still crying

After Buster and Snowflake passed I thought i would never heal, I came here and was comforted by you all through words of prayer and kindness. I came back with more grief for Poe Poe and Lilly and Black boy and so many others who never knew the love that was awaiting them in my heart, and now, I read all of these posts and simply cry. i can not find the words of comfort that were provided me in my time of loss and pain. I cant find in my heart what will make everything okay because i have yet to let go myself. I would like to say to all here, thank you. This time in life is hard, at 25 I have lost more animals than some of my friends have ever owned, and you all have encouraged me to continue, although the heart ache will still come with each loss, the fulfilment of each one loved makes it easier to say goodbye.

Originally Posted by phendric726

i can not find the words of comfort that were provided me in my time of loss and pain. I cant find in my heart what will make everything okay because i have yet to let go myself.

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Please do not feel obligated to offer words of comfort. After my Mom died, I could not buy sympathy cards for quite a while. Sometimes the pain of loss renders you incapable of some actions, but not incapable of offering a prayer or warm thoughts. (Just maybe of letting someone know you have done so!)

Now, I recently lost one of a litter of kittens. He was tiny and black, and full of life, and then he was gone. Somehow, with this loss, I find comfort in reading of the losses of others, and offering them words of comfort. But I understand how sometimes you cannot respond, or sometimes even read about other peoples losses. That is ok. We are a community, and we offer comfort to each other. It is not any one person's obligation to bring comfort, in fact it works better that many offer the words of comfort and hugs to those in pain.

I am sorry that you have lost so many animals. May time heal your heart, and may you find comfort in this community of friends.

Sometimes when I look at my two cats I wonder how I'm going to get through it when I lose them eventually. With each loss it takes so much out of you that you literally feel almost soul-weak.

I grew up having cats as my best friends because I was not good at making child friends (I was and still am very shy). I relied on my cats for friendship, comfort, support and unconditional love when I felt I had nobody else to turn to.

My dad had the twisted notion that once kittens grew into mature cats able to breed he would put them in the trunk of the car and haul them off onto old dirt roads in the middle of nowhere. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I relate to you in the sense that we lost so many beloved pets in such a short amount of time that it leaves so much pain and grief in our hearts.

Now that I am an adult with complete control over my life I still feel those old wounds from time to time but at least now when I lose my kitties I know I tried my best to give them a great life..something my childhood kitties didn't get the chance to experience. It can be difficult at times reading the sorrow others here are enduring but I take these opportunities to not only relate but to also reach inside myself and remember what all my cats meant to me and how so very precious their short lives were to me.

It's now 18 months down the track since I lost my beloved Sheba, and I still have major "sads" about it. I grew up having animals - usually at least one cat and a dog - but I don't remember being so devastated as I have been over the loss of my girl. She went into hospital on my birthday in 2003 and went to sleep for the last time on Christmas Day 2003. Those days will NEVER be the same for me again, let me tell you! So, like you, I am "still crying". I think my boy puss, Sebastian, misses his big "sister", too, because he absolutely refuses to go into the room where she used to sleep on the spare bed. I had the door of that room closed during most of winter last year, and only went in there to put things in the cupboard, etc. whenever I had to. When I opened the door as the weather was warming up, Sebastian flew in there, looking for her I'm sure. When he realised she wasn't there, he came out "crying", and the look on his face broke my heart! It was as though he was saying to me "Mumma, where is she? She's not there! I thought she was just hiding from me". He was very "sooky" for ages afterwards.

Maggie in Western Australia

Originally Posted by phendric726

After Buster and Snowflake passed I thought i would never heal, I came here and was comforted by you all through words of prayer and kindness.----- at 25 I have lost more animals than some of my friends have ever owned, and you all have encouraged me to continue, although the heart ache will still come with each loss, the fulfilment of each one loved makes it easier to say goodbye.

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I feel the exact same way! I am a lot older than 25 but in the last 17 years I too have lost so many - humans, places I loved and my babies. I know I need to talk but somehow can only cry.

I can only hope we will all be together again some day in Heaven and I am trying my best to please God so He will let it be so!

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my Beloved Corkie's death, as she died exactly 3 months ago. I miss her terribly!

Originally Posted by sadisticookie

Sometimes when I look at my two cats I wonder how I'm going to get through it when I lose them eventually. With each loss it takes so much out of you that you literally feel almost soul-weak.

I grew up having cats as my best friends because I was not good at making child friends (I was and still am very shy). I relied on my cats for friendship, comfort, support and unconditional love when I felt I had nobody else to turn to.

