Pardon me while I bather a bit...could be long

Fran, I know how it's like. My dad took good care of my grandpa for over a year before he died and it was really frustrating, he lived with us, so I was dealing with him too.

Now, Jake's grandma (on his dad's side), has the same problem, and she only have two months to live cause she has not been eating well. She thinks she already ate, but she didn't.

Jake's grandpa (mom's side) has a few months to live cause he really abused himself when he was young. The other night, I went over to visit, I stayed awake all night cause he was getting up from bed all the time, for some reason and he had a diarhea.

It's really frustrating like what I said, but you are doing all the best you can to make him happy like nobody else could do to their parents. It just need a lot of patience, it's stressful sometimes.

Fran, I have never been in your place and I hope not to for a long time, but hearing your pain makes me want to drive straight over for a big :hug: What's 17 hours?
I sincerely hope that your Dad improves and you have much more time with him.
You and your Dad are in my thoughts and prayers as long as you need them!

And thank you for reminding me (and I hope others here) how special our parents are. I am going to call my Mom right now to tell her that. She is the best Mom in the world. I can share her with you if you like

Ashley

Originally Posted by ash_bct

Fran, I have never been in your place and I hope not to for a long time, but hearing your pain makes me want to drive straight over for a big :hug: What's 17 hours?

I sincerely hope that your Dad improves and you have much more time with him.
You and your Dad are in my thoughts and prayers as long as you need them!

And thank you for reminding me (and I hope others here) how special our parents are. I am going to call my Mom right now to tell her that. She is the best Mom in the world. I can share her with you if you like

Ashley

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That's a very generous offer, Ash! Thank you for your good thoughts.

Thank you, too, Karen.

Fran, Sorry your Dad is doing poorly. I'm sure this has been mentioned to you but the diarrhea may be adding to his confussion, due to the loss of electrolytes. Someone might have mentioned this already--I scanned the replies quickly. Your Dad sounds like a heck of a guy, but I know it's a real weight on you now. Good luck.

God bless you, Fran, for caring.

I never had a father, he was killed in a train wreck 5 months before I was born, and I have always looked at families with a father in it and wondered . . .

Betty and I watched both her parents just "run down" and die of old age, and it isn't a pretty thing, for because by the time they are gone, (don't take this wrong) it is almost a relief.

Smacking a rock cliff at 90 in the bloom of health and a loving family is one thing, but going through the slow process of dementia and being "hooked up" is quite another.

Selfish as it may sound, I have always hoped I would go first, because Betty is much stronger than I and could handle the loss of me much easier than I would fare should I lose her.

Leonard.

does your dad have alzheimers if you dont mind me asking? My great grandmother has that. Im the only one in the family she remembers, because from like age 8 I was taller than her, so every time I went to go visit her with my mom i would get on my knees so she always got to look down on me.. so whenever I go into the nursing home to see her I get down on my knees and she knows who I am right away I was the first grandchild too so taht sticks in her memory a bit better. The rest of the faimly is all mad because she doesnt even remember the names of her own children alot but she remembers me Some of my family is really mean so that just makes me laugh. When they put her in the hoem they all just divided up and sold her stuff fromthe group home w/o honoring her will. They were looking through her penny jars finding old coins any anything really they could get their hands on to sell.. so you see why she maybe likes me and remembers me better I have my great grandfather's binoculars,my great grandma's gold watch, some of the older coins I knew were her favorites ( i snitched them when they werent looking because they would ahve just sold them, besides I collect coins) O_O They were like vultures!!! From my grandpa I have this older looking framed picture on felt of a bullfighter and a bull.. its all on felt and it looks so cool. I found a picture three times as big of the San Francisco bridge for a quarter at a garage sale that was painted on felt. I love thos epictures because ... well they just look so cool

I dont know who m y father is either O_O I know his name is Donny Ostreich or someting liek that and that he lives in florida and he owes us $2,700 on back child support XD I really could care less about him because I feel taht if he didnt want to stay then I dont want to know him. Im sorry your father died! I think it would be better to never have known a father then to have known one who died when you were so young!

Once again, thanks, everyone, for your good thoughts. I saw Dad this evening, and on my way out had a good long chat with Cory. I never did connect with the doctor, who apparently tried to call the number I left (my office number) in the two minutes I had to leave the office to answer the call of nature. I even call forwarded to my cell and took it with me, but must have been in a dead spot, because the call didn't connect [sigh].

