First of all, thanks to those who commented and gave support last week for Heeby and me.
I had to have Heeby put to sleep Friday. I had tests run and found out she did have kidney failure. She stayed in the clinic four days to be hydrated (as a last chance effort) but by Wednesday the vet urged me to do what was best for Heebs.
I opted to bring Heeby home for as long as she seemed to have more good moments than bad. All day Wednesday she was so happy to be home with me. I knew she was in serious pain but she continued to seek me out for affection. I spent all my time comforting her and letting her know how much she was loved. By Thursday evening she was getting weaker and would desperately search for water and food even though she had access to it in every room. It was as if she was looking for something to ease her pain. Thursday night I knew the time was coming and watching her suffer so much ripped my heart out (my vet does not offer any type of in-home euthanasia and she made it clear when I decided to bring Heeby home that I was choosing to hold off any medical help until official office hours).
Friday morning I put aside my intense need to keep Heeby in my life and I did what I knew was best for her. I went with my family to the clinic but none of us could stay with Heeby when she was put to sleep. I wanted to be able to hold her as she passed but I love her so much that I wasn't strong enough to carry out this for her.
Heeby was 11 years old. A beautiful soul who was so forgiving and so loving. She lived her life with one main need every single day. To feel affection from me. Attention from everyone else was acceptable but she always tended to seek me out..almost obsessively. It's very painful trying to find my way through each day without her but I try telling myself that she knew how immensely I love her. She no longer feels the pain that took so much out of her last few weeks of life.
Sorry for rambling. I just miss her so much..
I had to have Heeby put to sleep Friday. I had tests run and found out she did have kidney failure. She stayed in the clinic four days to be hydrated (as a last chance effort) but by Wednesday the vet urged me to do what was best for Heebs.
I opted to bring Heeby home for as long as she seemed to have more good moments than bad. All day Wednesday she was so happy to be home with me. I knew she was in serious pain but she continued to seek me out for affection. I spent all my time comforting her and letting her know how much she was loved. By Thursday evening she was getting weaker and would desperately search for water and food even though she had access to it in every room. It was as if she was looking for something to ease her pain. Thursday night I knew the time was coming and watching her suffer so much ripped my heart out (my vet does not offer any type of in-home euthanasia and she made it clear when I decided to bring Heeby home that I was choosing to hold off any medical help until official office hours).
Friday morning I put aside my intense need to keep Heeby in my life and I did what I knew was best for her. I went with my family to the clinic but none of us could stay with Heeby when she was put to sleep. I wanted to be able to hold her as she passed but I love her so much that I wasn't strong enough to carry out this for her.
Heeby was 11 years old. A beautiful soul who was so forgiving and so loving. She lived her life with one main need every single day. To feel affection from me. Attention from everyone else was acceptable but she always tended to seek me out..almost obsessively. It's very painful trying to find my way through each day without her but I try telling myself that she knew how immensely I love her. She no longer feels the pain that took so much out of her last few weeks of life.
Sorry for rambling. I just miss her so much..
