Please Tell Me I Did The Right Thing

beckiboo

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I am a psych nurse at an outpatient clinic. Sometimes people do not understand that a mental health crisis is just as important as a physical health crisis.

If she had a heart attack in front of you, you would not hesitate to call 911. Being suicidal can be just as deadly as a heart attack. You must always report it! When you see her again, let her know that anything said can remain confidential, unless doing so will interfere with keeping her or someone else safe.

As for you crying, again, if she had a heart attack in front of you, you would be upset and crying after sending her to the ER. It is natural after intervening in a mental health crisis as well. You definitely did the right thing-whether she is willing to accept it or not! And you may be surprised, after she is feeling better, she may understand that you did what you had to do!
 
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ugaimes

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Thank you all again SO MUCH for your support
. It means the world to me right now. I actually knocked off a bit early to get home and...well...do some more crying and just release it all. I'm going to take a long bath and open the wine very soon. And trust me, the kitties already know something is wrong with meowmy.
This client had 2 traumataic things happen back-to-back: first a miscarriage, then she was raped by someone in her unit. I can only imagine how horrific it would be to experience ONE of those things, much less both within the space of a week! I'm climbing the walls right now with concern for her. Just please keep her in your thoughts y'all. If you are a person who prays, please include this soldier in your prayers. She needs every ounce of good vibes to make it through this.
 

jennyr

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You were right. I once had to get an alcoholic friend into a secure unit by calling police and paramedics and he shouted and cursed me and wouldn't speak to me for years. But now he recognises that I was the only one of his friends strong enough to take the action I did, and it saved his life.
 

rosiemac

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Originally Posted by AbbysMom

I think you need to go home tonight and just take care of yourself for a change... a glass of wine, bubble bath, etc.
Amy it's happend, your drained and need a good nights sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day, and once this girl has also slept on it she may feel differently?!.

Can you contact her say in a couple of days to let her know that you will still be there for her even while she gets help?.

Give those babies of yours a good old hug and i know that'll make you feel a lot better!
 

kellyyfaber

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Oh Amy dear, please don't cry!!! The "right" thing is always the hardest thing to do! As soon as this poor gal calms down, she'll realize you did the best thing that could have been done for her and she'll be thankful to you. When people start talking about suicide, they're usually going to attempt to harm themselves. When they talk about it to others, it's a cry for help. She was basically asking you to help her, and you did! I know this has to be rough on you and I'm sending prayers out for both you and her. You're such a wonderful, loving person and I hate to know that you're so upset and hurt over this. You absolutely did the right thing.
 

rapunzel47

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Amy, it's already been said umpteen times, but I need to add my two cents and my support.

Her being POd is no big surprise, given her current mental/emotional state -- but we know, you know, and eventually she will know, that being POd is highly preferable to being dead. She was ringing the alarm bells, and you answered them in the only helpful way. One day she will realize that "confidentiality" does not and cannot include knowingly letting someone come to harm. Please be gentle with yourself -- you did her the biggest favour you could.
 

marge

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at these times you have to fall back on what your professional duties are.
I know it's hard.

I once saw cut marks on a kid in our tutoring center's arms. I wrestled with what to do, but ended up calling the mental health center. They at first said they coulnd't contact him due to confidentiality, but then changed their mind. Needles to say this kid cut off from all of us, and hated me big time. But I know I did the right thing.
 
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ugaimes

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Originally Posted by Marge

at these times you have to fall back on what your professional duties are.
I know it's hard.

I once saw cut marks on a kid in our tutoring center's arms. I wrestled with what to do, but ended up calling the mental health center. They at first said they coulnd't contact him due to confidentiality, but then changed their mind. Needles to say this kid cut off from all of us, and hated me big time. But I know I did the right thing.
Thank you again, everyone, for your kind words
I took a long, hot bath and had one glass of wine (I'm on call, so I couldn't drink much more!). Then Bradley came over and brought me some cupcakes
. He's wonderful.

Marge, you definitely did the right thing. From what I understand from yesterday, suicide transcends all confidentiality. Counselors, doctors, etc.- they all have a duty to report if they believe someone is suicidal or homicidal (from what I gathered yesterday). For anyone who's ever had to go through this on either side, my
and heart goes out to you!

An update: When I got to work this morning, there was a msg. on my voicemail from the client, apologizing for how she reacted. Of course, she owes me no apology whatsoever, but at least this is encouraging because she wants to continue working with me and continue with her therapy. I'm feeling so much better about things now!!!
 

AbbysMom

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I'm glad to hear you were able to relax last night and that your client called you. that must be a HUGE relief!

I hope you have a MUCH better day today!
 

jillian

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I'm glad to hear things are working out. Best wishes for you and your client.
 

hannahj

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Im pleased that she has opened the possibility of communication again. Its wonderful that she was able to see that you were acting in a positive way for her, and her apology proved that. She has much work ahead of her, but you have to feel vindicated that you did the right thing!
 

beckiboo

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Originally Posted by ugaimes



An update: When I got to work this morning, there was a msg. on my voicemail from the client, apologizing for how she reacted. Of course, she owes me no apology whatsoever, but at least this is encouraging because she wants to continue working with me and continue with her therapy. I'm feeling so much better about things now!!!
Oh, that is great. Sounds like she is ready to start healing. I can tell you, the human spirit is amazing, at what troubles it can overcome. She has been through way too much recently! I'm glad you are there to help her through when she gets back!
 

rapunzel47

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An update: When I got to work this morning, there was a msg. on my voicemail from the client, apologizing for how she reacted. Of course, she owes me no apology whatsoever, but at least this is encouraging because she wants to continue working with me and continue with her therapy. I'm feeling so much better about things now!!!
Amy, that's wonderful. I'm so glad she has come around SO SOON.
 
