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Should I turn a friend in to Animal Control?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
I wasn't sure if I should put this in IMO or not. One of my friends was "taking care of" her mom's cat, because her mom's husband didn't like the cat. The cat, which she says was neutered, sprayed on my friend's bed. She called her mom to have her take the cat back, which she wouldn't. She didn't want to take the cat to the shelter, because she heard that if you turn a cat in you can't adopt anymore. So she told me, as she was laughing, that she lied to her mom and said she took the cat to her husband's family farm- but what she really did was kick the cat out. She did this previously with a pregnant kitten she had, she had gotten pregnant during her first heat because my friend didn't want to pay for her to be spayed. She let the kitten out and hasn't seen her since. To top it all of, she adopted a dog, only to give it away to a friend, thus violating her adoption contract. She's also tired of her ferret, because she says he won't be litter trained, so she is going to sell him. I know the last two things are legal, but according to the city code the first two are not:

"91.026 ABANDONMENT.

No person shall abandon or cause to be abandoned any animal anywhere within the city limits in any public or private place, way or building. "

Which makes me think that what she has done with those two cats is illegal, specifially the male cat as she deliberatly threw him out and refuses to provide food outside.

I've been bestfriends with this girl for the past 15 years. Her whole family takes this kind of callous attitude towards animals, I saw it as a kid. I made her promise me not to get anymore dogs or cats. She does keep a snake and some kind of lizard, which she treats really well. I have no problem with her keeping these kinds of reptiles, as she's always done so responsibly, but my conscience just won't leave me alone about these cats. When she told me about the kitten it almost made me sick. I just wished I had had the extra money to get her fixed before she got pregnant, but I'm living paycheck to paycheck as it is. I can't imagine how terrified these two cats must be and I doubt the mom cat is still alive. It's been several months for her on her own and my friend hasn't seen her since she "ran away."

Would you report this? Or would you wait to see if she gets another animal? Obviously nothing can be done about these two cats. Would it do any good to turn her in, or would she find out it was me and just hate me. She's going to be my maid of honor for crying out loud. This is just insane to me. I can't imagine how my best friend can treat animals this way. She's an excellent mom and takes great care of her kids, and of her snake and iguana, but cats and dogs seem expendible to her.

I was thinking I'd just wait to see if she got another animal, if she does I will turn her in, or at least alert the shelter to her history. She says she has no plans to get an animal anytime soon.

The kicker is, she volunteers at a local shelter!

Argh, it just keeps getting better and better. God, this is worse than the soap operas I watch.

My mom suggested that I turn her in if and when she gets another animal. What do you all think?
post #2 of 28
I would turn my own mother in if she was that way about animals (thankfully my Mom loves my baby girls.) You can anonymously turn someone in to animal control. I know that our local humane society has a website and they have section where you can do this. Or just phone them and don't give your name. But I would report it. How many more animals are going to have to go through this if you don't. If you report her now then maybe she will be banned from ever doing this again (adopting another animal.)
post #3 of 28
i definentaly would... i have been considering turning my friend in too
post #4 of 28
I would turn her in too. I have a friend who got one of my kittens several yrs ago. I don't know how many litters she had. I know she kept one of those kittens who guess what still has litters. Her very senior blind cat she finally had put down (she was 18) I'm guessing she has at least 4 cats plus a dog. The cats I don't think have gone to the vet. I'm not sure about the dog. But guess what money is there for beer and cigarettes. She was surprised when I got Bakker that I didn't call her. She always has an ad for kittens in the local newspaper. It would solve so many concerns she has if she just not them neutered/spayed!!!
post #5 of 28
I vote for TURNING HER IN!

