know if it would be alright to ask about it. As far as I know it can be quite devastating. I know this British guy that has it and he has practically lost both his job and his marriage because he was too inactive. He is feeling better now. Is there any chance of recovery? Do they know what's causing this? I think I heard something about a virus once, but I'm not sure.

Hissy, your horses sound wonderful - it must be great living with so many animals around you. I hope your head injury will be completely healed soon!
post #9 of 27
Thread Starter 

it has been devastating for me, since i learned to walk i was dancing, always, and when this hit, dancing became out of the question, like so many other things. the pain hits me mostly in my lower back, knees, and neck. the fatigue is horrible, low-energy all the time, but this desire to do so many things. it's incredibly frustrating. my physiothereapist said there is no cure as of yet, and they are still learning so much about fibromyalgia, - it can go into remission, and it can go into remission for long periods of time. i'm doing what i can to help it go into remission, but, so far, its remained the same. as far as i know they dont know whats its caused by, yet . it would be out of the question for me to pursue a job, like a regular job. i'm limited to so much, right now. it's hard as well, in the fact that so many people in my life have trouble understanding it, and what i go through with it... i try to be as normal as i can be, but, a lot of the time i simply cant be. i cant do the same things as everyone else in my life.

luckily the people i love most in life are incredibly supportive, and empathtic. my roomate gives me as many massages as it takes to get me through the day, and my best-friend Cameron is always researching it, and driving me to my physio-therapy sessions, buying me new massager type gadgets it is only my parents that dont try to understand, simply because they have never heard of it before, i imagine.

thanks for your concern.
post #10 of 27
Thread Starter 
my, arent we all quiet today ?

this thread can be used as randomly as you like: i.e. talk about anything you're thinking about..

i'd like to get to know you guys a bit better.
post #11 of 27
HeHe, Boy I am way behind today. I had to take my hubby to the hospitol for a kidney biopsy (NOT FUN). I think I am going to finish this one and check on dinner. I am praying for some me time tonight to catch up on posts.
I guess you could say I just don't know what I want to do. I never have. I do something for ahwile and then move to something else. My interests are just about everything!! I dont think theres anything I dislike doing except for fishing. Currently I am working at an Army vets office being the receptionist. My hubby is in the military. However, I havnt traveled much. I was born and raised in CA and thats where we met 10 years ago. We just now transferred to CT 1.5 years ago. We only had the one child and she was enough. We are pretty content with all the cats and one little girl. I would love to stay home and work if I could find something I like to do. I could stay on the computer all day as long as I kept busy. I am one of those people who has to be doing something at all times!!
Well, I suppose that sums it up for now. I am sure I will think of something else later..I am pretty sure I am more complicated than that!
I would address everyone else, but before I forget, Blue.. I know what you are going through. I have a very dear friend with the fibromyalgia. I really hope they find something to help the pain.
I will be back later..
post #12 of 27
Hi Everyone!

My name is Donna and I am also a writer at a newspaper. I write mostly obituaries on prominent people in Connecticut and sometimes human interest stories. Writing, cats and animal rescue are my true passions. 8 cats currently own me. 2 are fosters and the rest are mine. I work nights (which I enjoy because my mornings are free). I do wish I could work from home but that is not possible. I would love to get a job at a veterinary hospital but the pay is not enough to live on.

Hope everyone is well and look forward to chatting with you.

post #13 of 27
Hi! Blue....I know what you are going through...to a certain extent....I have never been diagnosed with anything...(I live in a small town) but I think I have some of those same symptoms....I don;t have the pain as much as the constant fatigue....I can sleep all day if I don't force myself to get up. And I too deal with depression...It is hard sometimes...so hard. But I work a full time job...have been there almost 12 years, and I try to keep my head above water, so to speak....having my animals to love me gives me much comfort.
post #14 of 27
Wow! I'm suprised at how many here are writers. In 1975 (geez, just writing that makes me feel old) I saw Spielbergs Jaws and was hooked on movies ever since. I presently work in video/film and am still trying to write 'the' perfect script for which I can make a film. As the years race by I get frightened by the prospect that I am getting older and still struggling. But, I do earn my living as a freelance writer/producer/director doing mostly corp. video work and still hanging onto the dream and doing my own projects when I can. I too have a disabling disease called Degenerative Muscular Spacticity which, luckily, only affects my legs. 7 years ago I could run (Of course, 7 years ago I was having sex daily too, but, well thats gone too. LOL), now I have to use a cane to get around and eventually it will be a wheelchair. But, it only slows me down and doesn't stop me. I'll be 35 June 17 and that freaks me out a bit because I still feel like a kid as I am still "struggling", per se, while other times I feel like 100. I love life and notice that I am FAR more open minded now than when I was younger and tend to have more wild times with friends as apposed to when I was a teen and in my 20's. I am and always will be a hopeless romantic and am a firm believer that chilvary is not dead. Well, I guess thats enough for now. I may add more later.
post #15 of 27
I know what you mean about being freaked out by turning 35....I turned 35 last October...and it scared me way worse than 30 did, I don't know why,,,I guess just that I'm geting so close to 40 now. I'm sorry to hear about your disability....my best friend has MS....she is 35 also, and developed it when she was 30....she uses a walker, but some days she can't walk at all....I guess I should feel lucky that all I suffer from is depression, and it's not all the time. I feel guilty for feeling bad about my life when I think how she must feel. I'm so glad to have met you.
post #16 of 27
Sorry to hear about your MS Chuck. I hope it doesn't get any worse. Debby, are you taking anything for the depression? I'm a firm believer in Prozac! Nothing like it to beat the blues

