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Liza's Poetry Thread...

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I wanted to post some of my poetry to get your opinion on it... I've been writing a lot lately as a form of self-expression and development... A lot of my poems never make it to Poetry.com because they are just random thoughts but there are a few that I did post... I'll post the others later.. let me know what you think...

Tear-stained Pillow

...for Adrian

I know I'm nothing in your eyes
despite your words to my painful cries...
I'll never live up to your expectations,
the memories and the old relations


I'm fighting to keep my composure
patiently awaiting a day of closure...
I long for you as you long for her...
Will we ever be as you two were?


I know you dream of her at night...
Don't lie to me or try to fight...
I see the distance in your eyes
while we're layin side-by-side...

I sense your pain and frustration...
trying to hide the contemplation...
Hoping she'll walk back through the door
and everything will be just like before...


So I lay here with you and pretend
one day you'll receive the love I send...
Slowly learning how to shield my heart...
fighting to keep from falling apart...


You'll never really know the pain I feel
though you see the tears I try to conceal...
You'll never understand the cries I bellow
as I lay my head on a tear-stained pillow...


Liza Marie Orsi
post #2 of 19
Bravo!!!! Very good..

You sound like you have a broken heart If this is how you feel my heart goes out to you.. You have talent forsure.
post #3 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaiDreamer
Bravo!!!! Very good..

You sound like you have a broken heart If this is how you feel my heart goes out to you.. You have talent forsure.
My heart breaks more each day... Nothing hurts more than loving someone who doesnt love you yet you're as close to that person as you could possibly be...
post #4 of 19
I had been in a situation in the past where my heart felt like it was breaking everyday, the same pain just deeper, every waking hour would feel so empty, the clocked ticked by so slow it seems and sadness was over whelming. There was really nothing I could do so what I did was write just as you seem too.

I have a journal that I keep I still write every day, my journal is my best friend.

If you are interested in reading some of the stuff I have writen you are welcome to go to Songs of the heart

I feel for you. I really do
post #5 of 19
Thread Starter 
Val, I read your poems... You're very talented... I also checked the rest of your page... Your family is beautiful... and your website is awesome! I'm a computer major so, I'm big into web design and graphics... Cool stuff...
post #6 of 19
I like that poem a lot! Sounds like something I'd write!
post #7 of 19
That is beautiful! I can totally relate to that! Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Malakai711
I wanted to post some of my poetry to get your opinion on it... I've been writing a lot lately as a form of self-expression and development... A lot of my poems never make it to Poetry.com because they are just random thoughts but there are a few that I did post... I'll post the others later.. let me know what you think...

Tear-stained Pillow

...for Adrian

I know I'm nothing in your eyes
despite your words to my painful cries...
I'll never live up to your expectations,
the memories and the old relations


I'm fighting to keep my composure
patiently awaiting a day of closure...
I long for you as you long for her...
Will we ever be as you two were?


I know you dream of her at night...
Don't lie to me or try to fight...
I see the distance in your eyes
while we're layin side-by-side...

I sense your pain and frustration...
trying to hide the contemplation...
Hoping she'll walk back through the door
and everything will be just like before...


So I lay here with you and pretend
one day you'll receive the love I send...
Slowly learning how to shield my heart...
fighting to keep from falling apart...


You'll never really know the pain I feel
though you see the tears I try to conceal...
You'll never understand the cries I bellow
as I lay my head on a tear-stained pillow...


Liza Marie Orsi
post #8 of 19
Thread Starter 
Something I wrote today... Not really feeling well...


Destined Angel?

Lost in the shuffle...
Which way do I turn?
Blinded by darkness,
the future unknown...
Lost in this tunnel...
The world is closing in..
Focused on what's ahead,
trying to forget where I've been...
It's so dark in here...
the walls are closing in...
It's so hard to breathe,
the pain is so deep...
All alone in this coffin,
time to give up and sleep...
Eternity is upon me,
I can finally be free...
Spread my wings and fly,
like the angel I'm destined be...
post #9 of 19
Sending hugs to you , you sound like you need a good friend, an ear to listen to you, a shoulder to weep on . I know that really isn't going to be good enough when the one person you want to be there for you is the one person you are writing about and this person you love so dearly is not. I really feel what you are going through.. You're in my prayers..

Thank you for sharing these poems - there will be lots that can relate..
post #10 of 19
Thread Starter 
This is something that I wrote for Adrian after the first time that he broke down and cried to me about his fears and insecurities...


My Promise
For Adrian

The tears flow like rain down your cheek...
Lying weak in my arms,
I listen as you speak...
The words give light to your deepest fears...
You've been screaming inside
hoping that no one hears...
I've heard the loud cries from your heart...
Seen the pain in your eyes
as you slowly fall apart...
This promise I intend to keep...
I'll never leave your side,
even while you sit and weep...


Liza Marie Orsi
post #11 of 19
Hmm a lot of my poems are about a certain somebody as well.
post #12 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil_Axl_Gurl
Hmm a lot of my poems are about a certain somebody as well.
The words tend to come to me easier about him... Here's one I wrote today about my father...


A Distant Memory

I feel the blood slowly moving through my head...
My heart is aching at the thought of what you said...
Your voice still echoes against the walls of my mind...
The sound constantly replays and rewinds...

You left me standing alone in the street...
With nothing to rely on but my own two feet...
You thought I'd give up and fall apart...
But my will is strong and my mind is smart...

It may not seem that way to you...
it's only evident to a chosen few...
The ones you said would hurt me...
they were there when you refused to be...

You're no longer the wind beneath my wings...
and soon the pain that realization brings
will only be a distant memory...
like the father you used to be...
post #13 of 19
your poems are deep and beautiful!
post #14 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaceyDF
your poems are deep and beautiful!

I second that.. I can't say it any better myself.. You are talented for sure.. What is in your heart surely pours out of your fingers tips and blesses the paper you write on.
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
Thank you both... That means a lot to me... I never really thought I had any talent... I just write what comes to me and sometimes it sounds cheesy when I read it... I have a lot of little ones written in a book that I don't do anything with... Here's one that I found today that actually doesn't sound too bad...

Am I Poison?

Why is my love unwanted?
Is it poison to your heart...
or are your thoughts just haunted
by a love that fell apart?

Why am I not cherished?
Am I poison for your soul...
or has your heart just perished
by a love that couldn't grow?
post #16 of 19
Thats good too.. I wonder how many of us have actually felt like that.. I know I have...
post #17 of 19
wow, girl! you really have talent in poetry!!!

That last one is really good too!!!
post #18 of 19
Thread Starter 
awww thanks girls... sorry i didnt respond sooner... i havent been on in a while...
post #19 of 19
it's alright, Liza!!!
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