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No respect...

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Hey everyone, sorry but I'm going to have to vent for a second One of Tehya's kittens has a pink eye (not open yet) and I've already posted and asked about it, and everyone thinks the same as I do... take him to the vet. So, as soon as my father gets home from work, I tell him (though I already called him about two hours ago) that we needed to take the kitten to the vet. I know I'm only 14 and everything, but still my dad who apparently posesses infinite wisdom says we can wait until tomorrow, and we'll see if we need to take him to the vet. Ok, I know I am only 14 years old, but I know more about cats then absolutely anyone in my family, and I know that something needs to be done... my knowledge of kittens only goes so far, I need an expert on this. My dad always treats me like I'm just an annoying kid that can't be taken seriously. He knows that I know a lot about cats, but he refuses to listen to me about anything concerning vet care or something that might cost him money. He doesn't understand and doesn't even respect or care about anything I have to say, and never pauses to think that maybe for a second I might be right about something. With all of his knowledge he still cannot see (or doesn't care?) that somthing needs to be done. And even more then just this incident... we have 8 cats now, and I am the sole caretaker of every single one. I change litterboxes, I feed them and give them water every day, I comb and groom and clean and check to make sure that everyhting is okay with them... I sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor in the same room as Tehya and the babies, to make sure they're alright... on top of everything, I am three grades ahead in several of my classes including math which is the hardest subject for me, and I have pages of assignments every night. So on top of homework and trying to maintain a somewhat normal social life, he dumps every responsibilty of pet care on me. He and my sister (my mom doesn't live with us anymore, unfortunately) always yell at me to clean up something the cats did, to fix something they broke, and the blame is always on me since obviously the cats messing up something or tipping something over or any mess related to the cats is my fault. I feel like I'm on my feet from dawn until dusk trying to do everything I need to do, and yet there is still more piling up on me!!! I know I should be able to handle it, I can understand the fact I'm growing up and I need to take on responsibility. But sometimes it just gets to the point where there is far too much to handle. Sorry this is so long, thanks for listening everyone
Laurel
post #2 of 21
Though my mom is fairly understanding when it comes to kittens there are times whre we will have huge fights over things. I know more about cats then her and am more into animal rights and wow do we ever debate and it always ends in screams. We forgive and forget of course but it really irks me when my mom won't listen to my point of veiw though im 16 (17 in August ). Its frustrating i know.
post #3 of 21
Hey Laurel, hang in there. I was 16 once, but it has been a while. My second child is 16 now!

Every kid has to go through a period of butting heads with the parents (or in your case parent). Sounds like that is part of what is going on. It seems like your Dad listens to you some, or you probably wouldn't have eight cats.

There is a range of care for cats, from bare minimum of cheap food and clean water, to expensive condos and top notch vet care with every sneeze. Somewhere in between is concerned, thoughtful care. And unfortunately, it sounds like in your house, you are the expert on cats, and your Dad is the boss in deciding when to go to the vet. Keep talking to him, and try your best to work things out.

Good luck with the kitten's eye, and with growing up with the help of (and in spite of the help of!) your Dad. This is a good place to vent!
post #4 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much everyone I know its just the teenager blues getting me down Reminds me of the soap operas where everyone is always so dramatic *grin* It's good to know that I can vent to you guys when I need to though... I get really really overprotective of my cats, and when something (a something that is usually my father) gets in the way, I tend to not think reasonably... I guess having the cats being in my care for awhile now has made me realize how devastated I would be should something happen to them... the maternal instinct or something along those lines, I suppose.
Laurel
post #5 of 21
Unfortunately it's common for parents to treat their kids that way.
My parents treated me like a little child that needed to be controlled so I wouldn't make their lives too difficult... up until I moved out when I was 22!!
As soon as I moved out suddenly they started treating me as their equal. They were so afraid I would never come to visit that they started treating me like a human being.

Hang in there. You seem like a great person and some day it'll all come back to you.

As far as your cat goes, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully everything will turn out ok. Just keep trying to convince your dad to do what's right and continue to take great care of your kitties.
If you need help or need to vent some more, that's what we're here for.
post #6 of 21
You seem like a very mature and reasonable girl. Have you told your father the same things you have written here?
post #7 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussie Cat Love
You seem like a very mature and reasonable girl. Have you told your father the same things you have written here?
Hmm... that's actually a really good point. I mean, I know that he knows all of what I've said, but maybe hearing it out of my mouth and telling him its really getting to me could help. I'll have to think about it though My dad is very stubborn, and it could easily blow back up in my face. Thanks so much everyone! Amazing how just being on this site and reading the posts can calm me down so quickly
Laurel
post #8 of 21
I'm 14, and I know more about cats then any of my friends or family. You're right to want to take her right away.
post #9 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilovecats
I'm 14, and I know more about cats then any of my friends or family. You're right to want to take her right away.
Woah!!! No way, that's awesome!!! I thought I was the youngest one on the forums Good to have another younger TCS-er... lol not that any of you older ones are bad!!! You are very wise and experienced Nice to meet you!
Laurel
post #10 of 21
well im only turning 19 in a few months, but when i look back at being 14, i notice wow there was alot of differences
My dad never took me seriously, and i dont know whether he does or not now.. but i hope he respects me since i moved out!
he wouldnt even come to visit me the first 2 months, they live 2 hours away and once they were up here at the casino but wouldnt come to my house.
Infact the second time they came here, they asked to meet us at the casino but because we were out and didnt get the fax they ended up coming here but my dad still wouldnt come in
anyway, now he enjoys coming up here because we spend quality time, like talk talk talk talk and go to a restaurant. the only bad thing about it is the 2 hour drive home. (he has even stayed the night now)

The fact is that parents dont like to see their little girls grow up, and youre going to have a harder time when you reach towards the end of puberty.

