Changes

Well, I am up for some major changes in my life. As some of you know, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve had a long struggle to hold onto my house, and Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve finally admitted that I have lost that struggle. I am not going to fight it anymore and will either let the bank take the house or find someone willing to pay me for it, and move on. If the bank takes the house, I will have until the end of this year/the beginning of next year before I actually have to move out.

Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve also finally decided that the relationship Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve been in for the past five years is never going to get any better, and that we both would be better off emotionally going our separate ways. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m sure we will always be friends, but we havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t been romantic partners for a very long time now, and neither of us has any desire to try to rekindle a spark that died years ago. (I have not discussed my plans with him yet. He is going camping in 3 weeks and I don't want to ruin that for him, I plan on telling him perhaps a week or so after he comes back.)

So…I am looking at some major life changes. I know I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t remain in this area; it will hurt me to be near the home that I had and lost. I want to move out of the area, out of the state, and start anew. I will be renting, either an apartment or a small house, and that leads me to the most horrible, painful decision I have ever made in my life.

I obviously cannot take all or even most of the cats with me when I move. I know Tybalt will take some of them, wherever he ends up going (probably back to his mom, who already has 9 cats of her own). I figure I can probably get away with up to 6 cats in a 2 bedroom apartment. So I am going to have to rehome some of the cats before the year is out. Some of them are rescues, ones we took in with full intention of rehoming, but there are 18 of them that were “our†cats before we started rescuing.

How do I choose who comes with me and who doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t? They are all my kids, and I love each and every one of them. I am agonizing over the decision long before it will need to be made.

The other big decision, far less painful, is where do I want to go? My main priority is climate; I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t mind a little snow or rain, but I want someplace where it is sunny and warm most of the year. I know I can get a job near any major city, so I am not worried about that. (Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m an RN, specifically a case manager for workerâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s comp and auto insurance. There are insurance companies in just about every major city, and every city and state also has their own department of workers comp as well. Worst case scenario, I will take a hands-on nursing job for a few weeks/months until something I like comes along.) So far, cities I have been considering are: Denver, CO; Albuquerque, Santa Fe and Las Cruces, NM; Eugene, Salem and Portland, OR; Tucson, AZ and the San Francisco Bay area. If anyone wants to tell me reasons pro and co for moving to any of these areas, I would love to hear them.

One thing that helps is knowing that my online friends, especially you guys here at TCS, will be with me wherever I go! I am actually looking forward to all the changes (except the cat decision part) and have hope for the future, for the first time in several years. I am expecting good things from the future, and see this as an opportunity to remake my life into something that I really want and love.

Oh Sue! First of all your house. If you have until the end of the year before the bank takes it, then i would rather sell it and try and get some profit back for yourself?!.

I've been there as well on the relationship front where the spark went, and although it really upset both of us, more so my husband!, i had to think of myself and my future happiness.

I just can't imagine what you must be going through with regards to what kitts to take, that must be so hard for you

Whatever happens, like you say you know were all here for you

Oh Sue.......you are definitely making some life changing decisions here. I give you all the credit in the world. Lots of us don't do that because the fear of the unknown.....

I wish I has the answer for your kits ........ I just can't see any circumstance that would ever make me give my my kits, but then again, I only have 3. If I had 18, I'd have to be practical, just like your doing. I'm hoping with in the next 6 months, you have much luck finding them homes where they're be just as loved as I'm sure as they are with you.

Keep us updated!!

Hi

I don't know you very well but I just read your post, I do feel for you. I am really sorry to hear about the house and the relationship But, you could think of it all as a fresh start as well - for you and the kits that you will keep and the ones who will need new homes.

Take care and good luck

Oh my gosh Sue! That is major life stuff if I've ever heard it!! We're here to support you . I wish I could tell you a magic formula to help you decide which of your kids should be adopted, but there isn't one. Logically, I can say to think about which ones would be the best candidates for adoption, but that doesn't always work emotionally.

If you're thinking about Denver, I can tell you that the climate here is wonderful overall. We have something ungodly like 350 days of sunshine a year. It is dry, but a very moderate and temperate climate. We do occassionally get the extremes of a big snow or cold snap, or a heat wave, but those don't last very long (usually a week at most).

There are about a million and one health care places here too. One of our primary specialties in my engineering firm is medical facilities, and we've always got a new Medical Office Building going on. I don't think you can live anywhere in the Denver Metro area and be further than 10 miles from a hospital.

