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How do you tell a man no? - Page 2

post #31 of 35

Whoa, that's good info Wayne! I'm definitely going to stash something sharp in my bag, but the problem is, is getting to it fast enough. You're right, they used to say don't say anything, but now, who in the world's going to stick around when someone's fighting back and screaming. I think a person's chances are much better to fight back than to wait to see what the end result would be.

post #32 of 35
You know, I just had a version of this discussion on another site, and I got lambasted for giving the advice to fight back. A woman who is a rape crisis counsellor said that lots of attackers like the struggle! Who knew? I guess every situation is different. You will have to judge your attacker if it happens.

Anyway . . .

If you have keys, carry them in your fist with a big one sticking out from between your fingers. Also, a big metal keychain is good to swing - mine has a mountain climbing hook on it, weighs a ton, good for brass knuckles. oops, those are illegal, sorry.

Remember that a woman's strength is in her lower body - and so is a man's vulnerability. Kick and kick and kick again.

A friend of mine who used to teach karate told me that, if you can get two fingers up someone's nostrils, their head will always follow their nose. So noses make a good handle - as in, he has you against a brick wall and you manage to smash his forehead into it.

I don't know about pepper spray - that's illegal in some places too - but a good old air horn is useful. We used to have one as a distress signal when my parents had a boat, so you can imagine it is quite loud. Close to someone's ear, it should at least stun him if not actually blow out an eardrum. And since it doesn't sound like a car alarm, people are pretty likely to at least look.

Hey, let a few of your neighbors know. If he can't get to you at work, he might try to find you at home. Not to scare you, but so you can be prepared.

What an amazing boss you have! There's someone who cares about his employees more than about making the sale. Good for you for speaking up.
post #33 of 35
and I asked him for the most useful moves if I am ever attacked. He said that if you are going to resist, be SERIOUS about it. Here is the advice he gave me. It requires no practice or props.
1. Put your hands on the sides of his head, and gouge out his eyes, from the outside corners in, with your thumbs.
2. Get your teeth up against his throat at his adam's apple, bite down HARD and tear out his windpipe.
3. DON'T EVER GO ANYWHERE. If someone tries to push you into a car, etc, that is the time to fight. Fewer than 2% of victims leave the second scene unharmed. How's that for motivation?
I know these things sound gross, but I firmly belive I could do them if provoked by the thought of rape or death. I think it would be easier to forgive myself for these things than for not fighting hard enough.
post #34 of 35

If you have to walk somewhere alone be prepared. Every day on my way home from work I have to walk down a poorly lit side street that crosses over a ravine. I always have my keys laced thru my right hand (I am right handed) & I am prepared to gouge someone's eyes out if I have too. My sister was sexually assaulted in the neighbourhood a few years back on the steps of our church. She was waiting outside for me at night after a choir practice. If it can happen at a church it can happen anywhere. When you walk somewhere always walk like you have somewhere to go - walk with purpose.
post #35 of 35
I hesitated for a long while before saying anything here since often this type of problem is seen as "only a woman understands". I do appreciate that there are feelings in this issue that ARE particular to women,but at it's base it is intimidation. All of us have had someone try to cow us at one time or another. Certainly with most grown men it's usually more psychological but every boy has had to face a "bully" on the way up. The basic principle is the same.

The "hide or submit" mantra that is preached by the "experts" is a bunch of effete,intellectual crap. It belongs with the wooly headed idea of "negotiating" with the bin Ladens of the world.

It sickens me to see people telling women,or children,that you have to live your life in fear because the freaks have "rights". The police do the best they can,but they cannot be with you 24/7. You have to take responsibility for your own defence.

Certainly it is better to avoid violence and confrontation if possible and there is no one method that will guarantee perfect safety. You still have to use your head and avoid setting yourself up for this type of situation. It amazes me how often women will go partying at a bar or club,get swacked,flirt with every guy in the place and then cry because some guy thinks you're looking for a quickie. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck......

The best advice I can give you is to go take a good course in self-defence. Many YMCA's have them or can recommend one. Many martial arts schools are likewise. You don't have to become a black belt,but actually being able to "practice" with another person will let you see you CAN handle yourself. You will be amazed at your self-confidence levels and how much freer you will feel.

Take your kids along,it's a good lesson for them too. Maybe the young girls will stop dressing like teen-age hookers..but that's a whole different thread.

At any rate I wish you a new year with much less fear.
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