Now that I am an adult with complete control over my life I still feel those old wounds from time to time but at least now when I lose my kitties I know I tried my best to give them a great life..something my childhood kitties didn't get the chance to experience. It can be difficult at times reading the sorrow others here are enduring but I take these opportunities to not only relate but to also reach inside myself and remember what all my cats meant to me and how so very precious their short lives were to me.

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i know how you feel too. I am only 23, but have lost 4 cats plus a foster in the last three years. The first two went 8 months apart, the last two went 5 months apart, and the foster went between. People ask me how i can keep taking on older cats knowing i am going to have to go through the heartbreak again, but your last sentence sums up how i cope. The reason i take them on is i want to give oldies the love, attention and care they deserve, and i am proud that i have been able to do it for so many. I know it is going to devastate me when my male goes, and he is 14 now. I have only had him just short of 3 years, but he is the spitting image of my childhood cat, so it is going to be really hard.

I also struggle to make friends (although forums are a good place), and after being stung with housemates leaving and owing money, i have decided that the only people to live in my spare bedroom are foster cats, and nearly a year on, it is going very well.

to you my friend.... never feel obligated to post here - everyone knows that all members of TCS are with us during our moments of difficulty and pain

grief is an amazing thing - it effects each of us in a different way.
I come into this blue room and cry the whole time I am here, somewhere I find the strength however to post something, but I am not sure where that strength comes from. I am not sure if my words are ever good, but I do hope they help in some way.

I send you hugs, for I know that must have been hard for you.

Originally Posted by sadisticookie

Sometimes when I look at my two cats I wonder how I'm going to get through it when I lose them eventually. With each loss it takes so much out of you that you literally feel almost soul-weak.

I grew up having cats as my best friends because I was not good at making child friends (I was and still am very shy). I relied on my cats for friendship, comfort, support and unconditional love when I felt I had nobody else to turn to.

My dad had the twisted notion that once kittens grew into mature cats able to breed he would put them in the trunk of the car and haul them off onto old dirt roads in the middle of nowhere. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I relate to you in the sense that we lost so many beloved pets in such a short amount of time that it leaves so much pain and grief in our hearts.

Now that I am an adult with complete control over my life I still feel those old wounds from time to time but at least now when I lose my kitties I know I tried my best to give them a great life..something my childhood kitties didn't get the chance to experience. It can be difficult at times reading the sorrow others here are enduring but I take these opportunities to not only relate but to also reach inside myself and remember what all my cats meant to me and how so very precious their short lives were to me.

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I cry the whole time, too, and I feel bad some cause I cannot bring myself to read all of the posts. I feel so deeply and realy pray for all who lose dear pets.

Originally Posted by huggles

to you my friend.... never feel obligated to post here - everyone knows that all members of TCS are with us during our moments of difficulty and pain

grief is an amazing thing - it effects each of us in a different way.
I come into this blue room and cry the whole time I am here, somewhere I find the strength however to post something, but I am not sure where that strength comes from. I am not sure if my words are ever good, but I do hope they help in some way.

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Oh, Phendric726, just the fact that you read the posts & feel sympathy & compassion is often enough! I'm not sure how to explain what I'm trying to say, but I believe just as MyBabies does,about God & Heaven,etc. So, I'd like to share a story that confirms my belief. here goes - My daughter, who has left-brain damage & suffers a severe speech impediment and major depression, had recently become very happy, almost like she'd fallen in love. Anyway, she makes jewelry with letter-beads of names, sayings, etc. that she likes & I noticed that she was wearing the name of a girl that I didn't recognize. When I asked who the person was, she told me that the name belonged to an angel that comes to her at night. She told me that the angel said she got killed in a car accident & that she was 21 when she died. As my daughter explained this, our kitten JC and my grandson's cat, Icy, both got up and began rubbing & showering my daughter with attention (unusual for Icy, since Icy & my daughter's cat, Christy, don't get along. At the risk of sounding like a nut, I Googled the name & lo and behold! there was a short page about the girl, who was a little known actress who'd been killed years before, in a car accident!! Now, my hubby thinks that my daughter, who was very young when the girl died, must have somehow run across a news release, or something, years ago & it stayed in her mind. but I prefer to use this to confirm my belief that only the mortal remains die & souls & spirits remain. And I believe that when our beloved pets cross RB, our sad tears & thoughts reach Heaven, and our Wonderful Creator greets them & tells them something like, "Hear how much you are missed? You gave love & made your people so happy - Come home to your reward, you good & faithful servant!!" Sorry this is so long, and I hope it makes sense...Hugs, Susan