That's horrible for someone who "claims" to care about animals.
post #6 of 28
If you report her, your friendship will be over, but I suspect that's going to happen anyway. I imagine that I'd threaten to never speak to her again if she adopted another pet, and tell her quite bluntly that I'd also report her to the proper authorities as soon as she abandoned another pet. She may never speak to you again, though. A former friend of mine, somebody I'd known for 25 years, was so insulted when I told her she was abusing her dog (he, a very large mongrel, was confined to her very small kitchen because he "messed up the house", and only let out in the yard three times a day for about ten minutes to do his "business"), that she broke off all contact. I reported her, and the dog was removed from her "care".
As the two cats are "gone", I don't believe that anything can be done at this point by Animal Control, but I might very well be wrong there.
post #7 of 28
Thread Starter 
She was shocked that I took it so seriously, when I told her I'd report her if she did it again. My fiancee and my mom both suggested that I wait and I think that's what I'll do. I see her and talk to her often enough to know whether she has gotten another cat or dog. If she was anyone else I'd report her immediately. It's just so hard when it's my bestfriend. I actually called animal control today, but for some reason I could hear the woman to answered but she couldn't hear me. I am going to call her and let her know that it is illegal to do what she did and I think I'll try calling Animal Control again to see what the legal ramifications are. She came from a really rough background, even more so than mine, and generally threats from the law have corrected any problems she had in the past. I can't just stop talking to her, her friendship is really valuable to me, but I can keep working on her with regards to her attitude towards animals. I think I can get through to her that she shouldn't adopt another pet and I will report her if she does aquire another pet. Maybe it's just the Quaker in me, or maybe it's just because she's my friend, but I really want to try to find a solution for her that doesn't involve destroying our friendship and landing her in jail.

This situation just sucks.
post #8 of 28
Do it, i turned someone i knew in to RSPCA once because of the terrible way they were treating their dog
I wouldnt care if it was the queen, if someone i kew was mistreating an animal, i would turn 'em in, it's not fair on those poor babies
post #9 of 28
I think of my pets as children, how would you feel about the situation if it were her children that 'ran away' i doubt you would have any hesitation about reporting her then.
To me this is a deal breaker (as Dr Phil would say) i would be willing to risk the friendship in order to save any more animals from this ordeal, wouldn't want to be friends with anyone with this attitiude.
post #10 of 28
I understand where you are coming from. She's your best friend, that's a tough thing to let go of. But why can't you call and not give your name? I know that here they don't even ask for your name. How long ago did her last cat "run away"? Have you tried looking for it? At least you can let a shelter know that this cat is out there. Poor thing
post #11 of 28
I don't understand the "volunteers at a shelter". How can she volunteer at a shelter and be so heartless to cats?

I don't know what good it is to report her now that the cats are gone, but then again, what good will it do to report if she gets a new pet? Until she mistreats that pet, how can they do anything? This is a very hard situation. I am glad you spoke up to her.

If her fear of turning a cat into the shelter is she cannot adopt again, shouldn't they be notified of what she has done? And since she lied to her Mom about disposing of the cat, maybe she will lie to you the next time.
post #12 of 28
Definitely turn her in. You could do it anonymously, I'm sure, and who knows how many future cats (and dogs and ferrets and...) it may save???
post #13 of 28
Thread Starter 
I'm over there a lot though. If an animal shows up and goes missing I would know about it. I am going to tell her mom about what she did with her cat. She was going to give me the pregnant kitten, but my lease stated that I can't have any pregnant cats. I'm going to call animal control tomarrow to talk with them about the situation and I'll probably end up turning her in then. I had them on the phone two hours ago, but the woman couldn't hear me for some reason and hung up.

I just hate this situation. My friend has made a lot of mistakes in her life, but I've never stopped being her friend. She always manages to figure things out for herself normally, and stop anything negative she was doing. This is the first bad thing I've seen her do since we were teenagers.

It's such a catch-22. It's always easy to say you'd turn someone in, but as I've found out it's a lot harder when it's someone you love. Then again if animal control handles this situation the same way they handled the dog situation that I posted about in "Ask Animal Control" I don't know that they'd do anything about this case either, since there are no cats and no records of these cats even exisiting. The kitten was bought as a garage sale and the male cat was a stray.
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by esrgirl
I'm over there a lot though. If an animal shows up and goes missing I would know about it. I am going to tell her mom about what she did with her cat. She was going to give me the pregnant kitten, but my lease stated that I can't have any pregnant cats. I'm going to call animal control tomarrow to talk with them about the situation and I'll probably end up turning her in then. I had them on the phone two hours ago, but the woman couldn't hear me for some reason and hung up.

I just hate this situation. My friend has made a lot of mistakes in her life, but I've never stopped being her friend. She always manages to figure things out for herself normally, and stop anything negative she was doing. This is the first bad thing I've seen her do since we were teenagers.

