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Have you EVER heard such a thing?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
Okay, here's the story...

My in-laws, well last year they combined their two kids' birthday into one big celebration. Not so unusual I guess (though I don't agree with it) -- though it gets weirder...

The older ones birthday in 2 months after the younger one.

And weirder yet...

They asked us last year not to buy the kids gifts, but to chip in money to pay for a special bouncy moonwalk thing that the older one wanted at the party. These people have money... so that should NOT have been an issue.

And now weider yet...

I just today got an invitation to the older ones birthday party THIS year. It's scheduled for a few weeks from now. No biggy, right?

Her ACTUAL birthday is not for another three months!!!

Is it just me, or is it completely bizarre to change your kid's birthday to a date you like better??? I have never in my whole life heard of such a thing. Sure, two weeks prior or after I can understand for scheduling reasons, I'll give you that... but MONTHS ahead of time??? This kid is YOUNG, so she is NOT the one asking for this...

My daughter made a funny comment... by the time the kid is turning 9 we'll be celebrating her 10th birthday!

So is it just me?
post #2 of 22
i dont think its right that they combine the bdays...unless both kids agree. They should not have wanted you to chip in to the bouncy thing (ohhh man those are fun). But on the movie b-day thing....is it the parents choice or the kids? cuz my bdays in the winter and i have asked to have a summer party so we can do something other then a movie or sledding
post #3 of 22
It is bizarre!
post #4 of 22
It IS strange. Tell your inlaws (well, I would) that with all the changes they're making, you forgot their kids' ACTUAL birthdate!
post #5 of 22
Thread Starter 
It's not the kid's choice. My neices b-day isn't in the middle of winter either... it's in the fall (nice weather here) - as opposed to when they will be celebrating, which will be roasting hot (and it's not a pool party). This is purely mom and dad for some reason thinking mid summer is better than mid fall.

Quote:
Tell your inlaws (well, I would) that with all the changes they're making, you forgot their kids' ACTUAL birthdate
Do you know I had to actually ask my other SIL, because when I got the invitation I thought I MUST be wrong in thinking her bday is 3 months from when they want the party. No one could be that... uh... strange.

Mind you, they aren't combining the kids parties this year... they are simply just moving the older kids birthday to 3 months before it actually is. The other kids bday will be when it's supposed to be... 2 months from now.
post #6 of 22
That is a little weird. I want my birthday to be my birthday, not have it randomly changed from October to June because the weather is warmer! I wonder if this is a common thing? My family will often do a major family celebration that sort of combines birthdays- as well as individual birthday celebrations, if that makes sense. We just like to have cookouts really. So we'll have a regular birthday celebration when it is someone's birthday, and also get everyone together at kind of a midway point for a cookout and cake just for the heck of it.
post #7 of 22
Asking for you to chip in for a bouncy thing?????? That's the strangest part!!

My son's birthday is the first week of May but we always give him a swim party so we have to wait until the water warms up. Ideally, we'd like to do it 2 or 3 weeks later but we have Mother's Day and Memorial Day to plan around so the last 2 years, he had his party the first weekend in June. This year, we did it the weekend BEFORE Memorial Day and the water was still too cold. The kids were chilled but still insisted on swimming.

Look at it this way, at least they don't expect you to buy 2 presents...one for the party and one for their real birthday!
post #8 of 22
That is ultra weird!

My birthday is so special to me and I wouldn't want it on another day!
post #9 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
Asking for you to chip in for a bouncy thing?????? That's the strangest part!!
Actually, given the amount of money their dad makes (more than me and my husband COMBINED), it's the most obnoxious part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
My son's birthday is the first week of May but we always give him a swim party so we have to wait until the water warms up. Ideally, we'd like to do it 2 or 3 weeks later but we have Mother's Day and Memorial Day to plan around so the last 2 years, he had his party the first weekend in June. This year, we did it the weekend BEFORE Memorial Day and the water was still too cold. The kids were chilled but still insisted on swimming.

Look at it this way, at least they don't expect you to buy 2 presents...one for the party and one for their real birthday!
But see, your reason actually makes sense! Going from October to July makes NO sense to me... it's not even CLOSE to the kid's birthday!


Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
That is ultra weird!

My birthday is so special to me and I wouldn't want it on another day!
I agree with ya!
But imagine the confusion... This kid is only 5. So for her 4th birthday it was when it was supposed to be... October. For her 5th it was in August. For her upcoming 6th it will now be in July.

My daughter is right... by the time she's turning 9 we'll be celebrating her 10th birthday!
post #10 of 22
I've just gotta know.......what is the reason that they give you for picking a different month and day every year?

