It's not her - it's ME!!!

no i'm afraid to stare directly into her eyes in case she thinks i'm being confrontational!

i did kiss her back yesterday. wow....she's soooo soft. I can't wait to put a picture up here of her, especially when she's doing the "aren't i cute" on her back thing.

i can't wait till she's comfortable with me, enough so i can inspect her, look at her teeth, look inside her ears, kiss her all over and rub her belly and pick her up. i'm mean, if i was brave i could probably do it now, but as we can see from the previous pages, i'm not so brave!

i'm also trying to wean her off the friskies....maybe her behavior will change when she gets better food.....right now i feed her 80% friskies and 20% Nutro nice stuff. Plus Nutro wet in the morning. I don't think she's likes the Nutro wet, so I will go for the Wellness wet which i fed my other cat which she LOVED.

That is great that you are switching off the bad food onto a good quality food. Few people realize how important that is.

I am sure someone has told you by now that animals can sense your fear or anxiety and react on that. So if you are all nervous and jittery and grabbing things out from under her, she knows something is wrong and wants you to leave her alone. My cats hiss or growl often, either at each other or at me if I catch them off guard, but they are all talk. I kiss my cat Noir on the nose when she growls and then she relaxes. One of my other cats HATES to be picked up so it is hard to clip her claws. When that time comes, she screams bloody murder but she won't lay a claw or tooth on me. She never bites or scratches.

Just give her time, some cats take longer then others. Be patient and don't go into the room shes is in as a nervous wreck.

Well, she's definatley more comfortable now!
She RAN around the apartment this morning which i was happy about. I guess she's feeling comfortable. She also meowed at me a few times in a conversational way which she has barely done before. All in all, slowly things are getting so much better. I'm way less afraid of her and she seems to love me.
Her personality seems to be coming out more - she's a little princess!!!
I'm sooo relieved......wow, i was REALLY freaking out there for a bit!

She is sooo cute, I do love her already

So happy for the two of you!!

Please post pics of your new love when you can. Would love to see her.

ok, here she is - doesn't she look mean! ha ha. Anyways, I'm "trying" to like her, its just not coming easily. Its almost like i'm pretending to like her. I hope this feeling goes away soon....

Oh!...she is a very pretty girl!!

I love her long whiskers and it looks like her markings are very pretty too.

Hope your bond is getting tighter with her and easier for you. Is she still sleeping with you? Bonking you?

Originally Posted by leesali

Oh!...she is a very pretty girl!!

I love her long whiskers and it looks like her markings are very pretty too.

Hope your bond is getting tighter with her and easier for you. Is she still sleeping with you? Bonking you?

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She is still sleeping with me. No, my bond with her is not getting any tighter. Like I said above, i feel like i'm pretending to like her, like i'm trying to like her, but i kind of don't like her! I have no idea why, i really don't know what's wrong with me. It makes me feel so sad and guilty.

Have you had other cats before her? I'm sorry that you don't feel tighter with her. Do you play with her?

I mean it is all still sort-of new with the 2 of you having one and other...just over a week I believe? Don't feel guilty about not having instant love...it will come.

Originally Posted by leesali

Have you had other cats before her? I'm sorry that you don't feel tighter with her. Do you play with her?

I mean it is all still sort-of new with the 2 of you having one and other...just over a week I believe? Don't feel guilty about not having instant love...it will come.

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Yeah, I had one cat before her. Man did I ever love her soooo much I would have died for her!

I haven't played with Callie yet. Yeah, tomorrow it will have been a week. Maybe i'll go home and play with her tonite if she's up for it.

I don't know, I just expected an instant bond. I'm just worried maybe I"ll never get to like her.....

Though it is rarely spoken about due to the shame involved, oftentimes human moms and dads do not bond immediately with their babies after childbirth. So it stands to reason it can take time with ours pets. It will come eventually...everyone has their own bond-o-meter!

Well, its time to say goodbye.

After a week of stress and this pit of anxiety in my stomach day after day, and a 5 lb weight loss - I am saying goodbye to Callie, and goodbye to these boards. I'm giving Callie back to her original owner as things just aren't working out for us.