It's such a catch-22. It's always easy to say you'd turn someone in, but as I've found out it's a lot harder when it's someone you love. Then again if animal control handles this situation the same way they handled the dog situation that I posted about in "Ask Animal Control" I don't know that they'd do anything about this case either, since there are no cats and no records of these cats even exisiting. The kitten was bought as a garage sale and the male cat was a stray.
Just be honest with her as you have in this thread. Let her know that you called animal control because it is abusive to do that to an animal. Tell her you value her friendship, and hope that she learns from her mistakes. At least she will know you are serious!
Hopefully you don't lose a friend over this, but you will lose her anyhow if you do nothing, because the situation will eat at the relationship.
post #15 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
Hopefully you don't lose a friend over this, but you will lose her anyhow if you do nothing, because the situation will eat at the relationship.
Very well said
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
That was very well said, Beckiboo- that really helped put it into perspective for me. As everyone can see, I keep going back and forth on the issue. It's just so much harder when you have to turn in someone you love. Geez, imagine if I were a parent and this were my kid!
post #17 of 28
I suspect that unless she has posession of an animal that is being abused, Animal Control can't do anything with me. Past offenses with no evidence may not be a case.

I lost a 10 year friendship with a couple who I felt neglected their animals. It was so frustrating to see what they did that it was better for me to drop the friendship than to be ignored when I very tactfully tried to offer constructive advice.

You need to try the heart to heart with your friend but would caution about using threats of Animal Control. If they won't do anything about it, the threat is useless and can only damage your friendship.

Call Animal Control for advice to see what they will and will not intervene in and go from there.

*hugs*
post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
Thank you Momofmany! It's so great to hear everyone's support. It just makes me so mad. I'm talking to my brother on instant messenger right now and he's saying to call and turn her in. I don't think they can do much, since there's no proof of these cats ever being born, but I do think they can at least give me advice.

It just feels good to get this off my chest and to know that there are others out there who love animals.
post #19 of 28
Dear esrgirl:

That young lady seems to consider the whole thing a joke (quote "So she told me, as she was laughing, that she lied to her mom and said she took the cat to her husband's family farm- but what she really did was kick the cat out.").
I'd turn her in to animal control and, if possible, even to the police. She seems to think of animals as expendable toys and not of living creatures meaning she's completely immature and shouldn't be permitted to be responsible for any living being at all. She behaves like a spoiled and repulsively selfish kid, once she gets tired of something she gets rid of it without any scruples at all (quote "She did this previously with a pregnant kitten she had, she had gotten pregnant during her first heat because my friend didn't want to pay for her to be spayed. She let the kitten out and hasn't seen her since. To top it all of, she adopted a dog, only to give it away to a friend, thus violating her adoption contract. She's also tired of her ferret, because she says he won't be litter trained"). In a juristical sense you'd call her a repeat offender.
Apparently she never even realized that animals are living creatures for which we take responsibility and, on judgement day, we'll also be judged by how we handled this responsibility.
IMO she's in desperate need of a rude awakening and therefore she should get the whole 9 yards of whatever legal action is possible in this case.

