Hey all, I notice there are a lot of funny cat sayings in some of your signatures, can everyone share their favorite cat quote, joke, or email? I'm looking for some new "material" lol
This one cracks me up:
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their
bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event; however, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured, but I can
wait, it's only a matter of time...
This one cracks me up:
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their
bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event; however, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.
The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured, but I can
wait, it's only a matter of time...