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ugaimes

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Thank y'all again so much for all of your kind words
.
Yes, it is wonderful that she's back talking to me so soon....I'm not keeping my breath held though. It is the nature of rape trauma syndrome for moods to change very quickly and very often. So, she may decide tonight at dinner that she hates me and calls to tell me so. I know now not to take it personally (I actually welcome any time she decides to express emotion now, no matter what that emotion may be; it is a very good sign) and that her healing will just take one day at a time.
 

cheeseface

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Amy, I think you made the right call no matter how much it hurts right now. If she was suicidal, she could have put many other innocent people at risk. I assume that's why you had to tell her captain. She's also not in the right frame of mind while she is angry with you, so if she recovers, she has a better chance of seing the light on that. If you kept it quiet, it could have escalated more, since you can't be there with her 24/7, and if she killed herself, there would be absolutely no chance for her to recover at all.
 

cheeseface

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Originally Posted by Mom of Franz

I've had to do the same thing more than I care to remember. Eventually I decided this: Many people die trying to commit suicide; no one has ever died from being pissed off.
That's a good way to put it.
(I would have died so young!)
 

ccoccocats

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Amy I've hesitated giving you my point of view for various reasons, but, I decided this is a place where we can accept our different points of view. So I'm going to give mine which is the only opinion that is different from the rest.

I know the organizations you belong to can mask what others may do in your situation. I am one of those people that you help. So I say this, which I'm sure you already know.

People talk of suicide to get attention, whether good or bad, it's attention....something they are lacking. Trust me, it's the one that doesn't talk about it that will go through with their thoughts. They decide to talk to get a reaction to see if they're worth your 'attention'.

People attempt suicide for 2 reasons: 1. They've run out of options to their problems; or 2. They want to hurt themselves to feel something since they feel so "dead or numb" inside, hurting themselves is way they convince themselves they 'are alive - and have feeling'.

I say, if someone wanted to help that person I'd have a private talk with her telling her that there's counseling that may help, rather than reporting her, betraying her trust, embarassing her to others whom she wanted not to know, and felt she now has no one to turn to. She may say she's sorry, or it's ok, but inside she's not sincere with her apologies.

A friend would give her resources, perhaps their own phone number to talk, or even offer to bring her to some group therapy that focuses on her problem.

I truly respect your work, and silently admire you cause you certainly are terrific in the work you do for all those women, and men, out there in need of you being there for them. I personally thank you for representing one of many who have, and is, helping me.
 

mom of franz

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Originally Posted by ccoccocats

Amy I've hesitated giving you my point of view for various reasons, but, I decided this is a place where we can accept our different points of view. So I'm going to give mine which is the only opinion that is different from the rest.

I know the organizations you belong to can mask what others may do in your situation. I2. They want to hurt themselves to feel something since they feel so "dead or numb" inside, hurting themselves is way they convince themselves they 'are alive - and have feeling'.

I say, if someone wanted to help that person I'd have a private talk with her telling her that there's counseling that may help, rather than reporting her, betraying her trust, embarassing her to others whom she wanted not to know, and felt she now has no one to turn to. She may say she's sorry, or it's ok, but inside she's not sincere with her apologies.

A friend would give her resources, perhaps their own phone number to talk, or even offer to bring her to some group therapy that focuses on her problem.

I truly respect your work, and silently admire you cause you certainly are terrific in the work you do for all those women, and men, out there in need of you being there for them. I personally thank you for representing one of many who have, and is, helping me.
People who work in the health care field are legally bound to report suicidal ideation. Furthermore, people who talk about suicide are not just seeking attention, they are seeking help. People who commit or attempt suicide are not trying to feel something, to ease their numbness, they feel plenty. Maybe you are confusing people who self mutilate. Self mutilators are not suicidal. Suiciders are seeking to end the pain they are in. To quote William Styron, on suicide "It (suicide) is an action taken to rid oneself of the pain of the illness."
I write these words not only as a health care professional but as someone who has been on the dark side. Again quoting Styron, depression is the death of the soul. Suicide always has to be reported, not just legally but morally.

Here's a link to the Good Samaritans, one of the oldest orgainizations in America, and I believe internationally commited to suicide prevention, They list here commom suicide misconceptions.

http://www.samaritansnyc.org/myths.html

Here are some more sobering facts on suicide:
Suicide is a health epidemic in America today. The proof? Here are a few facts about suicide from the National Centers for Health Statistics and the American Association of Suicidology:

  • Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death in the U.S.(1999)
    Someone dies from suicide every 17 minutes
    Suicide leads to over 30,000 fatalities a year
    Over 5,000,000 living Americans have attemted suicide
 
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