Take care and good luck

Joe
post #20 of 28
This is just MO but I wouldn't report in anonymousely because any friend of mine that did something like that would be no longer my friend.
post #21 of 28
Good Morning! I just read this thread from start to finish. And I know where you are coming from, and I am sure you could turn her in anonomously, but she would probably know it was you, anyways, because you are the only one who knows what she really did. But the thing to think about here, is what if it were her children? Would you turn her in to social services? I bet you would. Those animals cant speak for themselves, and they cant defend themselves either. Out there with no food, and no guarantee that someone would take them..especially nowadays when there are people that intentionally injure and kill cats and even dogs. And for a little cat to be out there with no shelter, and no protection, just makes me sad. I understand shes your friend, but its wrong. Maybe you could tell her that its wrong, and it disturbs you that she is so careless with another's life. It doesnt matter what it is: cat, dog, snake, ferret, her children, they have feelings too. And all a cat wants to do is love you. You know that. And if she ends the friendship over your opinions, then shes really not your friend anyways. And shes a hypocrite if she works at a shelther and then does that mess with just throwing them out.
I know its a hard situation but in the end, you will make the right decision for you, if you havent already. You already called animal control, so I think that you already made your decision. Stick with it, and dont second guess yourself. You're a good person for what you are doing. Not to mention that shes probably teaching her children to be callous and cruel to animals.
Good luck and keep us posted!
post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by diane8704
Good Morning! I just read this thread from start to finish. And I know where you are coming from, and I am sure you could turn her in anonomously, but she would probably know it was you, anyways, because you are the only one who knows what she really did. But the thing to think about here, is what if it were her children? Would you turn her in to social services? I bet you would. Those animals cant speak for themselves, and they cant defend themselves either. Out there with no food, and no guarantee that someone would take them..especially nowadays when there are people that intentionally injure and kill cats and even dogs. And for a little cat to be out there with no shelter, and no protection, just makes me sad. I understand shes your friend, but its wrong. Maybe you could tell her that its wrong, and it disturbs you that she is so careless with another's life. It doesnt matter what it is: cat, dog, snake, ferret, her children, they have feelings too. And all a cat wants to do is love you. You know that. And if she ends the friendship over your opinions, then shes really not your friend anyways. And shes a hypocrite if she works at a shelther and then does that mess with just throwing them out.
I know its a hard situation but in the end, you will make the right decision for you, if you havent already. You already called animal control, so I think that you already made your decision. Stick with it, and dont second guess yourself. You're a good person for what you are doing. Not to mention that shes probably teaching her children to be callous and cruel to animals.
Good luck and keep us posted!
That was so well said. I am in total agreeance with you. I was just wondering though, if turned in to animal control, is there a way that they could ban her from ever adopting from a shelter again? Do they have some sort of system for that? I love the part about how a cat just wants to love you. It's so true! It breaks my heart to think of this poor cat wandering on its own, all alone and hungry.

esrgirl, I think you are doing the right thing by contacting animal control also. Just remember, that poor cat (or any other pet to enter that house) cannot speak up for or help itself. You're doing the right thing and you have a very big heart.
post #23 of 28
And the ACO finally chimes in. Sorry for the delay. Your friend is every ACOs nightmare. Someone who professes to love animals but is actually a "fad" owner. If the animal isn't convenient it, like furniture and slightly outdated household appliances, is kicked to make way for newer, better, bigger and improved. This is not a person that you should waste your valuable time by keeping in your circle of friends. If and when she reaches the end of her days, there will be a small (and maybe even large) number of pets standing in the receiving line outside the gates who will vote thumbs down on access to the rainbow bridge. Tell her, tell the shelter, and report it to the ACOs. Granted they may will not be able to do squat but at least you will have made an honest attempt to do the right thing. She has to live with herself and you have to do the same.
post #24 of 28
Thread Starter 
I called Animal Control and they couldn't do anything. I plan on finding out who she adopted the beagle from (lots of beagles in my posts!) and informing them of her contract break. I honestly hadn't thought of doing that before, but I think it's a great idea. It's amazing to me how I can know someone from the time I was 10 years old and not know just how bad she was with animals. Her family is just like this as well- as evidenced by the fact that the last cat was her mom's throw-away.
post #25 of 28
You know the old saying about judging people or a society by how it treats its most vulnerable creatures. I think that is how you must cope with this. I know it is tough!! I would turn in my mother if she did this - it is heartbreaking to see anyone, esp someone who professes to love animals be so horrible!!

You will sleep better knowing you did the right thing! And future casualties of hers will also be blessed by your action.
post #26 of 28
YES report this. This person does not deserve to have animals. There are many people that would love and care properly for these animals. Your friend does not deserve to adopt any animal.
post #27 of 28
You are being very courageous and I appreciate your dilemma. I hope that you can turn her in anonymously to an ACO that can at least speak to her (although your friend may figure out only you knew the situations about the cats). And if somehow you could teach your friend about having compassion for animals, or at least influence her children, then you will have created a permanent fix and definitely improved the lots of the cats & dogs in their futures! But if you cut out your friend now, she may never change. I pray that you be given wisdom & guidance and that you have a happy outcome. Thank you for speaking up!!
post #28 of 28
Hi I am new to this forum, but please turn her in. I understand she is your friend but it is very clear that you are thinking about the welfare of these animals and that it bothers you. If you do something now you may help to stop your friends cycle.
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