Anyone here childfree?

I am not child free but do run into the problem with some people asking Am I going to have any more ? are they nuts? lol

Child free by choice. Any time I even start thinking that kids aren't a bad idea, I go to Wal Mart.

I don't think we have a real reason except that neither of us ever wanted kids. I mean, sure I did when I was like 6 but that wore off. My sister is the same way, she never wanted kids either. She married into 3 boys, and she's happy as a clam to be step-mom, but she's also very happy that she never had to go through the childbirth, baby and toddler stages. The youngest was 8, I think, when they got married.

Honestly, I haven't gotten any grief about it from my family or anyone else. My friends with kids say we're the smart ones. LOL My parents are just wonderful, though. They always just wanted both of us to be happy, and if not having kids made us happy then they supported that. Mom WAS very happy that she did get grandsons by marriage, though.

I am child free... I just dont think this is the world I want to raise my children up in. Thats why I have Patches. Besides I have plenty of baby nephews nieces and cousins to go around in.

Child free here. I had a tubal pregnancy with husband #1 (his idea for kids not mine) and am glad that life dealt me that one - it ended our marriage very quickly.

I had the mid-30's hormone crisis about wanting to have kids before it was too late, but my husband kept me calm. I bought him a vasectomy for our 10th anniversary (yes, he got neutered).

I've had doubts for a long time, but the older I get, the more I realize that I just wouldn't have done well with children. I'm too strict, too impatient with them, and I simply have more time to devote more time to the furkids.

But our bottom line reason for not having kids? The world is simply already grossly overpopulated and we don't want to contribute to that.

Yo!

We decided when we married (I was 29, he was 24) that we didn't want kids. Reasons? I don't like kids (never have,) the world has too many people and I sure don't want to add to the burden. And yes I got the whole "you would feel different about your own" spiel from my peers. Excuse me, I don't think having kids on the off chance that I might feel different is a very responsible thing to do! Usually when I responded with the fact that it was an ethical decision they would politely back off. I did threaten to make a button that said "All my kids have feathers and fur" (I had budgies at the time.)

Regrets? Nah, I still don't like kids ! I sure as heck in the ensuing years have not seen anything that came close to changing my mind! In fact, seeing what some of our friends have gone (and are going) through, I think it's the best decision we could have made!

Cindy
Mom to Narsil, Mithril and Kellie da Peke

I decided several years ago that I would be childfree. I do not think I would be a good mother-as Momofmany said, I don't have the patience or temperment to raise a child. But I've enjoyed being the "cool" aunt for my sister-in-law's neices and nephews, and I know I'll spoil any kids my brother and sis-in-law have absolutely rotten.

I make a great aunt but would make a terrible mother.

We're planning on not having children. I used to want kids when I was younger, but that was before I realized that most women in my family had had hysterectomies by the time they were my age now (25) and my gyn. told me I may not be able to concieve or maintain a pregnancy for the same reason. At that point I made myself not want kids and so far so good. I have no interest in giving birth and trying to put myself through the physical and emotional turmoil of a difficult conception and possible loss of pregnancy. My fiance doesn't want kids either. People try to tell us we will change our minds. I don't really feel like going into a long discussion about endometriosis and infertility, so I just tell them that "I want vacations, not kids!" and that usually shuts them up! No one wants to hear about physical reasons for not having kids and if they do they start going on and on about artificial insemination, suragacy, etc- things I have no interest in. My fiance worries that with his chosen profession he is too much at risk to bring kids into the world and then have daddy's helicopter crash in the mountains. He's already had a gun pulled on him in the ambulance.

I don't think it's selfish to not want kids- regardless of the reason. If the children don't exist it really cant be selfish to deny non-existant kids lives, products, etc. The kids don't exist! I just hate that arguement- it's so silly.

i'm childfree, but i am still really young and i am having a hard time figuring out when and if i want to have children... i am trying to go to school to be a physician, which i dont want to stop for kids... then when i finish school... well, we all know what kind of hours doctors work... do i really want to have a kid then never see them??

i do want kinds, but i want this degree so bad, it is a dream... and i have thought about changing it too have kids...

i dont know... this is something that i think about alot... trying to figure out what i really want

Mferr84, my aunt's sister-in-law and her brother are both doctors. She's planning on working in a regular doctor's office with three 12 hour shifts per week- the rest of the time she spends with her child. That might be an option. Apparently it isn't too hard to get a job that isn't fulltime as a doctor.

oh yea, i know that there are options like that, i am actually thinking about joining the military and being a doctor on base is the same way... you work a normal 7-5 workday then alternate ER and weekend hours... that would be fine.

I'm child free by choice....I'll be a wonderful aunt but have no desire to have children of my own. My life is busy and my cats are my children. Being single does help to deflect questions....although my mom thinks I'd make an excellent step-mom (what part of "I don't want children" does she not understand). Do I regret my choice...not in the least bit.