How is your husband Sandie?

This is a great thread. I was thinking maybe we should have a daily thread just to say hi and see how's everyone doing? Debby knows what I mean, as there is such a thread at FrappyDoo (another forum we're both members of). It's a thread that is titled "our daily thread for Friday, March 2" and begins and ends at the same day. The next day we start another one called "our daily thread for Saturday, March 3" and so on. Everyone can start the daily thread (I can always be first as I wake up ages before you do :tounge2:...
post #17 of 27
I will be 45 this year and you can paper two rooms with my rejection slips I have received from publishers. But I take heart, Stephen King, Ann Rice, Mary Higgins Clark, all were not discovered until way after their 45th birthdays so maybe my time is coming??? LOL
post #18 of 27

No you're not the oldest...I turned 48 on February 13th. Age is a state of mind and I don't feel 48. I have had alot of problems in my life (including depression for which I am on medication for) but seem to bounce back everytime. I am a true believer in things happening for a reason. The other day I was on my way to work and marveled in the fact that as little money as I make as a writer for a newspaper, I still seem to survive. And, I think I have finally found my nitch in animal rescue. s are everything to me and anything I can do to help them makes me feel like a million bucks!

Debby, I also believe in "better living through chemistry"! Pharmaceuticals are our friends and I would be a basketcase if it weren't for the little blue pill and brown pill I take every morning. It's my lifeline. God I live these little signs!
post #19 of 27
Donna - Doesn't it suck to have your b-day close to 's Day? I am the day after and have never gotten a Valentine's gift (except a toaster from my parents when I was in college)!
post #20 of 27
Thread Starter 
Hi! Blue....I know what you are going through...to a certain extent....I have never been diagnosed with anything...(I live in a small town) but I think I have some of those same symptoms....I don;t have the pain as much as the constant fatigue....I can sleep all day if I don't force myself to get up. And I too deal with depression...It is hard sometimes...so hard. But I work a full time job...have been there almost 12 years, and I try to keep my head above water, so to speak....having my animals to love me gives me much comfort. - originally posted by Debby -

Debby, have you researched Fibromyalgia online to see how many symptoms you might have ? its hard to diagnose, but, its important to get help, like physiotherapy & massage therapy. also, as we all know, excessive sleeping (or none thereof) are big signs of depression, so, if you arent experiencing much pain, and mostly fatigue, perhaps its from your depression ? hopefully you will find out what you can about Fibromyalgia and try to find a doctor you can talk to about it.

i too find having my cats in my life has been a big saving grace, some days i wonder how i'd make it through the day without them, or how different my life would be.

lol, then of course there are those days when i can make it through the day without them just fine ! like when they tear up the toilet paper, or knock everything off my desk, or fall asleep in my laundry basket on top of newly washed whites ! hehe... those are just mild happenings too

if you ever want to talk about it, i'm here.

have a wonderful day & weekend.
post #21 of 27
I think having a daily forum would be nice. It would be an easy way to keep track of stuff that particular day.
Hubby is feeling a bit sore. Yesterday they put him in a cat scan machine and took 4 chuncks of his kidney. We are still not sure whats wrong with him. We just know his kidneys arent working. They first thought it was Lupus, and still havnt ruled it totally out. We should know a little more the 15th of March. I got a little worried yesterday because the Dr said there might be 2 complications, one being he wouldnt stop bleeding and he would have to stay for transfusions, or the other..DEATH. So I am glad there were no complications. I just hope he is not so sore for very long.
Today I find myself getting depressed working for a vet. Some days are worse than others. I find people who are mean to their animals and only have them because their families want them. My favorite for today was a man wanting to know what he should be doing for his pregnant cat. He has no idea when she got pregnant...but the cat has never had a shot and we know now she has been outdoors. The likleyhood of the kittens having distemper or leukemia when they are born is pretty good. Which means they will probably not survive long
I think I am done venting for today..thanks for listening!