Maybe next time they ask you to chip in on the entertainment for the party you should invite your child's friends as well without telling them.....afterall, you are paying for it. (I'm being very sarcastic here - in all honesty if someone asked me to do that, I wouldn't go!)
post #11 of 22
It's not wierd to me, although I'm a triplet and hadn't had a birthday to "myself" until I went to college. I must say I disagree with combining the 2 birthdays. Let them have thier own speical day.
post #12 of 22
It is a bit strange!
One of my sisters has 4 kids the 2 girls birthday are a week apart(in the spring) and the 2 boys birthdays are a week apart (in the fall), she has combined the parties for the girls and the boys but it's usually within the week of the birthdays, but I think kids need to celebrate their own birthday as their own special day...if they're not a twin, ect.
post #13 of 22
I think they are trying to save money by having one party instead of two???
I personally thinks that its rude to be asked to chip in for something like they suggested. Either they can afford it or they can't.
Rant here: I think there are lots of people out there really spluring on their young children. One of my co-workers said here daughter was going to be upset if her 3 YEAR OLD didn't get a Dora the Explorer backpack!! Come on-she's 3!! Does anyone one remember their 3rd birthday???

oops sorry to get off subject!
post #14 of 22
It's very bad manners to ask for money to help get that bouncey thing. RUDE! I wouldn't throw a party unless I could pay for everything. I would never dream of asking people to help chip in and I'm pretty sure I make way less than the moneybags daddy who asked for ppl to help pay to bounce around.

So that part was rude.

Re: combining birthdays; that is a poopy thing to do to a child. A birthday is a VERY SPECIAL day and should be celebrated JUST for that child. Saving money or not, paugh!!!!!!! The child herself should be celebrated. They shouldn't combine it (like a freaking combo meal) with another child's birthday.

My daughter's birthday is 10 days before Christmas. I ALWAYS have separated Jesus' big day apart from HER big day, for the past 8 yrs. Her birthday is a fun time for us, just like Christmas. I'd never dream of combining 2 birthdays to 'save money'. That's just lewd. Birthdays are special occasions, not a time to bilk money from partygoers.
post #15 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC
Rant here: I think there are lots of people out there really spluring on their young children.
Birthday parties are expensive that why we always give our son a swimming party in our own backyard. That way we don't have to rent a bouncy thing or pay out of the you know what to McD's or Chucky Cheese or some other kid oriented place like that. We probably spend about $50 on the party.....we buy the kids little "treats" form the dollar store to bring home and serve hot dogs b/c they do get hungry when swimming.

A friend of mine always goes all out ($200 & up) on renting things or having the party at places. Then she tells me how expensive it is to have the parties there.

The way that I look at it is like this: I didn't have fabulous parties when I was a child, they were held in our backyard with pinatas and such or water sprinklers etc and I turned out just fine so my son will too. (He'll probably appreciate us more when he grows up too!)
post #16 of 22
The only time I would even consider 'combining' two birthdays is when they are within the same month. My sisters and S.O.'s birthdays are 4 days apart,so we pick one day for a big family get together,yet on their seperate birthdays they still get a cake,presents etc.
It seems to me that they are being cheap.
post #17 of 22
It does seem weird, but one of my nephews, whose birthday is January 7th, started to request its postponement when he was 7 (he's 17 now). He likes to celebrate it on or around his younger sister's birthday (April 24th). His reasoning is that the weather is better for parties, and birthday presents given on January 7th aren't very special, because it's too close to Christmas. So he and his sister get their gifts on her birthday.
She's used to having her birthday combined with others', since her uncle's birthday is April 25th, her father's April 26th, and her grandfather's April 27th. Not to mention Jamie's on April 28th!
post #18 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
I've just gotta know.......what is the reason that they give you for picking a different month and day every year?

Maybe next time they ask you to chip in on the entertainment for the party you should invite your child's friends as well without telling them.....afterall, you are paying for it. (I'm being very sarcastic here - in all honesty if someone asked me to do that, I wouldn't go!)
No reason this year.
Last year they wanted to combine the two kid's birthdays (even though they are 2 months apart) because "the weather is nicer in August" (that's when the younger's b-day is).