Katie

I am and it was by choice. However, I aquired two step kids with my marriage to my husband.

I'm "Childfree" right now becuse I'm 23 and just graduated from College. I'm not sure I want kids anyway. I find myself getting annoyed with people letting thier kids run around the super market, mall, movie theatre, anywhere. I have a short temper and tolerance for such behavior.

I have a cousin who's 6 and she is alittle monster. Love her to death, but if she doesn't get her way then she goes and pouts and cries. No one ever corrects her except for my parents and siblings. I never feel quit right about doing so but someone has to do it. Here's an example: last christmas, she threw every gift she was given b/c it wasn't something she liked. B/c you know clothes are the worst present you could get. My aunt got her a paint and coloring set with coloring books, and paints, activity books, and stuff like that, stuff my brother and sister and I would have loved when we were her age. She threw each piece out on the floor, complaining that she already had crayons. Her mom never said a word. My mom told her to say thank you and pick up what she had thrown, she said it in a much nicer tone then we would have gotten. my cousin didn't and cried that my mom was "a big meany". My aunt told my mom she had no right to correct her like that.

Besides I was no angle growing up either and the thought that I may have triplets is just plan scary.

I am 27 almost 28 feel , look and act about 17 .... I like kids just not 24 /7 .... My biggest reason is a few genetic issues I have that wouldnt be fair to give to another person...

I'm still single and childless. I have enjoyed being aunt, great-aunt, older cousin - and spoiling them rotten. Being a meowmy is hard enough! When I read Juniper's post, I thought I had written it!

I'm 24 and I want to be childfree. I don't like kids and never will... so potential husband must agree to that. I also don't buy the "when you have your own it'll be different" thing. Kids are a BIG responsibility that you have to deal with your whole life. They grow up & become monsters... I just don't like the idea of having to deal with a younger me! I'm too selfish to have kids.

Cats are fine, that's why I'd prefer having 20 cats to 1 kid.

I just can't seem to have them LOL Oh well.

Child free by choice I knew from a very young age that i didn't want them and told my husband to be at the time if he wanted them then he was in the wrong relationship, but he didn't want them either.

I've also had the lines "you'll change your mind", "It's different when it's your own!", right down to being called selfish!, but i quickly answered back that she was the selfish one for having them to look after her when she was old

Times have changed, it's no longer the norm to be engaged when your about 21, then married 2 years later, then have a baby a year after that.

I like my space, to be able to do what i want, when i want, and i know from friends who have children they've said their lives completely changed and some have even said that although they love their kids, sometimes they wish they could turn back the clock, and my hat goes off to them for being honest!!

I am in my early thirties and child free, and I don't see myself having children in the forseeable future.

My reason for choosing to remain childless is somewhat selfish. I enjoy being able to have a bath without temper tantrums and hundreds of little arms and legs trying to clamber in with me, I enjoy being able to travel on a whim, if I want to have Sushi for dinner - I can and without a little someone making puking noises.

I have a brother 21 years youger than me and BOY, am I grateful he opened my eyes with regards to child rearing!

I'm spayed. I made that decision in a heartbeat after a disgusting miscarriage 4 yrs ago, with a jerk of an ex-boyfriend as the father of the miscarried kid. I was THAT SCARED of "ending up permanently" with yet another loser (like my daughter's father who I was married to), that I wanted to make myself barren.

I'm as sterile as a freaking cotton ball, and when I date now, I make it a point to let the guys know that I have one child, that's all I want, and if ya want a wifey who will pop out hundreds of little babies for you... go away!

I never really yearned to have kids, I got pregnant by accident (TOTALLY) when I was 24. I did not believe in abortion. One child is PLENTY.

I tried the step-mom thing with my ex, but that ended so horrificly; I found out I have ZERO patience with other people's children. I barely have enough patience with my own child; someone else's? I could just beat!

Anyways that's my two cents. Oh, back when I was fertile? I got *really sick* of my mom, who is helpless and believes all women should be married and wearing aprons and pregnant 24/7, kept asking me "when do you think you will have another baby?". I shut her up REAL quick when I got my spay.

So, is anyone else here childfree by choice?

I am by genetics AND choice. I can't but if I could, I wouldn't.

If so, what are your reasons (if you don't mind sharing)?

1. I don't someone else or worse, myself, screw up a kid where they become the next Jeffrey Dahmer or something.

2. I watch my best friend struggle every day. She had her first and only child at 35 years old. She wanted one because she saw all the attention her friends were getting when they had kids. She is the breadwinner in the family and makes $32K a year. Her husband WAS at a job for nine years (5 before their marriage) and then got let go. Since then, he has gotten and lost a total of five jobs he was assigned to by Manpower. They are in SERIOUS debt (around $200K between the house, CC, and medical bills) Her son was born with club feet. The ONLY way they haven't lost the house is because her 73 yr-old father pays for ALL of her son's needs and their groceries. She is completely spent. She has nothing left to give. She is stressed from her job, her kid, her husband, and her father. She gets almost ZERO breaks from her responsibilities.

