I can't believe it... Alex has gone
I suppose you'll remember all the hassle and hurt I've had over having to decide whether or not he would be joining me when I left for Copenhagen... well, things took a turn for the worst a while ago. Because my ex has the Joint Parental rights and responsibilities, he could prevent Alex leaving the country after all. Which he did. Not only that, but I've had to admit that I can't cope any more. It's been too much, for too long and far too soon. I haven't been coping for a long time - and Alex deserves better than that. I didn't play with him much, we didn't enjoy each other's company. I coudln't drag him out there where he would know absolutely no-one and have a mother who coudln't cope. This way, he'll be well taken care of, he'll have playmates all around him - he's seen his new school and his new bedroom and he's so excited.... so for his sake.... I had to let him go. I'd rather let him go where he could have so much more, than keep him with me purely for selfish reasons and have him suffer by him not getting the best from me. My ex and Catherine will be doing the job that emotionally, I can't do any more. And it hurts like hell. Alex went away last night.
Mum says that I've done the braver thing by letting him go somewhere where he'll have better. I don't feel too brave right now.