Anyone out there done estate work before??

I'm just looking for advice on how to begin handling my late mother's affairs. I've retained a recommended attorney who specializes in estate law, and I've contacted my mother's long-time CPA (well, she did their taxes for several years) about the tax matters.

I'm just AWASH in paperwork right now, and just do not yet have the energy to deal with all of it. My mom had a credit card for EVERY major department store in town, and they will all have to be notified. The house and car will be probated, so I'll have to maintain the mortgage payments until New Years. Thankfully, mom had listed me as joint tenant on most of her asset accounts, so I will have access to those funds.

I guess I'm really just looking for some reassurance from someone that's been there, done that, that eventually all this beauracracy will be OVER. I never imagined, with myself as executrix and sole heir, that it would be so incredibly over-complicated. ONE day of errands and paperwork and I'm exhausted!!!!

Erica theres a girl who cleans for us at work and she's going through the same as you right now

Probate should be through for her mum in about 2 weeks, and she has potential buyers looking at her mums house now.

Do a standard letter for the creditors and photocopy however many you need, and just fill whichever creditors name in to send, but remember to keep a copy of each one you send just so you know who's been done?!.

You will see daylight soon, and i can only imagine how you must feel because with losing your mum on top of that!

sorry for the loss of your mom

I know when i did this when i loss Dad two years ago me and my husband did all the work we went to the probate court and ran the information in the news papper for any creitiors having clams againest the estate plus we had other papper work to do there with the probate court the lady was really nice she explained everything to us. i belive it took one year all together that is how its done in sc not sure how its done where you live take things a day at a time this part is never easy on anyone its like saying goodbye all over again

rhonda

Thanks you two!
Right now the thing that's bugging me the most is answering the calls from the collectors. Mom didn't have anyone help her with her bills those last couple months, so most of her accounts are in arrears. So EVERY time someone calls for her, I have to tell them she's deceased and ask for an address to send the death certificate to. And they're always apologetic, but still, I get SO annoyed!
I've had a really, really lonely week. Tuesday w/the Lawyer adn all the errands really drained me, more than I expected. I guess the shock is finally wearing off and cold hard reality is setting in.

I HATE Paperwork!!!!!!

Erica, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am also sorry for the overwhelming feelings of being snowed with stuff to do. I do have a little knowledge on this subject, as I was a widow very suddenly at age 23 many years ago. It's just mind-boggling all that goes on after a loss. What would help immensely is retaining a Probate Attorney. Many paralegals who assist the actual Probate lawyer will have "paper kits" that have forms for recurring and revolving credit accounts and forms to file with the state your ma lived in to protect the living interests of heirs, family, etc, where debts (or assets) are passed on. An Estate Attorney is very similar, but make sure this person is well-versed in Probate - that's all the stuff that gets filed and funneled through the court system and the IRS. If the creditors and collectors are too much, you do not have to answer. They can file a claim against the estate that will not be settled (translation: divided up from the assets -cash or otherwise- that are left after probate) until all is done. They have NO right to expect payment from you on your mom's behalf. They can threaten, harass and all that - it's illegal, frankly, and a Probate attorney will serve as a "buffer" for all this, meaning that once you refer them to counsel, all phone calls must stop. If that is too expensive by the hour, then CCC in your area usually has a "Bereavement Desk" which will handle creditors of the deceased. Are you the formal Executrix of her last wishes? Look into these options, my dear. Best wishes and hugs to you.
Elizabeth

Originally Posted by sashacat421

If the creditors and collectors are too much, you do not have to answer. They can file a claim against the estate that will not be settled (translation: divided up from the assets -cash or otherwise- that are left after probate) until all is done. They have NO right to expect payment from you on your mom's behalf.

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If that is too expensive by the hour, then CCC in your area usually has a "Bereavement Desk" which will handle creditors of the deceased.

