Hi all. This is going to be a long one. Thought Id warn ya. Tried posting here a week ago but I was crying too much.
Caesar died May 13, 2005. The day of my college graduation, thus far the worst day of my life. He was 1 year and 9 months. I adopted him and his brother, Julius, when they were 3 months old from a lady who owned their mother. I originaly was only going to get Caesar because he was so calm when picked up, unlike his biting and scratching little (size wise) brother. But it dawned on me that seperating them was cruel.
I must admit that originaly they were more of a curiosity than anything else. Both boys have big orangy/yellow eyes with jet black fur. Very beautiful. Caesar had medium lenght fur and more of a stocky built. Julius is about 4lbs lighter with a short coat.
When Caesar was around 1 something happened to him were he just wouldn't eat his dry food and vommited several times per day. This went on for about 3 days, he had lost weight. He would eat, but very little. I ended up giving him Tuna which he gobbled down very fast. After that he recovered within a day and all was well.
Come April 28, 2005: Last two weeks of college...very hectic, very busy, barely sleeping, studying, group meetings..(this is what I tell myself to ease the blame I feel). The cats were out of food so my mother picked up another brand they usualy dont eat. She came home that night and a few minutes after my boys ate the new food, Caesar threw up. Julius loved it. The next day we bought them their usualy food, (Nutro Max Cat Hairball control). After eating this Caesar threw up again. For a few day I assumed Caesars stomach didnt care for the new food and thats why he threw up. And when he threw up his old food I was puzzled (but this had happened before when he was 1), but thought the new food must have done something to him. I remember complaining to my Mother about buying the cheap stuff that then caused him to throw up. I would feed him cooked chicken every day, and he would eat that. He wasnt eating much, but at least I thought, he was eating. From April 28 to May 13 I remember seing him throw up 5 times. And all this time he acted like his wonderfull normal self. Chasing his brother, waking us up in the morning, jumping on counters, etc..
Before I knew it, it was May 13. I honest to God cannot explain how in Gods name I let 2 weeks go by before taking him to the vet. I only later realized after he died, in horror, that it had been 2 weeks by looking at my mothers online bank statement showing the date of her purchase of the new food.
May 13 was a Friday, morning of my graduation. This was the day that I noticed something wrong with him. He seemed out of it, and I decided to take him to the vet after graduation. I took him to the vet immediatly after I noticed something wrong with him. This happened before, he did this before and ended up being fine. We came home from graduation just 3 hours later, I noticed Caesar was in the same spot where he was in the morning, that was odd.
May 13 was the day I noticed something wrong with him Physicaly, and I took him to the vet.
I didnt realize it had been 2 weeks since he stopped eating regulary until after he died. I didnt realize how thin he was because in those last two weeks I was so pre-occupied with my life that I never picked him up and his medium lenght fur made it not obvious.
I took him to the vet, vet said he was in bad shape. Wanted to put him on fluids, do bloodwork, xray etc..I agreed to let him stay overnight.
Two hours later the vet calls me and says. "I dont have good news for you."
I thought to myself in those seconds he probably has some serious illness or something. Not in a million years would I have thought he was dead. The vet said, "We lost Caesar." I remember losing composure, bursting into tears and telling my mother, "Caesar died." I wasnt able to talk, the vet said she would call back in 5.
She said they tried taking blood from him from his neck, but he wouldnt let them and tried to bite. They gave him a tranqulizer, tried putting IV into him. Apparently his weak, malnuritied and dehydrated body wasnt able to handle the stress. His breathing increased, he appeared to have an anxiety attack, and his heart stopped. She said they tried doing CPR on him, to no avail.
My mother tells me at least he didnt suffer, he wasnt hit by a car and such.
Oh my baby did suffer, for two weeks he suffered. How can I have neglected him so, how? Did I not love him? I think I did, I cried constantly for 2 weeks after he died. I barely ate, barely slept, food lost its flavor, life became meaningless. I would give my right arm to hear his meow only once more.
Why did I not check to see if he was using the litter box? Why did I not pick him up more? How did become so pre-occupied with myself that I negelcted that which meant so much to me? Why didnt I check to see if he was drinking? Why did I not take him to the vet sooner? Had I taken him just one day sooner he probaby would have lived. Why God, why? I'm so so sorry Caesar.
My parents tell me all of us were fooled into thinking he was fine, his behaviour did not change, besides not eating alot (I know). I remember when he threw up one time, tears came from his eyes. I remember looking at him...thats it. It did not occur to me the pain he must have felt, the pain that demanded immediate medical care. I dont know why. Oh God I dont know why. Those two weeks went by so fast, I didnt realize it had been 2 weeks.
My neglect killed him. For two weeks I allowed him to go on barely eating. I didnt know that a 10% reduction in water in a cats body can be fatal. I didnt know about the poison that is called dry food, causing IBD and cauing my cat not to eat. I let my baby die of starvation and dehydration. My poor little Julius, he is without his brother. Curse me God, curse me.
It was supposed to be just us three guys, I planned on moving out in the fall. Life is cruel. My heart is broken, I dont think it will ever heal. My dear little Caesar, my boy, please forgive me.
