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Today's Shaggy Dog Stories

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Thread Starter 
A Trip to Sea World

On a recent trip to Sea World, we were particularly impressed by the "Penguin Encounter". We looked all over the enclosure to see all the little penguins and puffins. Down at the far end there was a little male puffin in a lady's dress, pulling rabbits out of a hat, and doing all sorts of other tricks. We called him "Drag, the Magic Puffin"

Star Worse

It was a hot summer's day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the _Fourth of July_. He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.

Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie's cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and Opie was late getting to the marina.

Luke had been drinking all this time, and was feeling no pain. When he saw Opie finally walking down the pier, he jumped up, staggered to the side of the boat to wave to his friend, and nearly fell in! Opie got there just in time to grab Luke.

Thus, it was that O.B. Juan's kin, Opie, saved Luke from falling to the dock side of the Fourth

A Spud Missile:

Imagine a land populated by sentient potatoes. It's ruled by a benevolent monarch, whom the entire population loves. The King and his Queen have a daughter, Princess Idaho. One day, the king decides his daughter is old enough to marry, so that the monarchy will continue after he is gone. So, they schedule a Grand Ball, inviting the cream-of-the-crop of all the eligible young bachelor potatoes of the kingdom. From this auspicious group, the Princess should consider whom to wed.

The night of the ball, the Princess looks radiant. She makes small talk with the top potatoes from the best university. She dances with all the movie-star potatoes, and she spends time with all the prize-winning athlete potatoes.

After the party, the king and queen visit the princess' bedroom. The king says, "Well, my dear, what do you think? You come from a fine line of potatoes. You've met the brightest, the handsomest, and the strongest potatoes the land has to offer. Who among them are you interested in marrying?"

She replies, "I don't want to marry any of them. I want to marry Tom Brokaw."

The queen gasps, but remains silent. The king turns russet red in the face. After a second to regain his composure, he tells the princess, "I forbid it! You cannot marry Tom Brokaw; he's just a common-tater."
post #2 of 2
hahahaha i like the 2nd one best
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