I received this e-mail awhile ago from my mom, and I though it was pretty great. Just wanted to give everyone a laugh on a Friday afternoon! everyone have a great weekend!
As seen in a dog's diary:
7am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm-Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm- Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm- Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in people's beds! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction
that I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded-- must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair-- must try this on
their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly,
I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must
learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced that
the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. Due to his placement
in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a
matter of time....
As seen in a dog's diary:
7am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm-Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6pm- Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm- Oh boy! Dad! My favorite!
8pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
11pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in people's beds! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction
that I get from clawing the furniture.
houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded-- must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair-- must try this on
their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly,
I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must
learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. Due to his placement
in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a
matter of time....