I'm a little sad, but honestly - we're just not right for each other. I will be sad to leave these boards too!

Thanks for all your support and advice, and take care everyone!

I am sorry you are giving up on her. I suspect she was not treated right in her original home- no matter what the owner says. When someone is getting rid of an older cat, they are usually not forthcoming as to why.

I am also sorry you are letting her intimidate you. She picks that up easily and uses it to make you keep your distance. It is a defense mechanism that many cats who have lived outside, or inside and ignored use.

I wish you would give her and you a chance. She is a beautiful girl- but you are expecting to much of her to quickly. She has to adjust to her new life, the smells the sounds and all and it just takes time-

I thought I made a new thread wtih a different title, but it ended up in the "Its not her, its me" thread and I wanted you to all know what happened and how much I appreciated your support and help. So forgive me if you have already read this (and responded - Hissy).

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Well, its time to say goodbye.

After a week of stress and this pit of anxiety in my stomach day after day, and a 5 lb weight loss - I am saying goodbye to Callie, and goodbye to these boards. I'm giving Callie back to her original owner as things just aren't working out for us.

I'm a little sad, but honestly - we're just not right for each other. I will be sad to leave these boards too!

Thanks for all your support and advice, and take care everyone!

Awwww....really sorry to hear that.

I hope things work out for your. Best wishes.

I'm really sorry that things didn't work out between you & Callie. Honestly, if I was close in proximity, I would come get her for myself...she looks sweet and like she may have had a rough beginning.

Wishing the two of you good luck.

I merged your threads so people could understand the whole story. I have already posted my thoughts in your other thread. I think you are blowing this way out of proportion and not giving yourself enough credit that you can bond with this cat. But if you are becoming a nervous wreck and losing weight, then cat ownership is not for you. They are supposed to be good for your health and your soul, not bad for you.

I wish you the best in your life

Originally Posted by hissy

I merged your threads so people could understand the whole story. I have already posted my thoughts in your other thread. I think you are blowing this way out of proportion and not giving yourself enough credit that you can bond with this cat. But if you are becoming a nervous wreck and losing weight, then cat ownership is not for you. They are supposed to be good for your health and your soul, not bad for you.

I wish you the best in your life

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Actually, if this cat works as weight loss, plenty of people would want it. Just a little joke. If I had a cat that made me lose weight-it would be a keeper.

It's kind of hard to understand why the poster had such an anxiety over the cat, from the description of what the cat was doing. Sounds more like some sort of anxiety disorder than reaction to a cat to me.

Originally Posted by elizwithcat

It's kind of hard to understand why the poster had such an anxiety over the cat, from the description of what the cat was doing. Sounds more like some sort of anxiety disorder than reaction to a cat to me.

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I'm still here (today at least). I have never had a reaction like that to a cat before, so it was probably a combination of personal anxiety and a reaction to the cat.
I'm glad you all feel like you could deal with it - and that's great for you, but not for me. I just couldn't deal with a cat hissing at me for no reason constantly and looking as if she was going to bite me every time i pet her.
Anyway, I wish you all good luck and happiness with your pets, and maybe one day I will find a great cat that I'm comfortable with.

Originally Posted by journey

I'm still here (today at least). I have never had a reaction like that to a cat before, so it was probably a combination of personal anxiety and a reaction to the cat.
I'm glad you all feel like you could deal with it - and that's great for you, but not for me. I just couldn't deal with a cat hissing at me for no reason constantly and looking as if she was going to bite me every time i pet her.
Anyway, I wish you all good luck and happiness with your pets, and maybe one day I will find a great cat that I'm comfortable with.

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I didn't mean it in a negative way, but a lot of people suffer from anxiety disorders. Obviously, nobody would know better than you if the cat was really the root of the problem.

Let's face it...not every cat - person combo is a match made in cat heaven. Sometimes, sadly, it just doesn't work out. For whatever reasons. I'm hoping maybe another time, another cat, perhaps it'll work out for journey. Meantime, let's hope for a good life for Callie, too.