What's up with the co worker?!

pamela · May 17, 2005

I'm sorry but I need to vent and laugh at this stupid co worker -I'll call him Bush since I don't Like President Bush and this co worker..

Not trying to start a political war here okay!

From the beginning, I disliked Bush for various reasons- he is a CONTROL FREAK, an ambitious ladder climber and tend to blame others for HIS mistakes, etc.. I have always tried to remain on a PROFESSIONAL basis with him but sometimes he makes it HARD for me!

The whole office tried to get him fired within his probation period last year cuz he overstepped his boundaries, told other people what to do, changed systems/procedures without checking with us, etc. Unfortunately, we didn't have a director (boss) at that time and had to answer to a DEAN who plays favoritism. Bush is one of her favorites and EVEN With the whole office signing a petition asking for Bush to be fired, she didn't do it! That shows you how bad it is.. Anyway..

Last week, my new boss (started about 6 months ago-let's call him Clinton) emailed him and asked him to pass some info on to me and Mary, my other co worker since we were responsible for setting up appts for vendors to come show us their databases...

Here are the emails in order with names changed and some info edited for privacy protection..

All of these emails were sent to myself, Bush (JERK), Clinton (boss), and Mary (co-worker).

Bush,
If you have any information on the FileMaker Pro system that you and Monica researched last year, please share it with Mary and Pamela as soon as possible.

Would like to include that option in all of the various systems we examine this summer.
Thanks.
-Clinton

Here's Bush's reply..

Hi Clinton,
Like I mentioned in the meeting Monica and I started to work on File Maker Pro and we stopped because Monica had to move to her EEO position. We only got as far as opening the program and trying to make changes in terms of
inserting our University into the already set up "template". We didn't get any training from anyone so we had to spend some time surfing around the program to get as far as we got and then you came on board and it was put a halt.
My suggestion in the meeting was to get some sort of company representative to come in and teach us how to get it to work because we already have it.
Since Pamela and Mary are working on this, are you asking me to be a part of this initiative or should they be the ones to contact someone?
Please advice. Thanks
Bush

Clinton, my boss, was out that day so I took the liberty of replying to save time..

Bush-
Clinton's out today so I'll respond to part of this email. Mary and I will be doing all the contacting, setting up of vendor appointments, etc. We thought you had already corresponded with someone from this program and would like
the contact info if you have that.
If not, we will go into their webpage and get it there.
Pamela

You wouldn't believe Bush's reply to my email!

Good morning Pamela,
Thanks for taking the initiative to reply and answer however I addressed the question Bush (Our Director) in my attempt to follow office protocol. I don't recall Bush mentioning to me prior to that email that in his absence, you are the one I should look to for answers to projects that he assigns me. In the future if that is the case then I am positive Bush will make that clear to me.
For clarification, in the staff meeting I made it clear and I quote: "Monica had made contact through her attendance to a conference from some other University". I never said I had a contact or corresponded with someone.
In our attempt to work together on project. And to ensure effective communication, we should make every effort to follow office protocols.
Thanks for your understanding.
BUSH

Now, I checked with Clinton (boss) the next day when he came in and asked if I had replied inappropriately or overstepped my boundaries. I was told repeatedly by Clinton that I did EVERYTHING RIGHT and that he would take care of Bush since he has noticed a certain pattern developing where Bush would tend to misunderstand what I say (IMO- more of TWISTING what I say to make me look BAD!) and he is going to try to address that.

Today, another co worker came and asked me if her email which was sent out to all staff sounded appropriate. I told her yes and asked why. She said that one staff member emailed her objecting to her email! She was NOT AWARE of the recent situation with the email I got from Bush! This shows that I am NOT ALONE in this.. I'm encouraging her to forward that email from BUSH to Clinton (boss) so he will see that this is definitely getting worse. I want Bush to get in TROUBLE!!

Interested in hearing ur opinions/input on this!

fwan · May 17, 2005

all i can say is haha, i hope he gets fired soon

sammie5 · May 17, 2005

You handled that perfectly. Asking the boss if you were correct, and making sure he knew what a jerk Bush was being. And I would say, everyone else should do the same thing. Just forward the email, and ask, did I handle this correctly. What a jerk. He sounds like a pompous ass.

katspixiedust · May 17, 2005

He sounds like a real pain in the behind. I'd say that you're absolutely on the right track! Hopefully you'll see some results from Clinton's talk with Bush!