[Edited by Sandie on 03-02-2001 at 03:49 PM]
post #22 of 27
Sandie....I said a prayer for your husband, and I hope everything turns out alright....my thoughts are with you.
Thanks Blue for your advice, and Donna and Anne, I am actually on prozac right now...( I usually don't like to tell people that....I am afraid they will judge me...but I know you all aren't like that.) I take only 20 mg a day, and it has helped me somewhat with the depression I have felt since my father died in August...but not totally.

I have always had a bit of a problem with depression, but it seems to get worse as i get older...I have lost 3 grandparents, my mother and now my father in the past few years...I feel alone lot...and only one of my 3 brothers lives in this state, and since I have no children of my own, I sometimes feel like I have no family left.

I cry alot, and grieve for my father alot.I love my husband dearly, but we have alot of problems sometimes...we don't get along as well as we used to, and we don't communicate much. This also depresses me, as this is my second marriage, and if I can't make it work, then I feel like there must be something wrong with ME.

My husband didn't even take off work to be with me the day my Dad died...he says it's because of his boss, but I know thats not true...his boss is not that insensitive, and he could have just came home to be with me. But I had my wonderful friends with me...I am blessed to have such wonderful, caring friends, who love me so much.

Guess I am going on and on and on here, but it feels so good to get these things off my chest!!

I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me...I just want to tell you how it is. Another thing I went through that still depresses me, is losing my mother. She died 3 1/2 years ago...but I lost her 10 years before that...when I was about 22. She was 68 then, and she had a series of strokes that didn't take away the use of any part of her body, except her brain...slowly bit by painful bit, I watched my mother lose her mind...and it is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. The last 5 years she was alive, she couldn't even talk...she would just scream out this high pitched giggle. Dad tried to take care of her as best he could...he kept her at home with him, even though he as an old man also (he was two years older than mom) and finally he just couldn't do it anymore...he had to put her in the nursing home....but that was only for the last year of her life....the first 9 years of her illness, he took care of her at home. It was hard for him, and it showed. She would wander outside, or turn the burners on, and didn't have much control over her bodily functions, but he refused to put her in the nursing home, till he absolutely had to.
It was hard on all of us, but especially for dad. He loved her so. The day she passed away at the nursing home, he held her hand, and then when he realized she was gone, he turned to me and my brother, and said, with tears in his eyes..."There was never anybody else" How sad is that!!!They had been married for roughly 60 years when she died.

I don't know why on earth I have suddenly decided I need to talk about this...and it probably seems like I'm writing a book....but I just needed to. Thanks for listening.

Dad was 82 when he died last August. I miss him so. They were wonderful parents, even though they were older when they had me...(Mom was 46 dad was 48)

I think I'd better stop writing now...wow, didn't mean to get so carried away. Sorry.
post #23 of 27
Debby, you are so fortunate to have wonderful parents. It is really hard to lose someone in degrees as they get older and their bodies betray them. I am so sorry for you loss and I know that you must of been really close to both of them. I have lost both my parents, though they are still alive. About 4 years ago, my grandmother died and she left me all her inheritance, though mother was the only living blood relative. She left her $1.00. At the time the lawyer contacted me I was in complete shock. I had heard that my niece (the only grandchild from our family) was to inherit all the money. When I heard I was the only beneficiary, I called my mother and asked her if she wanted the money. She told me no, that they didn't need it- which they don't. Neither do my two sisters or my niece. So I accepted it. I loved my grandmother a lot and when I was growing up- my family used to pummel me a lot and grandma and grandpa were my champions. They saved me many a time...But anyway, once the money was delivered, it drove this huge wedge between me and my family. My mother kept insisting that I tell her everywhere the money was being spent or saved, and I refused to do that. So as the years have passed, my mother has been really stinky towards me, and has told my father he can have nothing to do with me. It really hurts, and it really angers me, but she is really toxic to my soul anyway, so why do I feel this need to have her love me? Something she is incapable of doing? I guess because I grew up with Father's Knows Best and Donna Reed and Leave It To Beaver- and I have been on a quest for that perfect family that never existed.

I was not an easy child to raise, and if I could go back and do it all over again, things would be different. But I have been in years of therapy and diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder- and my counselor has told me that it is normal for families who are emotionally out of balance to pick on one child (usually the most sensitive one) and just beat that child and take out all their frustrations on them. So I would just act out and do really stupid things, and I finally ended up running away from home in the middle of the night and moving in with a man I later married. We were married for 10 years before we called it quits. But the split with my family ever widens and I am powerless to bridge it. I know I love both my parents a lot, but I also know all they do is bring me grief and tears. I doubt I will see them before they die, as I have been told, I am no longer welcome at the house, not even for holidays.