So, the long and short of the story at the moment is that they did a bunch of blood work at the hospital, which should have indicated dehydration if that were the case, and they would have hydrated him then and there. [Aside:Cory mentioned that the diarrhea had stopped and wasn't really an issue just now -- I hadn't realized that. Obviously I made a wrong connection somewhere.] So, now they're thinking maybe urinary tract infection, and will be testing for that. One thing that they did turn up in the blood work is that his hemoglobin is low. So, we'll see what we see.

Anyway, Dad was awake and lucid tonight -- still some confusion, but he was sufficiently "with it" to be trying to understand what's going on. His angst over the whole situation is exacerbated by not being able to go to ArtWorks, and work on his project -- he's into needlework -- long stitch, to be precise. And, even more than his true enjoyment of this craft, there's the fact that he has a massive -- and I mean MASSIVE -- crush on his instructor. She's a lovely woman in all ways, but of course, half his age...etc. But he's spending a lot of energy fretting about not seeing Carol. I'm hoping he'll be Ok to get up tomorrow, so that he'll be able to calm down on that front.

Alzheimers? No. No indication that that's an issue. The confusion is not a usual thing for him. He's still pretty sharp. The odd time when we get some confusion, it's always attributable to something else of a transitory nature. This time it has been more marked, and thus more upsetting for the kid here. But I don't think, and nobody is suggesting, that we're looking at Alzheimers.

Originally Posted by winwin

Betty and I watched both her parents just "run down" and die of old age, and it isn't a pretty thing, for because by the time they are gone, (don't take this wrong) it is almost a relief.

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No Leonard -- I definitely don't take that wrong. I've been there. I remember my grandmother's last years -- they weren't pretty, either, and she was not very nice to my parents, who bent over backwards to be there for her. That departure definitely was a relief, though none of us felt good about feeling that, of course.

Anyway. That's where we are just now. I'm feeling pretty knackered, but less anxious, having been able to see him and talk to him, and check in again with Cory. She and I did have some conversation about "end of life" decisions. It was good to do that reality checking too.

Thank you for being here, all you wonderful people.

Oh it's good to hear a bit better news this morning Fran! And thats great to hear that they've ruled out Alzheimers

Got to laugh though at the crush he has on his instructor God love him!. but hey if it keeps his spirits lifted then so be it!

You take care as well Fran because you'll be no good to him being tired!

Thanks, Susan. Yes, the crush is quite amusing. He's convinced she returns his "feelings". To be sure, she's very fond of him, but... However, as you say, if it keeps his spirits lifted... I try not to rain on his parade.

Thursday is a pretty crazy day around the time I normally see him, so I don't normally go in, but I'm going to try to carve out a few minutes.

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

Thanks, Susan. Yes, the crush is quite amusing. He's convinced she returns his "feelings". To be sure, she's very fond of him, but... However, as you say, if it keeps his spirits lifted...

I try not to rain on his parade.

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Oh i love it!!!!

Thanks, Katherine. I've no doubt that all the positive thoughts from this board have had their effect, too, and continue to do so.

I have been your position, and there are few things more difficult. He is lucky that you love him so, and are keeping up with his care. Too many elderly people are put into homes and forgotten. That says a great deal about the kind of person you are. You are in my prayers.

Fran, I have had to be there with my parents with the downhill slope of my grandfather back in '03... and and please just have a hug. Lots of them in fact. Just be there for him.

Well I don't know what to say except that you are doing a good job about caring for your dad and visiting him when you can.

I popped in for a few minutes around supper time. The ol' boy is much more himself. He didn't get to ArtWorks today, but had been given to believe that it might be a go for tomorrow. He's still pining for "his girl", but not anxious and fretting the way he was. No new news about tests and whatnot, and in the absence of an emergency I didn't go looking for information this time. I think things are returning to something near normal.

Thanks for all the good thoughts.

Excellent news Fran! Awwwwwww and he's missing her!

Thinking of you and your Dad Fran!

Thanks Sam.

Susan, he got to see "his girl " on Friday. And now is pining for Tuesday as tomorrow is a holiday. He's pretty much back to normal, I think, but still a little freaked out by it all, as he is aware he was kinda out to lunch.