Caesar died May 13, 2005. The day of my college graduation, thus far the worst day of my life. He was 1 year and 9 months. I adopted him and his brother, Julius, when they were 3 months old from a lady who owned their mother. I originaly was only going to get Caesar because he was so calm when picked up, unlike his biting and scratching little (size wise) brother. But it dawned on me that seperating them was cruel.
I must admit that originaly they were more of a curiosity than anything else. Both boys have big orangy/yellow eyes with jet black fur. Very beautiful. Caesar had medium lenght fur and more of a stocky built. Julius is about 4lbs lighter with a short coat.
When Caesar was around 1 something happened to him were he just wouldn't eat his dry food and vommited several times per day. This went on for about 3 days, he had lost weight. He would eat, but very little. I ended up giving him Tuna which he gobbled down very fast. After that he recovered within a day and all was well.
Come April 28, 2005: Last two weeks of college...very hectic, very busy, barely sleeping, studying, group meetings..(this is what I tell myself to ease the blame I feel). The cats were out of food so my mother picked up another brand they usualy dont eat. She came home that night and a few minutes after my boys ate the new food, Caesar threw up. Julius loved it. The next day we bought them their usualy food, (Nutro Max Cat Hairball control). After eating this Caesar threw up again. For a few day I assumed Caesars stomach didnt care for the new food and thats why he threw up. And when he threw up his old food I was puzzled (but this had happened before when he was 1), but thought the new food must have done something to him. I remember complaining to my Mother about buying the cheap stuff that then caused him to throw up. I would feed him cooked chicken every day, and he would eat that. He wasnt eating much, but at least I thought, he was eating. From April 28 to May 13 I remember seing him throw up 5 times. And all this time he acted like his wonderfull normal self. Chasing his brother, waking us up in the morning, jumping on counters, etc..
Before I knew it, it was May 13. I honest to God cannot explain how in Gods name I let 2 weeks go by before taking him to the vet. I only later realized after he died, in horror, that it had been 2 weeks by looking at my mothers online bank statement showing the date of her purchase of the new food.
May 13 was a Friday, morning of my graduation. This was the day that I noticed something wrong with him. He seemed out of it, and I decided to take him to the vet after graduation. I took him to the vet immediatly after I noticed something wrong with him. This happened before, he did this before and ended up being fine. We came home from graduation just 3 hours later, I noticed Caesar was in the same spot where he was in the morning, that was odd.
May 13 was the day I noticed something wrong with him Physicaly, and I took him to the vet.
I didnt realize it had been 2 weeks since he stopped eating regulary until after he died. I didnt realize how thin he was because in those last two weeks I was so pre-occupied with my life that I never picked him up and his medium lenght fur made it not obvious.
I took him to the vet, vet said he was in bad shape. Wanted to put him on fluids, do bloodwork, xray etc..I agreed to let him stay overnight.
Two hours later the vet calls me and says. "I dont have good news for you."
I thought to myself in those seconds he probably has some serious illness or something. Not in a million years would I have thought he was dead. The vet said, "We lost Caesar." I remember losing composure, bursting into tears and telling my mother, "Caesar died." I wasnt able to talk, the vet said she would call back in 5.
She said they tried taking blood from him from his neck, but he wouldnt let them and tried to bite. They gave him a tranqulizer, tried putting IV into him. Apparently his weak, malnuritied and dehydrated body wasnt able to handle the stress. His breathing increased, he appeared to have an anxiety attack, and his heart stopped. She said they tried doing CPR on him, to no avail.
My mother tells me at least he didnt suffer, he wasnt hit by a car and such.
Oh my baby did suffer, for two weeks he suffered. How can I have neglected him so, how? Did I not love him? I think I did, I cried constantly for 2 weeks after he died. I barely ate, barely slept, food lost its flavor, life became meaningless. I would give my right arm to hear his meow only once more.
Why did I not check to see if he was using the litter box? Why did I not pick him up more? How did become so pre-occupied with myself that I negelcted that which meant so much to me? Why didnt I check to see if he was drinking? Why did I not take him to the vet sooner? Had I taken him just one day sooner he probaby would have lived. Why God, why? I'm so so sorry Caesar.
My parents tell me all of us were fooled into thinking he was fine, his behaviour did not change, besides not eating alot (I know). I remember when he threw up one time, tears came from his eyes. I remember looking at him...thats it. It did not occur to me the pain he must have felt, the pain that demanded immediate medical care. I dont know why. Oh God I dont know why. Those two weeks went by so fast, I didnt realize it had been 2 weeks.
My neglect killed him. For two weeks I allowed him to go on barely eating. I didnt know that a 10% reduction in water in a cats body can be fatal. I didnt know about the poison that is called dry food, causing IBD and cauing my cat not to eat. I let my baby die of starvation and dehydration. My poor little Julius, he is without his brother. Curse me God, curse me.
It was supposed to be just us three guys, I planned on moving out in the fall. Life is cruel. My heart is broken, I dont think it will ever heal. My dear little Caesar, my boy, please forgive me.