I am choosing not to let my life get that bogged down. I wouldn't have the luxury of Daddy's money to keep us from going totally bankrupt. A kid would put us over the financial edge.

Do you find that people tend to be judgmental/critical about your choice?

Nope, no one


If you've passed the age now where you'd be able to change your mind and have kids, are you happy with your choice, or do you have regrets?

I am MOSTLY happy except I worry about dying all alone. I am very close to my mother (she is my best friend) and I don't know if I will survive without her when she does pass on. If my husband dies, and I don't have a good financial cushion, what will happen to me?? Will I die alone and abused in some shoddy state run nursing home?? That is a HUGE nagging fear I need to get rid of, but it lingers.

Don't get me wrong I totally respect everyones decision not to have kids. That is your right.

I myself can not stand kids who are screaming, tantrum throwing brats. But the way a kid acts completly comes from the parents. They learn by example and also by what they know they can get away with. Sure my girls have tried having a fit in Wal- Mart for a toy that they "NEED" (yea right). But I kindly ask them to remember that I said no. And if they continue (which is hardly ever) I stop whatever I am doing and take a little trip to the Wal-Mart restroom. That works. Because they know I am serious and that -that behavior IS NOT acceptable.

I do not like other kids. But it is true about ing your own more than life itself. 2 beautiful, smart, loving, and eventually sucessful girls are what I am going to have. And there is nothing more a person can offer this way too often messed up world. Life in this world wont get better by just stopping having kids. To me that is like giving up. It will only get better by having our babies and teaching them right from wrong. That way they grow up to do good.

--Sarah--- loving mommy to Laynee (5) and Alleaha (3)

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with this. If this was always true there wouldn't be any child-abuse in the world, would there?

Cindy
Mom to Narsil, Mithril and Kellie da Peke

I'm gonna respond on this thread even though I do plan to have children when I'm financially secure (or at least MORE finacially secure than I am now). I don't think it's fair for people to tell you that you should have kids if you don't want them, or lecture you on the various "joys" of childrearing. I will never do that to any of you, I promise. However, I am guilty of doing it on a couple of occasions, but I don't think I was in the wrong and I didn't push them on it, just mentioned it..........

So, I have two good friends and one sister who said they'd never want kids. I told my sister that she'd change her mind when she was older and that she'll like her own kid more than she'll like other people's kids, which is true IN HER CASE but I only said anything at all cuz it's my sister and I KNOW her. She was only a young teen when she decided this, which is a big part of why I was unconvinced. She has since grown up a bit and now says that she does want kids. I want to make it clear, though, that this was all said just in conversation between two sisters and there was no judgement attached.

The other two, my friends, are a little different. I told one of them to keep an open mind, because I think it's possible she MIGHT change her mind. The reason I said that is that she had never really even dated anyone at that time and she didn't have much experience at all with kids (no little kids in her family), not to mention she's very undecided about what she wants in life in general, so I just made the point that she might possibly change her opinion on it. That being said, however, I would never presume to tell her that she SHOULD have children. If she ends up never wanting them, great for her. I will certainly support her in that. I want her to have what she wants in life.
My other friend says she doesn't want kids and I believe she'll always feel that way. I doubt she'll change her mind and I would never try to change it for her. She can spoil my kids a bit and that should be enough for her.

Basically, my opinion on this is that you all have the right to do whatever you want. If you don't want kids, I'm 100% in support of all of you. Just wanted you guys to know that there's at least one person who wants kids that doesn't try to talk other people into having some (because, for the record, I didn't try to talk either of those guys into it, just brought up the possibility that they might change their mind).
So, anyway........do I qualify as one of the annoying people you guys are talking about or am I not so bad? You're not gonna lynch me or anything, are you?

Who said we're giving up. Most of the people who have responded to this thread just don't want kids. Our cats dogs and family give us enough love and joy in our lives. It's our choice so I ask you to repect that just like we repect your choice to have kids.

Childless by choice at this point in my life. For a long time, I wasn't sure I wanted kids. My husband and I weren't financially secure, still aren't as much as we'd like. Plus, mental illness runs in his family. In a few years, we will more than likely adopt. I like kids, but haven't had the baby urge. I think children are more interesting when they're about 2 or 3, just beginning to discover the world.

If you don't want children, that's your right. I know some people get upset when you say you don't want kids. My best friend tried to convince me to have "my own" until she realized it was useless. Of course, there are childless people who are equally rude to what they call "breeders." Aren't we humans so great?

I'm child free by choice. I know I wouldn't make a good mother. I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to children. I think they're cute and all, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for one. I like to do my own thing, I guess thet's selfish. However, I don't think it would be fair to a child to be stuck with a parent like I would be. I couldn't clean up their barf, or anything like that. A child needs someone who is willing to nurter them and be there for them. I'm not the right person for that role.