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E, thank you SOO much for these little tidbits!! I received a wonderful pocket resource from one of her fraternal benefits organizations, which has lots of great advice, sample letters to insurance and creditors, and tear-out checklists of things to do and papers to find, but it's generalized for any loss, and as you know each circumstance is different. Montana is a "joint property" state, so all of my stepfather's assets (the equity in the house) and all his debts (numerous credit cards) passed by law to my mother upon his death. Now, because I'm not named as a joint account holder on her cc's, I can refer them to the Probate proceeding, does that sound right?
After I've gathered all the asset paperwork together, I'll see if I want to refer the creditors to counsel - it may be the only asset going thru probate is the house, and I don't want to find myself in a bind having to buy it back from "the estate" to cover those liabilities.
I never would have thought of CCC - that may be my first stop on Monday!

Originally Posted by RicaLynn

Now, because I'm not named as a joint account holder on her cc's, I can refer them to the Probate proceeding, does that sound right?
After I've gathered all the asset paperwork together, I'll see if I want to refer the creditors to counsel - it may be the only asset going thru probate is the house, and I don't want to find myself in a bind having to buy it back from "the estate" to cover those liabilities.
I never would have thought of CCC - that may be my first stop on Monday!

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Erica, if you are not a JT (joint) account holder or have your name on any of these debts, you are NOT legally responsible and I am amazed at your sheer kindness to even answer the creditor's calls. I am sure you are wise and know very well that there are emotional obligations we feel, and there are also legal obligations, and right now, nothing in what you have described is a legal obligation. You are making emotional choices, my dear, and I know for the love of your ma, but these will wear you down. Your ma would've wanted you protected, no matter what. After a person dies, the ONLY way for creditors to get paid is to file a claim against the estate ....or prey upon the family's grief and guilt of debts to pressure them for money.

Washington State is also a community property state, but that does not mean that the children of the deceased are harassed beyond reason for money on simple (revolving or recurring) accounts. We have strict laws in place here too, and I decided to master the consumer credit laws before I lost my mind after my own loss.

CCC in Montana might be too small to offer bereavement services, and the Attorney General in your state - are they in Helena? - would also be an excellent place to start. You are being KIND and generous even to answer the inquiries on your deceased's behalf and you are under NO obligation to respond to any of it if your name does not appear on the account. They are sharks after money only and becuase collectors work on commission they could care less that somebody has passed on, they only smell an opportunity for themselves.

Normally, I'd just send you a PM, but I think this thread might be of interest to others and this way everyone can see.

Be good to yourself and update when you can.
-E.

Just one little word of advice from someone who works with abandoned property (funds... say for instance your mom has some type of account that you're not aware of, after several years (depending on your State's law) any money due to her will be turned over to the State to be held until the heirs come forward to claim it.)...

Keep that probate documentation on file as long as you can, especially her Will if she had one. Consider it permanent records that never get tossed out. If you ever have to make a claim for something like the above, it'll be far easier (and cheaper) to already have it on hand. You might even consider scanning it and burning it to CD. I frequently see 20-30 year old probate documents cross my desk... yep, somebody found an unclaimed property account that had been sitting there with the State that long after the person passed on. It's not uncommon... and for higher dollar amounts, it's required documentation for the claim regardless of the age of the account.

I would urge you to verify with your State's unclaimed property bureau that she doesn't already have any accounts there while the probate case is still open. She could have a payroll check she never cashed or something. I googled Montana for you and here's their quote about searching for property:

Online. Montana's unclaimed property is listed in the Web database of MissingMoney.com. MissingMoney.com is a free national search engine that locates consumers' lost assets and unclaimed property. Unclaimed property listings from over 20 states are available for search on the site. Click on their logo to go to the MissingMoney.com site.

Requesting a search. If you want the Unclaimed Property Office to conduct a search of unclaimed property for you, please mail or fax us a written request. The address is: State of Montana, Department of Revenue, Attn: Unclaimed Property, P.O. Box 5805, Helena, MT 59604-5805. The fax number is (406) 444-0722.

BE VERY WARY of missingmoney.com. It shows you a list of every State regardless of what you put in. It has an exact match of my name, middle initial and all, having property in Montana (what a cowinkidink). I know that's not mine, just somebody else with my name. Stick to inquiring about property listed for places she's lived. MissingMoney.com is a huge headache for us, because a lot of people don't get that.

I think I'll do a complete write up about Unclaimed Property in a new thread... to explain the specific ins and outs and help people determine if they have any. If anyone's interested in looking themselves up, I'd read that first (you'll have to wait till I write it!)...