Crabby Cat. I am going CRAZY! PLEASE HELP!

Hi everyone
I posted a thread awhile ago about my two cats Ginger and Haley.
I have had Ginger since Oct of last year she is over 1 year old. I got Haley in April of this year and he was seven months old when I got him.He has had all his shots etc.
Ginger is very grouchy with the new kitty and she hisses at him and smacks him every chance she gets!
Haley, the little one just runs away and usually ignores her.
I got Haley fixed last week hoping this would solve the problem. No such luck.
Ginger is worse than ever and she even hisses at me and won't let me touch her . All she does is walk around hissing and growling most of the time. She is not a playful cat and never really was. When she sees Haley playing with his toys, she goes over and smacks the toys away from him.
In general she is making life in our house very unpleasant and I am at my wits end! I will not give either cat away. Is there any advice you can give me my fellow cat lovers? Gingers personality has changed so much, she used to be so sweet and now she is just grouchy all the time.
Please help as I am about to go insane!

"Ginger-this is frum Festus, a beootiful gurl cat. My evul brofur Garfield is horrible! He iz bigger dan me, and chases me and bites and wrestles. I think yoo are being too gentle wif dis little guy Haley. Soon he will be bigger dan yoo, and life as yoo know it will end! Do not let ur Meowmie try to convince yoo he can be yur friend! Keep hitting evul Haley and his toys. Eat all his shrimpies.

Garfield is a pig. He never cleans his ears, and I haf to do it! And his litterbox habits, well lets just say I have to bury before I can dig a hole for myself!

I feel ur pain. I feel ur pain!

Yur sympathetic friend, Festus!

P.S. I will trade u Garfield for little Haley. I could maybe beat him with one paw behind my back!"


See how purty I am?


He was cute at furst. Now he is just a big stinker who sits on Meowmies lap so I haf to sit on a chair!

Stay strong, Ginger! Bop that boy once for me, please!-Festus!

Lainy, you haven't had the cats all that long for them to get along yet. Sometimes it just takes time. I don't know if you kept them apart at first or just let them meet and go for it. If you carried Haley into the room where Ginger was in the beginning, then you made Haley a threat to Ginger because in the cat world, height indicates Alpha.

Have you looked into the Bach Flower Remedies? Beech or Holly would be good to help this situation. Also the Feliway Comfort Zone Room Diffuser is helpful to stop aggression-

Do they share anything? Food bowls, water bowls litter pan. toys? They each need their own- who gets their food bowl first when you feed? Do you have spaces in your home where the cats can get up off the floor safely on to different levels?

Originally Posted by hissy

Lainy, you haven't had the cats all that long for them to get along yet. Sometimes it just takes time. I don't know if you kept them apart at first or just let them meet and go for it. If you carried Haley into the room where Ginger was in the beginning, then you made Haley a threat to Ginger because in the cat world, height indicates Alpha.

Have you looked into the Bach Flower Remedies? Beech or Holly would be good to help this situation. Also the Feliway Comfort Zone Room Diffuser is helpful to stop aggression-

Do they share anything? Food bowls, water bowls litter pan. toys? They each need their own- who gets their food bowl first when you feed? Do you have spaces in your home where the cats can get up off the floor safely on to different levels?

Click to expand...

Hi Hissy,

Yes I did keep them apart at first. I followed the proper introduction method that I found on this site.They do share litter boxes , however I have provided 2 for them , one in the basement and one upstairs. They both use the two litter boxes.
As for the food I have two bowls , one for each. I do however pour the food into the bowls when they are on the floor. I tried to feed Ginger first but Haley is a little
piglet and runs to the bowl first.They each have their own toys, however Ginger is not really interested in toys and never really was even when she was alone.
They each have a "safe" place to go and Gingers is up high. She sleeps there, on the dresser.
I appreciate your advice and will try the Bach Flower Remedies . I am also going to get the Feliway plugin . Hopefully these will help.
I will keep you posted as to my progress.