Quote:
Originally Posted by eburgess
It's not wierd to me, although I'm a triplet and hadn't had a birthday to "myself" until I went to college. I must say I disagree with combining the 2 birthdays. Let them have thier own speical day.
Wow! One of a triplet eh? I can imagine that a combined bday is nothing new to you... of course, for you, it's completely logical -- and I agree... kids should celebrate their birthday on (or at least AROUND) their own birthday, for their own day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormy
It is a bit strange!
One of my sisters has 4 kids the 2 girls birthday are a week apart(in the spring) and the 2 boys birthdays are a week apart (in the fall), she has combined the parties for the girls and the boys but it's usually within the week of the birthdays, but I think kids need to celebrate their own birthday as their own special day...if they're not a twin, ect.
And your scenario makes sense too, since the kids bdays are so close together. Though I think they should have their own separate day, I can completely understand why their mom would combine them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC
I think they are trying to save money by having one party instead of two???
I personally thinks that its rude to be asked to chip in for something like they suggested. Either they can afford it or they can't.
Rant here: I think there are lots of people out there really spluring on their young children. One of my co-workers said here daughter was going to be upset if her 3 YEAR OLD didn't get a Dora the Explorer backpack!! Come on-she's 3!! Does anyone one remember their 3rd birthday???
I'd agree with you on the money-saving thing if money were an issue. But seeing as he bought two new expensive cars and had a very expensive home renovation done prior to the party (which he had the luxury of paying cash), money isn't the issue.

I SO agree how rude it is to ask us to chip in for party entertainment... especially considering they have more money than my family! I could understand if they were doing everything to save money just for the party and were strapped and needed some help buying food or something (if they were having financial trouble and were making the effort to make the party affordable) -- but see above, and the fact they were having an all-out shin-dig and absolutely no financial problems.

They are simply obnoxious when it come to money.

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkeyedgirl
It's very bad manners to ask for money to help get that bouncey thing. RUDE! I wouldn't throw a party unless I could pay for everything. I would never dream of asking people to help chip in and I'm pretty sure I make way less than the moneybags daddy who asked for ppl to help pay to bounce around.

So that part was rude.

Re: combining birthdays; that is a poopy thing to do to a child. A birthday is a VERY SPECIAL day and should be celebrated JUST for that child. Saving money or not, paugh!!!!!!! The child herself should be celebrated. They shouldn't combine it (like a freaking combo meal) with another child's birthday.

My daughter's birthday is 10 days before Christmas. I ALWAYS have separated Jesus' big day apart from HER big day, for the past 8 yrs. Her birthday is a fun time for us, just like Christmas. I'd never dream of combining 2 birthdays to 'save money'. That's just lewd. Birthdays are special occasions, not a time to bilk money from partygoers.
I SO agree with you! I already told my husband that in the future, if they ask to borrow money for something like this (not something that's a necessity, and not when they have buttloads of money themselves already) to simply them absolutely not. And DEFINITELY never at the expense of the kid. "Don't buy my kids gifts but chip in for the party instead" -- come on! These are LITTLE kids... they want presents from their aunts and uncles, not cash to pay for their party.

Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine
Birthday parties are expensive that why we always give our son a swimming party in our own backyard. That way we don't have to rent a bouncy thing or pay out of the you know what to McD's or Chucky Cheese or some other kid oriented place like that. We probably spend about $50 on the party.....we buy the kids little "treats" form the dollar store to bring home and serve hot dogs b/c they do get hungry when swimming.

A friend of mine always goes all out ($200 & up) on renting things or having the party at places. Then she tells me how expensive it is to have the parties there.

The way that I look at it is like this: I didn't have fabulous parties when I was a child, they were held in our backyard with pinatas and such or water sprinklers etc and I turned out just fine so my son will too. (He'll probably appreciate us more when he grows up too!)
You hit the nail on the head. I've been doing my daughter's partys at home for the most part since she was born. Only one or two years did we do it at "a place" and each time is was a very small group (she could pick 3 or 4 or her closest friends). And wouldn't you figure it, one of the only years we decided to do it out at a place was in 2001 -- at "Build-A-Bear" in the mall... the weekend after 9-11. Yeah, we had to cancel the affair, but still had the kids over for cake - and ya know, they had a blast anyway.

I search my mind for the parties I remember the most as a kid and it isn't the ones my parents spents lots of money on. It's the first slumber party I was invited to... the first slumber party I had myself... or the one where I learned how to dunk for apples. Kids have no idea what things cost - what they remember is how much fun they had... and I'm old fashioned. I think it's RUDE to open your gifts after the kids go home (like so often happens at those chucky cheese type places)... and it's MUCH more fun to sit around on the floor with all your best friends and open your gifts!