Colorado also has a booming housing market, still very much in the favor of the renter/buyer. There are places that are expensive (as there are anywhere!) but particularly out in Aurora (east side of the Metro area where there is unlimited expansion, as opposed to the west side where I live where the mountains make expasion limited), housing is relatively cheap. Cost of living isn't bad here, I'd say we're probably around the median for the country.

Sue, if you want to talk or if you have any questions about the Denver area, just shoot me a PM.

Thanks for the hugs and words of encouragement. They really do help. TCS people are the bestest.

Oh I feel for you. It is a huge metamophorsis you are going through. i am so sorry you will have to lose some of the kits, that is the worst emotionally since mentally you have already accepted the loss of the house and hte relationship. As said above, if you can be objective, then think about the ones who are most easily rehomed, and then if that really doesn't work for one or two you know where you are. Good luck with it all.

I am so sorry to hear about the things you are going through. Life is just one long and winding road, isn't it? I admire you for your strength and determination and knowing when your life needs to change. Lots of people stay in relationships for years because they are afraid of change and being on their own. It's scary but will be worth it in the end.

One thing, do you think you could possibly sell your house instead of letting them close on you? That will keep your credit okay and make it easier down the line for you to buy again in the future.

I think I'm about an hour away from you in NJ so if you are in need some fostering or finding someone a new good home, let me know.

Please know we're all here for you to listen and to support and encourage you!

Oh Sue.

I'm sorry to hear about you and Tybalt, but of course you have to do what is best for the both of you.

I'm also really sorry to hear about your house, and your kitties. I know how attached you are to all of your babies.

I love ya Sue, and will always be here for you. Wish you were closer so I could take a few of your kitties.

I'm am sorry you are having to make all of these tough decisions at once! I know it's not easy giving up your kitties, it was one of the toughest decisions I made last week with Milo. I think you should judge it by their personalities...who is the more independant kitties (for new homes) and who are the most needy to you (to stay with you).

Sending mega vibes that all works out as good as it can.

Boy, sometimes when it rains it pours, but you can do it and I wish you all the best for future happiness. I admire you for having the courage to take a realistic look at your life and change it for the better. I have no advice about which cats to keep except maybe what stormy said about the ones that are most attached to you......hard hard hard. Also I would advise AGAINST the San Francisco choice. I lived in the Bay area while I grew up and it is horribly expensive, as well as packed wall to wall with people, traffic, and pollution. Nice place to visit but would STINK to live there IMO unless you area looking for major "life in the fast lane", I don't even like to VISIT there anymore! Oregon is beautiful if you don't mind some snow and rain. Good luck and best wishes, and hugs of course, lots of those!

Awwww you are in my thoughts my dear friend. I have thought about you the whole time you haven't been posting and hoped everything was okay.

Thanks again, guys. I started a list yesterday of which cats I thought would adjust best to a new home, and which are either too bonded to one or both of us, or are just too "needy" to be adoptable. It's going to need work, because there ended up being 10 cats on the "coming with Sue" list and 3 I know Tybalt couldn't part with, and another 8 on the "coming with either one of us" list. I can't see anyplace letting me rent an apartment or home with 10 cats (unless it was another die-hard cat lover and I paid a huge security deposit), and I can't see him descending on his poor mom with 11 cats. She already has 9!
Carolcat, I had suspected the Bay area would be way too expensive. It was a daydream LOL. Right now, it looks like Denver or New Mexico are the top choices. The company I work for has offices in Denver and in Phoenix, so if I could swing a transfer to one of those offices, that would be ideal, no break in health insurance and a guaranteed job. I don't know when to talk to my boss about my pending move, but I do want to have a better idea of where I'm going before I bring it up to her.
Lovemycodygirl, I may take you up on your offer! It would be awesome if I could adopt some of my cats to TCS members, this way I'd be able to get updates and it wouldn't be quite as wrenching to give them away.

How much are the adoption fees? I love Sasha on your website. I have one that short hair that looks somewhat like him. All your kitties are so cute! I am so sorry to hear what is going on with you. I will pray for you. I like living in Va, maybe you can check us out. Beautiful moutains . Please keep all of updated. Again you will be in my thoughts. If I had extra home I would rent it out to you but I don't.

Oh Sue! Keep us posted.