Missing an Old Friend
Last summer, our female tuxedo cat died of cancer. It took my husband and I a long time to get over her. But our other cat, Opie, never seemed to recover without the loss of his sister. He was always a big orange tom-cat, but without his sister, he was lonely and gained weight. He even continued to look for her under our bed and cry for her at night as recently as a few months ago.
Recently, when my husband and I were gone on a two day trip, we returned to Opie hysterical--he apparently thought we were leaving him forever. He was fine being by himself with his sister for a few days, but left on his own, he was absolutely miserable. And that's when we knew we simply had to get a new cat.
We wanted a rough-and-tumble kitten who would be playful and want to spend time with Opie, who can be very playful even at his age, and the shelters recommended another male cat who wouldn't be afraid of him.
Enter the New Kitten
We got our new little boy when he was just over 9 weeks old, which we now realize might have been too young, but he picked us, and really wanted to go home. He was a real snuggler and lover when we first got him, and we kept him separate in his own space from our existing cat for the first few days until we could get him checked out by the vets.
Once the vet gave him a clean bill of health, she recommended that we introduce the cats, then go out to dinner for an hour and let them work it out since by now, they would be used to one another's smells and were definitely aware of one another in the house.
This method has worked alright with our original cats and visiting cats before, but in this case, it might have been a mistake. When we first introduced the kitten to the cat, the kitten was fascinated with Opie, but Opie was not too thrilled about the kitten.
By the time we got back from dinner, however, everything had changed.
Unrequited Love
The adult cat now loves the kitten, and is fascinated by him, and desperately wants to play with him. The kitten, for his part, wants absolutely no part of Opie. If Opie even walks by, the kitten hisses at him. He doesn't want to play with him, sniff him, or share with him. He steals Opie's toys and food. In fact, it's the new kitten that gets jealous rather than the adult cat--who is impressing me with his patience. Lord knows I'd have gotten angry with the kitten by now.
Now that the kitten is about 10 1/2 weeks, he's getting more independent and less snuggly. He likes being handled less--which bodes ill for our plans to clip his nails this week. He doesn't meow much or seem to understand cat language; I had hoped that he would socialize and learn from watching our adult cat, but since he hates his guts, that's not happening.
I'm not super-panicked or anything, but it's been almost two weeks now that we've had the kitten and the cat together and though they can co-exist in the same room together, the kitten shows absolutely no interest in the cat, and the cat is getting depressed and needing lots of extra love, which I'm happy to give him. But I can't substitute for kitten play.
I've been trying to play with both cats together, and I have gotten them to play within a few feet of one another without fighting. Today I got them to eat pounce treats within about six inches of one another. But ultimately the kitten just runs away as soon as possible. He tolerates the cat, but that's as far as it goes. If he wants to play, he comes to my husband and I. If he wants to snuggle, he comes purring to us too.
Our poor adult cat may as well not exist in the kitten's world except as a big orange monster that frightens him.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to socialize kittens that may have been taken home too soon, and how to make the cats friends?
Last summer, our female tuxedo cat died of cancer. It took my husband and I a long time to get over her. But our other cat, Opie, never seemed to recover without the loss of his sister. He was always a big orange tom-cat, but without his sister, he was lonely and gained weight. He even continued to look for her under our bed and cry for her at night as recently as a few months ago.
Recently, when my husband and I were gone on a two day trip, we returned to Opie hysterical--he apparently thought we were leaving him forever. He was fine being by himself with his sister for a few days, but left on his own, he was absolutely miserable. And that's when we knew we simply had to get a new cat.
We wanted a rough-and-tumble kitten who would be playful and want to spend time with Opie, who can be very playful even at his age, and the shelters recommended another male cat who wouldn't be afraid of him.
Enter the New Kitten
We got our new little boy when he was just over 9 weeks old, which we now realize might have been too young, but he picked us, and really wanted to go home. He was a real snuggler and lover when we first got him, and we kept him separate in his own space from our existing cat for the first few days until we could get him checked out by the vets.
Once the vet gave him a clean bill of health, she recommended that we introduce the cats, then go out to dinner for an hour and let them work it out since by now, they would be used to one another's smells and were definitely aware of one another in the house.
This method has worked alright with our original cats and visiting cats before, but in this case, it might have been a mistake. When we first introduced the kitten to the cat, the kitten was fascinated with Opie, but Opie was not too thrilled about the kitten.
By the time we got back from dinner, however, everything had changed.
Unrequited Love
The adult cat now loves the kitten, and is fascinated by him, and desperately wants to play with him. The kitten, for his part, wants absolutely no part of Opie. If Opie even walks by, the kitten hisses at him. He doesn't want to play with him, sniff him, or share with him. He steals Opie's toys and food. In fact, it's the new kitten that gets jealous rather than the adult cat--who is impressing me with his patience. Lord knows I'd have gotten angry with the kitten by now.
Now that the kitten is about 10 1/2 weeks, he's getting more independent and less snuggly. He likes being handled less--which bodes ill for our plans to clip his nails this week. He doesn't meow much or seem to understand cat language; I had hoped that he would socialize and learn from watching our adult cat, but since he hates his guts, that's not happening.
I'm not super-panicked or anything, but it's been almost two weeks now that we've had the kitten and the cat together and though they can co-exist in the same room together, the kitten shows absolutely no interest in the cat, and the cat is getting depressed and needing lots of extra love, which I'm happy to give him. But I can't substitute for kitten play.
I've been trying to play with both cats together, and I have gotten them to play within a few feet of one another without fighting. Today I got them to eat pounce treats within about six inches of one another. But ultimately the kitten just runs away as soon as possible. He tolerates the cat, but that's as far as it goes. If he wants to play, he comes to my husband and I. If he wants to snuggle, he comes purring to us too.
Our poor adult cat may as well not exist in the kitten's world except as a big orange monster that frightens him.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to socialize kittens that may have been taken home too soon, and how to make the cats friends?