Quote:
Originally Posted by violetlene
The only time I would even consider 'combining' two birthdays is when they are within the same month. My sisters and S.O.'s birthdays are 4 days apart,so we pick one day for a big family get together,yet on their seperate birthdays they still get a cake,presents etc.
It seems to me that they are being cheap.
Cheap could be part of it... but they aren't combining this year. They are just moving the older one's bday celebration to a date 3 months early. ???? Yeah, I know - it makes no sense. Reason? Haven't heard it yet, but I'll let you know if it's a good one (cause I can't imagine there IS a good reason to just move a kid's birthday). The other kids birthday will be celebrated in August when it's supposed to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat
It does seem weird, but one of my nephews, whose birthday is January 7th, started to request its postponement when he was 7 (he's 17 now). He likes to celebrate it on or around his younger sister's birthday (April 24th). His reasoning is that the weather is better for parties, and birthday presents given on January 7th aren't very special, because it's too close to Christmas. So he and his sister get their gifts on her birthday.
She's used to having her birthday combined with others', since her uncle's birthday is April 25th, her father's April 26th, and her grandfather's April 27th. Not to mention Jamie's on April 28th!
I can understand your neice's being combined with other family members, though it's not exactly the same as a sibling, since I doubt grandpa is tagging along with her friends
But I don't agree with your nephew being allowed to postpone. His birthday in in January, and it isn't about how good the gifts are. My birthday is also in January, and my parents didn't let me just pick another month to celebrate... and it was still always special. You neice should have her own special day, not one her brother gloms onto. No offense of course - just my opinion.


- - - -

Overall, to me, kids should have their own birthday ON their birthday (and their party AROUND their birthday given scheduling for things like weekends). I'll give 2 weeks either way, but beyond that, I think you are teaching the kids the world revolves around them, that they can just pick whenever they want their birthday party. Siblings should each get their own special day... to celebrate the day they were born. Mom's and Dad's should learn to say NO once in a while... it's good for kids -- but that assumes Mom and Dad don't already think the world revolves around THEM.
post #19 of 22
It is weird. I have two kids who's birthdays are 4 days apart. If they were closer I might consider sometimes giving a combined party. This year they will be 17 (ds) and 10 (dd). Not really possible to do a combined party, now is there?

And asking you to pitch in on the cost, too tacky. I'd just respond, "No thank you!" My dd's best friend's Mom, who is a single parent and quite poor, often asks for family and friends to pitch in on a large gift. For example, a trampoline, or money to help pay for her first horse show. But it is just an option. Last weekend she had her 9 y/o party at the American Girl store in Chicago! Talk about wildly expensive! But rather than the usual big crowd, there were just 3 girls invited. It was fun, in a way, but not something I would ever do.
post #20 of 22
How strange!
post #21 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
It is weird. I have two kids who's birthdays are 4 days apart. If they were closer I might consider sometimes giving a combined party. This year they will be 17 (ds) and 10 (dd). Not really possible to do a combined party, now is there?

And asking you to pitch in on the cost, too tacky. I'd just respond, "No thank you!" My dd's best friend's Mom, who is a single parent and quite poor, often asks for family and friends to pitch in on a large gift. For example, a trampoline, or money to help pay for her first horse show. But it is just an option. Last weekend she had her 9 y/o party at the American Girl store in Chicago! Talk about wildly expensive! But rather than the usual big crowd, there were just 3 girls invited. It was fun, in a way, but not something I would ever do.
I hear ya. My kids are 17 (boy) and 11 (girl), so even if their bday was 1 day apart I couldn't (and wouldn't even try to) combine them.

As for the tackiness factor - it's BEYOND tacky. Like I said, if they were having financial problems and really struggling, and not making an all-out huge party with every kid in the neighborhood, and wanted us to chip in for something like food, I could feel okay about it - but a frivoulous "show offy must have" bouncy thing for a 5 year old and a zillion kids (1/2 of which she barely knows) is ridiculous when Dad's got the cash himself to pay for it.

Ya know, another thing...
I certainly HOPE they aren't going to be pissed off when people can't make it. My daughter will be in camp. My other SIL planned a vacation with her friends months ago. My other BIL recently made plans to go away that weekend since his wife will be away with her friends. My mother- and father-in-law may be out of the country (they are waiting for permission to go to cuba and it was delayed, so they might be going in July and they have to go when they can). They surely can't be MAD that the most important people - FAMILY - won't be able to go... none of us anticipating having to keep that weekend open for her birthday since her birthday isn't until the fall!
post #22 of 22
Thats two confusing if you ask me.. Something just doesnt add up. REALLY WEIRD - as my husband would say " THATS BAKED "
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