By the way, your aliases for those two were great!

catsknowme · May 17, 2005

Yup, your co-worker fits the bill for Narcissistic Personality Disorder alright. A classic narcissist, he is able to charm "Monica"; his biggest fear is most likely exposure of his inadequacies, and since you not only see through him, but also have the courage to "call him on it"

, you are his biggest threat and he will need to undermine you in every way possible. Don't be surprised if after attempts at bullying you fail, he then attempts to woo you.

I've read that one of the best indicators of NPD is excessive rage or other emotion when mildly criticized or challenged (fear of being found to be inadequate). I've had these same situations before, and they can be frustrating, but they can be entertaining, too - kinda like having a cantankerous cat & two young ones who delight in "setting her off". I once had a boss who wasn't all that qualified, and she TORMENTED me & her other underlings. Fortunately, since that job was my part-time one, and therefore, dispensable (my real job was waiting tables at night), I could afford the luxury of "stirring the pot", which I did - the surprising result was that she complained to the business owner and he offered me a management position

; when I declined, he created a new division of customer service & assigned me to run it!

As a side note, some of my hens are White Leghorns, & are notorious for picking on the other hens, in addition to eating each other's eggs, attacking the turkeys, chasing cats, etc. and I refer to them by that NPD boss's first name - my co-workers instantly get the connection!

It's kinda mean, but, hey, it's an inside joke

.....Please let us hear about the next chapter soon!! I was feeling under the weather, but your post sure took my mind off my discomfort - thanks for sharing! Susan

Originally Posted by Pamela

I'm sorry but I need to vent and laugh at this stupid co worker -I'll call him Bush since I don't Like President Bush and this co worker..

Not trying to start a political war here okay!

From the beginning, I disliked Bush for various reasons- he is a CONTROL FREAK, an ambitious ladder climber and tend to blame others for HIS mistakes, etc.. I have always tried to remain on a PROFESSIONAL basis with him but sometimes he makes it HARD for me!

The whole office tried to get him fired within his probation period last year cuz he overstepped his boundaries, told other people what to do, changed systems/procedures without checking with us, etc. Unfortunately, we didn't have a director (boss) at that time and had to answer to a DEAN who plays favoritism. Bush is one of her favorites and EVEN With the whole office signing a petition asking for Bush to be fired, she didn't do it! That shows you how bad it is.. Anyway..

Last week, my new boss (started about 6 months ago-let's call him Clinton) emailed him and asked him to pass some info on to me and Mary, my other co worker since we were responsible for setting up appts for vendors to come show us their databases...

Here are the emails in order with names changed and some info edited for privacy protection..

All of these emails were sent to myself, Bush (JERK), Clinton (boss), and Mary (co-worker).

Bush,
If you have any information on the FileMaker Pro system that you and Monica researched last year, please share it with Mary and Pamela as soon as possible.

Would like to include that option in all of the various systems we examine this summer.
Thanks.
-Clinton

Here's Bush's reply..

Hi Clinton,
Like I mentioned in the meeting Monica and I started to work on File Maker Pro and we stopped because Monica had to move to her EEO position. We only got as far as opening the program and trying to make changes in terms of
inserting our University into the already set up "template". We didn't get any training from anyone so we had to spend some time surfing around the program to get as far as we got and then you came on board and it was put a halt.
My suggestion in the meeting was to get some sort of company representative to come in and teach us how to get it to work because we already have it.
Since Pamela and Mary are working on this, are you asking me to be a part of this initiative or should they be the ones to contact someone?
Please advice. Thanks
Bush

Clinton, my boss, was out that day so I took the liberty of replying to save time..

Bush-
Clinton's out today so I'll respond to part of this email. Mary and I will be doing all the contacting, setting up of vendor appointments, etc. We thought you had already corresponded with someone from this program and would like
the contact info if you have that.
If not, we will go into their webpage and get it there.
Pamela

You wouldn't believe Bush's reply to my email!