Lord forgive me for this emotional dump. Our anniversary was just last week, and my mother sent me a check for $10.00 and told us to go out and have dinner on them. It would of been better if she hadn't sent anything at all. And before the inheritance, she would typically send us anywhere from $200-$400. The saddest part of it all, is what I want from my parents is not the money- it is the love and acceptance. Something I was robbed of a long time ago
post #24 of 27
I am glad you told us about all of that. That is what makes us all human. If we did not have any bad times, we would not know what the good ones were. I have found that we are challenged all the time by life. I am going through what seems to be a rough patch. I swear it has been one thing after another. Sometimes I think I need something to help take the edge off. I may need to at some point. For now, I just keep pushing it to the back and moving forward.
I know what you are talking about with the strokes. My mother in law went through the same thing. I loved her as much as my own mom. She was a very caring, loving person. She and I would stay up till 2 in the morning talking when we went to visit. It was very hard when she passed. The same thing had happened to her. She would loose a piece of her every day. Finally at the end she was in the hospitol.When she finally passed, my husband was in Antartica on deployment. I had to fly out by myself and be there by myself. My father in law was devistated. They had been together for over 25 years. She was 13 when they met. The whole thing was very hard to get over.
That same year x mas eve, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. I could not beleive that was happening. I was very close to him and he was in Wisc at the time. I could not be there with him.
Two years after that, My grandmother...which is a whole story in itself passed away. She was not a very nice person, but non the less she was my grammie.
3 months pass and my mom called to tell me that the dog we had grown up with had gone into seizure and they had to put her to sleep. She was 17, so I knew it was time. It was just hard to deal with. I had picked her out when I was 13 at the humane society. I spent most of my teen years with her.
Of course, then comes my brother. Who had gotten himself hooked on Meth. So after being arrested a few times and missed court dates, they finally got him for good. He spent this last x mas and new years in a jail. I know he brought it on himself, but he is my little brother and I hate to think of him in that situation. He is in a rehab now until July and I just keep praying he will straighten out.
Of course heres where hubby comes in. We find out a month ago that he may have the lupus, but nobody knows for sure. Then they find out his kidneys are pretty bad off. So I am still in the dark about that. We wont know whats going on for a few weeks. It does not make things better when he is only 40 this month, I am only 26 and we have a 6 year old to raise together yet.
Last but not least, my dad called tonight to let me know he went to the Dr and his blood pressure was 210/108. He is on the verge of a dang stroke. Now I am stuck in CT and cant help anyone but my hubby.
All I can say is that everything happens for a reason. Weather I like it or not, I have to deal with it. I am glad I am not the only human who seems to be walking around with a dark cloud.
Now that everyone knows my history...but it feels good just to let it out every now and then. Whoever had to sit through this whole thing...thank you!!
post #25 of 27
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. That is a very moving thread! I guess we all need to vent our spleens once in a while... Sometimes just talking about things can make you feel better. I'm so glad we all feel secure enough in this forum to really let go and talk about the hurtful things.

You are all such wonderful people and I hope and pray that life will get better for you, each in his or her special way.
post #26 of 27
I work for an electrical contractor and my job is estimating. I have been an estimator for a little over 2 years and I love it. I was hired at this company in 1995 to sort the left over materials that had been piling up from finished jobs then gradually I got into doing other things around the shop. After about a year I was doing a little of everything, but now estimating is what I do all the time. (Unfortunately all this sitting I do has caused a 10-15 lb. weight gain in the last 2 years.) My boss has taught me everything I know, thank goodness. (me and school don't like each other.) I learn much better on the job.
I'm a single mother (leaving my husband was the best and smartest thing I have ever done) and have 2 of my 3 children living at home with me. My oldest just turned 19 and recently made me a grandmother.
Blue---my mother has fibromyalgia also. She is in constant pain, some days worse than others. She's had arthritis since her early twenties and within the past 3 years the discs in her back have disintergrated. She has a wonderful husband (my step-dad)that does everything he can for her even though he has his problems too. I've been very fortunate, I'm 40 years old and haven't experienced any of these yet. I see what my mother goes through and I can't imagine having to endure all the pain.

I lost my dad when I was 25 (1985) through suicide. He had cancer of the throat and went through surgery to remove it. They had to cut out part of his tongue, which made it hard to understand what he said. I know that had to bother him and one day he went to his cabin in Utah and shot himself. When my step mother tried to get in touch with him and got no answer she called the sheriff and had them go check on him. They found him.

I guess that's about it for now.
post #27 of 27
Oh my gosh Terri, I am so sorry to hear about your father....makes me realize even more how much I need to stop smoking. My husbands father also shot and killed himself when he (my hubby ) was 6 years old.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words, and it is so good to read all your stories, we all have experienced great losses. Hissy....I think it is sad that your parents are treating you like that...just because of money. And Sandie, I hope things work out with your brother...and I am praying for your husband and father.
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