need answers ASAP - bullying or not?

First of all, surely you are not still using this infamous blog anymore, right? If you still want to have an online journal, then may I suggest moving your old blog to a site with privacy controls?

Such as: www.livejournal.com
I have my own journal there and really love it. I can write whatever I want and can control who sees it so that anyone with an internet connection can't read my private thoughts.

With LiveJournal you can set the each post to be viewed publicly (everyone can see it), viewed by friends only (only people on your friends list can see the entry), or private (only YOU can view the entry).

You obviously do need to use something else than what you have for your journal since the ex-friend co-worker knows your screenname and site location. It would be wise to use a completely different screenname when finding a new journal location.



Now second of all, the annoying co-workers. I think I would have to say something to the ex-friend co-worker who blabbed to the others about your blog. It was def. not cool, and they should know that you are not going to let them manipulate you and cause this drama for you.

As for the other, loud co-workers.... you already spoke to your boss about the problem. (S)he should make some effort to make them quit because you are an employee and you have the right to a sutable work enviroment. If they continue with this childish behavior, then say something to them! You have a right to! You spoke with your boss, and that didn't stop them.... you shouldn't have to put up with it. Just be firm, but not mean.

In my opinion, I think it is harassment.

I started making my posts "protected" so that only people who I allow subscribe to my BLOG are the only one's who can see my entries.

People are retarded. Recently there was a situation where the two people mentioned in this thread were getting on my back regarding notifying them of some changes I made. I told them that I communicated to their manager that these changes would take place, and he said he'd communicate it to them. The manager communicated that the changes would be made, but he never really outlined what would change. So they were a little bent out of shape about that. That's understandable. I told them, that maybe if I didn't feel conflict between us, it'd be easier to talk with them directly regarding the changes instead of having to go through their manager. So guess what happens today? One of them reads the e-mail. A few minutes later... *click click, click click, click click* and it goes on for about two or three minutes. OK, so now this person is mad at me b/c I brought the problem to light? They might as well have replied to the e-mail and said F-U! The second person gets it... is pretty quiet just about all day... then waits until about 20 minutes until I'm about to leave to start going nuts with his pen. He even had someone walking by tag-teaming with him against me. I mean, it sounds funny when I talk about it, but when my blood pressure and stress level is increasing at work, it's not that funny. It's funny b/c I can't believe people will go to this level and go out of their way just to make someone else's life miserable. To make a long story short, I sent a quick e-mail to the leader of HR, and hopefully I will conversate with that person tomorrow.

I don't really have an opinion about your work situation, but since this is a cat site would love to hear about your cats. How many do you have?

Personally, I think its bullying, but its kind of like being back in preschool to keep tattling. I think you should just show that its not getting to you. They are doing it to get to it. Why stoop to their level? Just ignore it. Do you believe everything you wrote and is it true? If it is, then whats the point? You shouldnt be ashamed for what you think and say. And so these people are being jerks and childish. Was posting on a BLOG the best thing to do? No. Should Employee A have shown it to employee B, absolutely not. We call that stirring the pot. Some people live for discord. Don't give them the satisfaction. I wouldnt go as far to bake them a cake or out of my way of politeness, because that just looks like you are sucking up. But I would just say "Good Morning/Good Afternoon, A,B,C and D How are ya'll?" And when they start clicking, cringe inward, and ignore it. Eventually, they should get bored with the brainless torture and move on.
Good Luck.

I agree with Diane....don't be overly polite or nice to them. Don't bring in food. Don't go talk to them. But don't go to HR or management again.

Something similar happened to me a number of years ago. I was teasing a woman I worked with and said no, I don't won't do your work today, cause you're wearing red. Then I took the work from her and we both laughed. Unfortunately, a friend of hers heard this, didn't hear the laughter, and just freaked. She arranged it with the rest of the office to wear red 2 days later. She didn't tell most of them why... just to wear red. When the manager saw everyone wearing red, he did some digging and found out why. When I came in, he called me into his office and blasted me for allowing my personal opinion to tainte the office. I called the woman in, we discussed it, and he understood I was teasing. (The woman understood it from the beginning) He offered to send me home, but I refused. I worked like it didn't bother me. And I had everyone but the b*tch that arranged it, come up to me to apologize. It was forgotten a few days later.

If they can't bother you, they'll eventually grow bored.

You have unfortunately been marked by your coworkers. You clearly don't believe you did anything wrong, and that this supposed friend betrayed you for some reason or the other. But the damage has been done and you need to just put it aside and apologize to the office. Either that or put in for a transfer. If there is something going wrong you should have gone through proper channels to report it not put it out in a blog on the Internet- It sounds to me like the folks you are working with are not going to be very forgiving and will keep up the harassment until you quit.

I should not be the one to quit. I will not apologize or bring in food or etc. I'm not going to kiss butt to people who don't show an ounce of respect towards me. I have a meeting arranged with the HR lead tomorrow. I finally broke down and I figure that hopefully (with an ounce of luck) HR will side with me against this noise pollution matter. Wish me luck! I'll need tons of it!

Thank you to everyone who provided feedback!