I sure love these little buggers and I refuse to give either one away! Maybe I will get some valium for myself .lol

Thanks again

LAINY

Hi Lainy,

When I first adopted Eva (she was the second; Ziv was the first), I tried to make sure that each cat had "alone" time. In my apartment, the only rooms that have doors are the bedroom and bathroom--the kitchen, living room, and den are all open to each other. So, I would take one cat into the bedroom with me and close the door. I'd hang out and do whatever the bedroom cat wanted to do. Cuddle, play, sleep, whatever. One thing I learned is that sometimes a cat doesn't want to DO anything with you, but they do want to be near you. The other cat had the run of the rest of the house to play or sleep or explore for about an hour. I'd alternate who I took into the bedroom with me and who I left out each day. This way, the cats would get a break from each other and would get alone time with me. I don't need to do this anymore, as the cats choose their space on their own now (the bedroom is for resting and the living room is for playing), but I think it helped to relieve some stress for them.

Good luck! It took a while for my three to get accustomed to each other, but things are going very well now, and it was worth it.

Any updates? How are Ginger and Haley doing?

As a quick reply to this, give it a few more months, so that you've had them around each other for about eight months. I would give it at least that long. She's just grumpy that she's no longer the queen of the house (either for your attention, for the food, for her water, for the litterbox)...and she's simply mad that she has to share. Give her about eight months total, and if she hasn't chilled out, you might consider just giving your new friend to someone. Females have a tendancy to want to be the ONLY one in the house...this being with FEW exceptions.

One thing that might help...separate them for a while. Put the new kitty in a bedroom (or possibly the bathroom) with his own litter, food, toys, etc. Usually by the end of a week (sorry it might take that long), they'll probably be playing under the door with each other. If they're still not getting along, or curious about each other by the end of that time, she might just need to get in a pawing match with him to convince him of her "reign" of the household.

But, like I said, if none of that helps, and they start getting into all-out fights...you might consider sparing him the trouble and giving him a new home. Most people might think you need to get HER a new home, but that would further damage how she's feeling right now.

All in all, though, I'm sure (and can almost guarantee) that she'll come around. She was sweet before her new "buddy" came along, and that's the personality she truly has. That might hide for a bit during her "fit", but it'll come back. )

I've got every sympathy, our own Queen Victoria (we are NOT amused) is by nature a grumpy person who communicates by growls and hisses, although she is very affectionate. By the time she was eighteen months old it was clear this just is who she is, and I know just what you mean about a cat with anger management issues making life unpleasant at times! Like your cat, she will stop the others from playing at times, or not let them near the food bowls- another favourite of hers is guarding a doorway or the stairs and my other three sit in a line and look panicked- no one takes liberties with Vicket!

On the other hand, she DOES like the other cats - the three she lives with now and the two now over the bridge that she has also lived with over the last ten years. She chooses to be near them at times, they make her more playful, she likes to sit and watch them at times (of her choosing) and the three months after we lost James and she was an only cat again she was miserable and made it clear that she missed him a lot. Despite never having said anything nice to him and having whapped him frequently. She's made it clear that grouching at the other cats doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like them.

Things that help to keep her less grumpy or take the pressure off when I want to start her on HRT to stop the growling, is Hissy's recommendation of levels and heights. She loves places to hide and I bought several igloo things which are scattered around the house. Another HUGE peace saver is that her food bowls live up on the counter and everyone else eats on the floor. She knows, gets fed first and gets up on the counter when the food comes out- that saved a LOT of trouble since when she was on the floor the younger cats would rush to the bowls ahead of her, and she'd then get angry and defend all four bowls and not let anyone eat at all. I've also at times separated the cats, so that she has time when the others aren't bugging her and she gets me to herself for a while. Otherwise we don't worry about it and we just accept that's Vicket. None of the other cats have ever been afraid of her, disliked her or been unhappy because of her grumping, which makes me think they're aware there's no malice in it?