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What mom taught me

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times Don't exaggerate!!!"

"Stop acting like your father!"

MOM taught me about ENVY:

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

And most of all ..... MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world-and I can take you out."
post #2 of 9
:LOL: :tounge2: :laughing: I've heard more than one of those over the years from my mom!
post #3 of 9
Who taped my mom saying those things over the years? We had boxing gloves for all 4 of us and got set out back more than once to settle an issue of importance - like who was picking the tv show. etc!
post #4 of 9

That was hysterical! I've heard more than one of those from my mother. Brings back memories.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2
post #5 of 9
That is just hillarious....so many of those have been used by my mum when I was growing up especial time travel
post #6 of 9
Sound just like what I told my kids when raising them...
post #7 of 9
I've seen that before but it SOOOOO funny!!! I can SO relate to "Mom taught me LOGIC" - "because I said so!" ha ha ha ha ha ha......(Which I always used to follow with "yeah, but why? ...but why?.... yeah, but why?" - this was NOT a good idea!!! :laughing: )
Thanks for tha laugh AP!
post #8 of 9

Great find and post! I hadn't seen that before...although I've heard it all first-hand

post #9 of 9
Yeah Bill... but you still miss that dirt behind your ears!! Eeeew gross!!! :tounge2:
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