I'll try and keep you updated (if you care to know what happens).

I am glad that you've contacted HR - most often they know the personalities involved better than you think they do. And if you think they have a misconception - state that you disagree (calmly of course!) and state why. No emotioanl outburst, if you are prone to that, no flagarant accusations. The facts will speak for themselves.

Whiout know your exact office dynamics, it is hard to offer much advice that may b e productive - becauase in one set of certain people, it would work - the other - it would be terribly wrong.

Keep us updated!

I am so angry that these people have to put you through these childish games day after day, its getting very old. Well I know you probably know how I feel, or maybe u dont. But I hope everything works its self out at work, I thought you graduated highschool 6 yrs ago. Good luck tomorrow and remember I am here for you no matter what happens and I support you in any desicions you make. love ME and the Kitties

I had my talk with HR. I was instructed to have an impromptu meeting with the employee who's practices I had an opinion about on my BLOG and make sure that we can get over this. I was then instructed to ask him if he knew how we could stop the noise, and go from there. HR told me they would speak to my immediate manager and the IT director regarding the noise, b/c they understood that when you're in my profession, quietness is key to concentration (I'm an application developer). I'll post more after I talk to the employee, and if I notice a change in the environment.

Just wondering how this came out. I have to agree with all Hissy said.

I spoke with the guy I had to talk to this morning and all went well. He stated that he wasn't holding a grudge due to the BLOG incident, and that he was wondering what has been up with me. So it was a communication problem and a misunderstanding between the two of us. I explained to him my thought process when I wrote the BLOG, and that lead to other topics; but that cleared some things up. He told me others at work had been informed of the BLOG, and he told them to not get involved and to stay away. He understood that my personal space was being invaded and that was not appropriate. He also told me that others do not have an issue with me. When I questioned the noise issue, he said he didn't know of a noise problem or didn't recognize one, and if there was noise, he didn't think it was directed towards me. However, I tend to disagree with that comment (the fact that there is a noise problem). Even if the noise isn't directed towards me, there's still a problem.

After our conversation, I followed up with HR (via an e-mail as asked). I asked them if they had a chance to talk to the managers regarding the noise issue, as I am not convinced the issue will go away unless that is done. I'll just have to wait and find out on this one. However, I must admit, I feel like I dropped a huge weight off my shoulders, now that I got these feelings off my chest.

Glad you went to the HR - it oftentimes help to get their unbiased opinion - since presumbably they know the parties involved.

Definately developers need to be able to concentrate!

Sounds like it is on its' way to getting better. Hope the peace and quiet come next.

We recently had a similar problem in our office, sparked by a series of promotions and the fact that everybody thinks they know what everyone else is doing... when they really don't.

A girl got promoted that some people didn't like and/or thought deserved the job... and got promoted to be over those very people. They tormented her in quiet ways (verbally bashing her loud enough for her to hear, messing with things in her office, refusing to turn their work in to her)... until she was so stressed she made herself talk to a higher up. It snowballed from there, to pinpoint the person they believed to be the instigator, and after a lengthy investigation including depositions by several workers, they gave him a slap on the wrist.

The point is, it's a hard thing to discipline for because it's not exactly harrassment, they call it "conduct unbecoming..." and HR depts will tend to want one really bad act to discipline than try swatting flies. The best advice is to get management to stop the current behavior and then find a way to ease the social tensions so it doesn't start up again even if it means taking a hit to your pride. But, it's going to be a hard road. I'm not saying you should, but if it were me I'd be tempted to look for another job to start fresh in, or try getting transferred to a different department at the same company. I was in a similar position as slacker-girl at one of my first jobs... only it was a small company and my boss was the one doing it. It got so bad after two years that I lost it, wrote a lengthy letter of resignation and walked.

What's wrong with me? I skipped right over your post about talking to him apparently!

Good job! Finding a way to ease tensions personally instead of trying to involve HR should fix it. Hope things settle down now and you can enjoy your workplace again!!

Are they being nicer to you today? I hope so.

Not any nicer at all. If anything, my assumption or feeling that the guy I talked to about the noise was lying, well, I was right. Friday they just went over the line. First off, I heard him mention to another employee something I said when we had our private discussion. Then, someone came over to his desk and started taking papers and dropping them on his desk and someone was slamming their pen against the metal lining on top of his cubicle and he was slamming his pen against his desk. By the time I got out of there on Friday, I just wanted to die. Seriously. I sent another e-mail to the HR lead I spoke with (she was out of the office) and explained that things were getting even more carried away now.

So according to HR's original statement to me, "if you talk to him, at least you can say that you tried and that you did what you could", I did try, and with no success to report. However, hopefully they'll help me out with this and maybe bring him in and do more than just smack him on his hand. I'd like them to talk to him, our IT director, and his employer. I'd also like HR to talk to the other person behind all of this as well, and state that their job is at risk if this continues. Maybe then these two can relay this information and tell others to stop.

I've been at this place for seven years, almost 8 now, and I shouldn't be the one to have to leave. Then again, wouldn't I have a case against the company b/c I was forced to leave and I didn't leave b/c I wanted to?