Ok, I have a better idea of what she's like now. It sounds like she can be affectionate when she wants to, while other times she seems spooked. Am I correct?
Eva is like this, too. She especially doesn't like being approached when she's walking on the floor. She's ok if she's lying on the floor, and she's fine when she's on the bed or on the couch (standing or sitting), but standing on the floor, no good--she'll flee. So, we've basically learned her boundaries--don't approach when she's standing on the floor, don't pick her up (she likes her feet firmly planted on the ground), leave her alone when she's acting spooked (for whatever reason).
Another thing I've learned is, if I approach her to pet her (rather than when she comes to me) I first hold out my hand, palm to the floor, and allow her to sniff. The palm-down position is non-threatening (I can't grab her), and she can check out my hand for new smells, or to see if there's something there. Then I slowly pet her in her favorite places.
It sounds like your girl doesn't need remedial ignoring therapy
, though. The more you can act on her cues, the more relaxed she will be. And if it really bothers you, you could try the Feliway diffuser that is so highly recommended on these boards (though I've never tried it).