Can do you small jobs at the vet on the weekends so you can pay them back in a way for helping your kittens eye? (or just take it to the vet anyway wth out your dads concern and have a heart to heart talk with your vet?) im sure they will be soo understanding to a wonderful 14 year old like you
what is wrong with your kitties eye? (i must have missed a post some where)
post #11 of 21
Boy I recall head butting with my dad on animal things many times. Mostly my horses, but of course i worked for my dad at age 14..which is unique. So I did have money to pay for their vet bills..(than again it did come from him lol) hang in their. Tell your dad how you feel, and look at it this way, its good practice I am up to 4 horses (with hopefully two on the way) 6 adult cats, 7 kittens and two dogs
post #12 of 21
Laurel hon , I'm so sorry you're experiencing that with your father. Trust me when I say that most of us have been there, done that!
I seriously hope he comes around and let's you get that kitten to the vet ASAP. Maybe show him the advice that people have given you on this site so that he knows that his "fellow adults" feel the same way as you do on the subject.
Your parents should be so thankful- they've raised a very intelligent and compassionate young woman!
post #13 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan
Can do you small jobs at the vet on the weekends so you can pay them back in a way for helping your kittens eye? (or just take it to the vet anyway wth out your dads concern and have a heart to heart talk with your vet?) im sure they will be soo understanding to a wonderful 14 year old like you
what is wrong with your kitties eye? (i must have missed a post some where)
Thanks for the advice fwan, I should probably go and see if they could help. Unfortunately, the vetrinarians that are in my town are more into money it seems, then helping an animal (or a kid like me) with anything without money But I will try of course if my dad continues to not understand whats going on. His eye, by the way, has had some pinkish-red pus or something around it, and it seems to be closed tighter then his other eye. I'm really worried about it, hopefully my dad will consent to the visit today...
Laurel
post #14 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Laurel hon , I'm so sorry you're experiencing that with your father. Trust me when I say that most of us have been there, done that!
I seriously hope he comes around and let's you get that kitten to the vet ASAP. Maybe show him the advice that people have given you on this site so that he knows that his "fellow adults" feel the same way as you do on the subject.
Your parents should be so thankful- they've raised a very intelligent and compassionate young woman!
I almost forgot, thank you so much for the kind words!!! I really appreciate the amount of repsect I get from everyone on this site, be they 14 like me or an adult who has much more experience then I do!!! I get the respect here that lacks normally. Thanks!!!
Laurel
post #15 of 21
I am almost 50 years old, and I am probably as dramatic as you are. I have a meltdown every time I think something might be wrong with my babies.
I am praying for your lil kitty.
It seems to me as if you are really responsible! I wish more students were like you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurelism
Thanks so much everyone I know its just the teenager blues getting me down Reminds me of the soap operas where everyone is always so dramatic *grin* It's good to know that I can vent to you guys when I need to though... I get really really overprotective of my cats, and when something (a something that is usually my father) gets in the way, I tend to not think reasonably... I guess having the cats being in my care for awhile now has made me realize how devastated I would be should something happen to them... the maternal instinct or something along those lines, I suppose.
Laurel
post #16 of 21
Hey, Laurel, keep us posted. I thought your Dad was going to let you take him to the vet today? Good luck with your baby, I hope his eye heals up soon!
post #17 of 21
If it's any consolation, I LOVE my father dearly, but he is just like that when it comes to the cats health. Actually, he takes very good care of them (feeding, litterbox, etc) but he has a sorta farmer attitude (despite being almost an ex-hippie) about their health.

It's breathing? It's fine! Why do anything different?

You just have to keep working on them. Or eventually move out and give up. My father is slowly getting better, whether he is humoring me or actually changing his mind is up to debate.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
Hey, Laurel, keep us posted. I thought your Dad was going to let you take him to the vet today? Good luck with your baby, I hope his eye heals up soon!
I thought so too Apparently its "not going to hurt him to wait until Thursday" when my parents have time off of work. I seriously don't know whats wrong with Glacier, the pinkess and swelling is down almost comletely, but the eye is still shut tight It almost looks like he doesn't have an eye at all underneath the lid... can this happen. like as a birth defect or something??? I'm really worried, I do a compress like MA told me to once a day... I am so angry that my family doesn't understand this could be very serious!!! I don't know, I'm just very very... disappointed I guess. At this point, can't my parents at least give me the benefit of the doubt???
Laurel
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 
Well, good news everyone. We finally got the kittens to the vet today, all four of them, along with momma. They did have some sort of infection in their eyes, but we got some ointment, and it should clear up by next week. They are otherwise completely happy and seem to be eating and doing all the things lil kittens do. Thank you all very much for the support!!!
Laurel
post #20 of 21
Glad to hear the babies got some meds!
post #21 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
Glad to hear the babies got some meds!
Thanks so much! Everyone seems to be doing fine now; eyes are a little blinky and small still, but we're getting there, and there isn't any more pus or anything. Thank goodnes for vetrinarians!!!
Laurel
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