Currently, there is an international quest for the funniest humor. The Manchester Guardian (this morning's edition of 12/20/01) gives the following as the top vote-getters in the indicated country, thus far:
France:
"You're a high-priced lawyer. If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?" "Absolutely. What's the second question?"
Belgium:
I say, I say, I say. Have you heard the one about the three kinds of people in the world? Those who can count and those that can't.
Great Britain:
1st Place
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, somebody's stolen our tent!"
Close 2nd Place
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "Okay, now what?"
=^..^=
France:
"You're a high-priced lawyer. If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?" "Absolutely. What's the second question?"
Belgium:
I say, I say, I say. Have you heard the one about the three kinds of people in the world? Those who can count and those that can't.
Great Britain:
1st Place
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, somebody's stolen our tent!"
Close 2nd Place
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "Okay, now what?"
=^..^=
