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How tolerant are you?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
We got a phone call last night from a long lost relative, Mike's niece, who is now his nephew. We haven't heard from this person for almost 4 years and she had gone into seclusion to have the operation (in Canada) marry her long time soul mate and adopt a little girl. Her name was Samantha, now it is David, and he sent a picture of himself and his new family via email. He looks so happy and content now. The rest of the family apparently aren't very open-minded and he has been ostracized by them and is now treated (in his own words) "like a bad toilet joke." How sad that they can turn their back on him now, and not support his life changing decision. He is going to try and bring the family up in January before he has to go in for the final stage of the operation. It was just strange to all of a sudden switch gender thinking while talking to him. But he had a miserable life as a woman, so I am glad he is finally happy.
post #2 of 12
I have to admit, I have a hard time with this kind of thing. The way I see it, by having a sex change, you're basically telling God he made a mistake when he made you.

However, if someone in my family did this, I'd have to get over it and accept it because they are family. I don't know if my family could do anything that would make me turn my back on them (after an initial pissed off period of course ).
post #3 of 12
Hissy - i am so glad that David is now happier, it is such a great shame that his family is not accepting the change because at the end of the day Samantha and David are the same person with the same blood running through their viens. Maybe once the idea has sunk in or the change has sunk in then maybe Davids family will accept it....I keep hoping that that happens. I myself would accept anthing my relatives did (well within reason....Illegal things I do not support) because at the end of the day who are we to critisize (sp?) others, especially those we love.

I send my love and happy thoughs out to you all.
post #4 of 12
Well, my take on it is that no one has walked in this persons shoes, and no one has had to live their life. That translates to mean that a person should do whats right for them, others peoples feelings on it be darned. I think if a person is born truly thinking and feeling like the sex they are not then maybe it was a 'mistake' that they were made that way. Often times people in this situation have elevated levels of hormones etc, that cause them to feel the way they do. Since this is something they had no say in or control over, theres nothing wrong, IMO, in fixing the mistake. I'm certainly glad its not something I've had to deal with, but I do wish David all the best of luck, and I really wish his family would be more accepting of his decision.
post #5 of 12
I don't believe God makes mistakes, but we do live in a fallen creation and things get messed up sometimes.

I'm sure part of the problem for the family is the shock of it all. One of the first things a small child learns is "boy or girl?" In our culture (and in many others), there is so much socialization about gender identity. Not only is it basic to the way we relate to others and see ourselves, but how frustrating it must be to feel like you can't do the things you are most interested in.

I like to think, that people can make decisions we don't agree with, but we can get past it and still support the person.

And Samantha's family is only hurting themselves, because they have already "lost a son" (I'm sure it feels that way) but their response is to deny themselves a daughter, her partner, and their child. That's a whole bunch of lovely people that they aren't even bothering to get to know. Very sad for everyone.

But how lucky they are to have you!
post #6 of 12
I think that some people can't handle life changing issues. But, hey, if he is happy, then that is all that should matter, right? This is going to seem kinda weird ...... is David married to a female or a male, because that part I didn't catch.... Hissy, hopefully David's family will come around & see he is a happy guy.

It's the same issue with the gays/lesbians .... some people just turn their backs on them. Personally, I think it is wrong. I also don't believe they were born to be homosexual. I think that something happened to them as a child, or they just had some kind of bad experience, & chose to be that way. Am I tolerant of them? Yes. But, also, the ones that I know aren't likeable either, personality wise.
post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
He was recently married to a lovely lady, and Lauren was adopted when she was 6 years old. They appear to be a happy, loving family.
post #8 of 12
I'm not sure about the homosexuality thing being a choice. Sometimes, yes, but not always. Like all people, some are intolerable and some are wonderful.
post #9 of 12
It's nice to know your nephew is happy now. My family has always been very tolerant about these issues. My cousin is gay, and the years after he came out he had a very...flamboyant HIV+ boyfriend whom the family embraced as our own. My cousin now owns two bars/nightclubs which attract a homosexual crowd and at one time or the other everyone's been over there to hang out.

I have to wonder about the whole "they chose this lifestyle" point of view, because I believe my cousin's father was gay and he kiled himself because of it. So I believe there are some genetic factors. People just may not want to believe this since if they had a family member who was gay, they think if it's genetic that they caused it. But it may be a recessive trait that shows up with the right combination.

Anyway I hope the rest of your family will accept your nephew. Is it his immediate family with the issues, or just cousins, aunts, uncles, etc?
post #10 of 12
I don't buy into homosexuality being a choice either. My husbands step brother is gay and he tells us that its a hard lifestyle to live as far as gaining acceptance and he would not have chosen that path for his life. He says he was born that way, and would have changed it if he could have. Now hes become more comfortable with his life and the family has accepted him as well as his boyfriend. It kind of bugs me when people say homosexuality is wrong because if it is genetic, which I tend to believe it is, that would be asking someone to go against the way they were made. I guess saying its a choice makes it easier to swallow. There have been studies that do point to it being a genetic thing, which doesn't really coincide with the Bible which admonishes it, so my guess is thats why it is unaccepted by some. Just my opinion though :rainbow:
post #11 of 12
God makes the soul of a person & the body is just a shell. At times the soul and the shell don't match up. I believe that God loves everyone, regardless of sex or race & if he does, why can't we.
post #12 of 12
Adymarie: I could not have said it better myself!!!
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