Good morning Pamela,
Thanks for taking the initiative to reply and answer however I addressed the question Bush (Our Director) in my attempt to follow office protocol. I don't recall Bush mentioning to me prior to that email that in his absence, you are the one I should look to for answers to projects that he assigns me. In the future if that is the case then I am positive Bush will make that clear to me.
For clarification, in the staff meeting I made it clear and I quote: "Monica had made contact through her attendance to a conference from some other University". I never said I had a contact or corresponded with someone.
In our attempt to work together on project. And to ensure effective communication, we should make every effort to follow office protocols.
Thanks for your understanding.
BUSH

Now, I checked with Clinton (boss) the next day when he came in and asked if I had replied inappropriately or overstepped my boundaries. I was told repeatedly by Clinton that I did EVERYTHING RIGHT and that he would take care of Bush since he has noticed a certain pattern developing where Bush would tend to misunderstand what I say (IMO- more of TWISTING what I say to make me look BAD!) and he is going to try to address that.

Today, another co worker came and asked me if her email which was sent out to all staff sounded appropriate. I told her yes and asked why. She said that one staff member emailed her objecting to her email! She was NOT AWARE of the recent situation with the email I got from Bush! This shows that I am NOT ALONE in this.. I'm encouraging her to forward that email from BUSH to Clinton (boss) so he will see that this is definitely getting worse. I want Bush to get in TROUBLE!!

Interested in hearing ur opinions/input on this!

winwin · May 17, 2005

Sounds like you are in a University Purchasing Department, right ?

I spent a career in that environment, and the pressures, strictures, and protocols are enough to tempt a saint, and you will invariably attract some odd wads.

"Bush" won't last long -- his kind rarely do.

A tip: He may have an ally who is ostensibly against him but who passes "classified" information.

In other words, a snitch.

If you suspect such to be the case, give each of the "suspects" different critical data as part of the same general information, and see what comes back to you, enabling you to identify (and then use to YOUR advantage) the spy.

Another tip: Network outside your department, and if you are already doing it, expand your efforts.

Good words about you coming in to your Dean or Director from others is good currency.

Respect confidences: One of the quickest paths out is to gain a reputation of not being trustworthy.

Good Luck --- Leonard

loveysmummy · May 17, 2005

He simply sounds like a controlling, snivelling, tightass sychophant to me.
I hate that type and Leonard is probably correct.
He won't last long.

I find that the best way to deal with these types is to shine in your own right and don't let that person rent space in your head.

But back up everything you do on paper or with a witness or he might use your own words against you someday.

I have somewhat of the same situation with one of my bosses (who is the owner's wife really and has less problem-solving, multitasking, general competence than anyone I have met...I have had to teach her the same thing on the same computer program each week for 2 years...she hates change when she didn't implement it and blames others for her mistakes)...

The good/bad thing is her own husband calls her a moron and recognizes that the business would sink to the ground if it wasn't for me..However, I haven't railed against her or chastised her and I don't run to him for every incompetence. I simply allow her to fall over herself and exude the patience of Buddha..
People recognize this.

Good lucK!!

hannahj · May 17, 2005

I think you did absolutely right. It always surprises me that some bosses, even with overwhelming evidence, will not fire horrible employees. But now that you have your new boss, hopefully Clinton will see it is necessary to fire Bush. I also work in a university setting. It can be exciting, but it is definitely the kind of setting that rewards nit-picking jerks. I set up TONS of Filemaker databases for our faculty searches--he shouldnt act like it is such a difficult thing to do--there is plenty of information out there that he and Monica could have utilized before now. Sounds like he just likes to have control over projects so that no one can call him on his bull.

pamela · May 17, 2005

Originally Posted by katspixiedust

He sounds like a real pain in the behind. I'd say that you're absolutely on the right track! Hopefully you'll see some results from Clinton's talk with Bush!
By the way, your aliases for those two were great!

Glad to hear that u think I'm on the right track. Glad to hear u like the aliases I chose! Did u see that I also threw Monica as an alias in?

I'm already seeing results from Clinton's talk with Bush.. Today I brought an intern over to Bush's office and as I introduced her to him, he gave me this COLD look!

Yup, your co-worker fits the bill for Narcissistic Personality Disorder alright. A classic narcissist, he is able to charm "Monica"; his biggest fear is most likely exposure of his inadequacies, and since you not only see through him, but also have the courage to "call him on it" , you are his biggest threat and he will need to undermine you in every way possible. Don't be surprised if after attempts at bullying you fail, he then attempts to woo you. I've read that one of the best indicators of NPD is excessive rage or other emotion when mildly criticized or challenged (fear of being found to be inadequate). ..Please let us hear about the next chapter soon!! I was feeling under the weather, but your post sure took my mind off my discomfort - thanks for sharing! Susan

Wow- I like ur label of him being "NPD"!

Actually he TRIED to woo me within the first 2-3 months of working and I was fooled at first but then learned and made it clear that wouldn't work with me again.

Glad to hear that this hmmm "adventure" took ur mind off ur discomfort! Hope u feel better soon..

Sounds like you are in a University Purchasing Department, right ?
"Bush" won't last long -- his kind rarely do.
A tip: He may have an ally who is ostensibly against him but who passes "classified" information.
In other words, a snitch.
If you suspect such to be the case, give each of the "suspects" different critical data as part of the same general information, and see what comes back to you, enabling you to identify (and then use to YOUR advantage) the spy.
Another tip: Network outside your department, and if you are already doing it, expand your efforts.
Good words about you coming in to your Dean or Director from others is good currency.
Respect confidences: One of the quickest paths out is to gain a reputation of not being trustworthy.
Good Luck --- Leonard

Leonard- ur insights are very ASTUTE!! I really HOPE "Bush" doesn't last long. He has been with us for a year so far. ARGGG.. Yup, I figured it out about having a "snitch" in my dept and have warned Mary, my best friend & co worker to be VERY CAREFUL of what she says around this snitch. I found out from another co worker that she knew some stuff about me that she shouldn't have known and I knew it was from this snitch. Yup, it's vital to respect confidences and I know some of my co workers & boss knows I keep confidential info-have heard some interesting stuff that way!

If I hear something that I JUST HAVE to TELL.. I hurry home and tell my cats! I know they will NEVER tell another HUMAN soul!

He simply sounds like a controlling, snivelling, tightass sychophant to me.

I WISH I could print that phrase and paste it to his door!!!! How true!

I think you did absolutely right. It always surprises me that some bosses, even with overwhelming evidence, will not fire horrible employees. But now that you have your new boss, hopefully Clinton will see it is necessary to fire Bush. Sounds like he just likes to have control over projects so that no one can call him on his bull.

THANKS for the vote of confidence.. When I first got that email from Bush, I was really worried that I had said something wrong but after I read my email to him a couple times and asked another co worker for her opinion, I realized that I did nothing wrong. To be safe, I checked with Clinton (boss) and to my relief, I didn't do anything wrong. I would be THRILLED if Clinton would fire Bush but I DOUBT it. Clinton is VERY NICE and PATIENT so I know he will give him anothe chance..

Will keep u posted on the drama going on..

evnshawn · May 17, 2005

Originally Posted by catsknowme

I once had a boss who wasn't all that qualified, and she TORMENTED me & her other underlings. Fortunately, since that job was my part-time one, and therefore, dispensable (my real job was waiting tables at night), I could afford the luxury of "stirring the pot", which I did - the surprising result was that she complained to the business owner and he offered me a management position

; when I declined, he created a new division of customer service & assigned me to run it!

I used to be afraid to "stir the pot"; the older I get, though, the less intimidated I am at work. I found out when I started to state my opinion that doing so isn't as dangerous as I thought. And if it were (since I do it respectfully), I'd go find some other grownups to work with.

To the OP: sounds like so far you are doing the right thing. Just remember to CYA and remain above reproach at work, and things will work themselves out.

talon · May 18, 2005

Wow, sounds like you are working with my ex-husband!

Like my ex, this guys too will get what he deserves.

gailc · May 18, 2005

I'm also of the opinion that the older I get at work the more it takes to intimidate me.
Bush kind of sounds like my ex boss who in December saw the writing on the wall and left to pursue greener pastures elsewhere.

He sounds like to me a person who thinks big but doesn't really do anything. IMO a kiss-a**. We have a saying at work: "You screw up - you move up"!! Sad but true.
Does he try to do everything by the book in all circumstances or only when the higher-ups are overseeing what he is doing?? Did you document any of this stuff in your personell file??

I hate office "politics". Don't try to let him get to you. You are better than he is.

What's up with the co worker?!

pamela

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fwan

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katspixiedust

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loveysmummy

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