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Obligation to catsit for a friend??

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Hi all,
I need some advice on handling a friend's request.
A couple we know is moving back to Vancouver and they have asked me to catsit until they are settled into their new home..Likely this will take anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month.

I cannot say yes....I would like to..She is a great "niece" cat....very lovable, and affectionate..I just don't think it would be good for Lovey as I wouldn't really be able to introduce them and he would be freaked out with them being separated and I don't have a large place.

I try to be there for my friends but this friend wouldn't understand me turning her down..She would take it personally and think I was just being difficult.

Is there any way I can handle it tactfully?

Any suggestions appreciated..>I told her I would think about it..I was put on the spot but really don't think its a good idea.
post #2 of 16
As long as they are both up on their shots, I don't think it would be too bad to keep the other cat in a separate room. It would be nicer for her than a cage somewhere.

If you just truly don't want to do it, I think you need to be direct and let her know. Do you perhaps have a friend who could help her out?

I know I have many friends who dogsit for each other. But I have a dog-aggressive Akita, and cannot do the same. I just let them know, she seems friendly to you, but will fight with your dog. I think being straightforward is the best way to let people know!
post #3 of 16
That's a tough one indeed! If you are at all considering doing this, I would recommend trying to PM some of the TCS members who do foster care, since they usu. have cats of their own, and routinely handle similar situations and could give you advice, esp, regarding Lovey. It would certainly help out your friend's cat but only if it did not cause too much frustration on you. And you might gain valuable experience for use later on, say if you need to do an unanticipated foster situation. Please keep us posted! You may have to keep "activating" this post to the top of the list, since the games are so active, but I'll keep checking for updates. Take Care, Susan
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys...

Its not that I don't want to do it...Its just that I don't want to commit and then have Lovey stressed full out for the duration...It wouldn't make sense to introduce them and I think even her being in the other room would stress him out (he reacts badly even when there is cat smell on our hands from petting another cat).
And if I ever want to introduce a playmate to him down the road, I don't want to have to confuse ir stress him with this first...
Though I don't know for sure how he would react with her here, I would rather play on the safe side.

They don't really have anyone else here..(they are a high maintenance couple and aren't very likable to many, I am afraid..I hate to say that about friends but even I can't handle them for more than a couple hours..Their cat is much more laid back than either of them..which is quite funny I find)..

If I had to and they had no other possible way out (I think that they should just take her with them), then I might do it..But, ,I really don't want to.

ANd then I feel guilty for not doing it..ARgh...
post #5 of 16
What do you mean he reacts badly to the smell of other cats on your hands?
post #6 of 16
Thread Starter 
well, it was just the one time...
I posted about it in another thread once...
BF came home after petting landlord's cats and Lovey started backing away from him, hissing and growling.
post #7 of 16
Could you possibly go to their house, get the scent of the cat in question on your hands/clothing, telling your "friends" why, and then go home and see what reaction you get from your cat. If it is bad, you could just tell them so, and that you can't do it, sorry...etc. Good luck.
post #8 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy
well, it was just the one time...
I posted about it in another thread once...
BF came home after petting landlord's cats and Lovey started backing away from him, hissing and growling.
That is so weird! It reminds me of when ds was a baby. I had a neighbor who's 3 month old baby was jealous and would cry if she held another baby. I have never had a baby or kid act jealous, and it seemed bizarre to me. (Still does to me, but I saw it, it was real!) If your kitty is the same, I guess that would interfere with kitty sitting. Although it might also be a chance to see if he gets over it!

Anyone else on the board with a similar experience?
post #9 of 16
I like CarolCat's suggestion.

Though I wonder why they don't just take the cat with them. Surely it would be less stressful in the long run for the cat to have only a short separation while travelling, rather than a long separation, in a strange home, with a strange cat around, and then still have the upset of travel.

Perhaps I shouldn't even mention it, but my cynical side wonders if it isn't really "temporary digs during a move" they are looking for, but rather a new home for a cat they can't be bothered taking with them -- very convenient to get a couple of thousand kilometers away, and it never be convenient for the cat to join them. Maybe I'm just too suspicious.
post #10 of 16
What a hard sittuation for you I never thought about it if I were in your shoes!... so sorry I only can Just to listen to you and send you my best wishes to take the best decision!..
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47
IPerhaps I shouldn't even mention it, but my cynical side wonders if it isn't really "temporary digs during a move" they are looking for, but rather a new home for a cat they can't be bothered taking with them -- very convenient to get a couple of thousand kilometers away, and it never be convenient for the cat to join them. Maybe I'm just too suspicious.
That is what I thought about also when I read this post. I have been asked to take care of friend's pets in the past and a few weeks have always turned into a few months. I had to threaten someone with taking their dog to a shelter if they didn't come get her (wouldn't have done it but it was the only way to get them to pick her up). I have also had my BIL take care of my 2 cats during a move "for a month or 2" that turned into 9 months.

I guess the point is that when people move, they can't always count on things to go smoothly. If you cat will be stressed by another cat, that is as good an excuse as any on why not to take another cat in.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47
I like CarolCat's suggestion.

Though I wonder why they don't just take the cat with them. Surely it would be less stressful in the long run for the cat to have only a short separation while travelling, rather than a long separation, in a strange home, with a strange cat around, and then still have the upset of travel.

Perhaps I shouldn't even mention it, but my cynical side wonders if it isn't really "temporary digs during a move" they are looking for, but rather a new home for a cat they can't be bothered taking with them -- very convenient to get a couple of thousand kilometers away, and it never be convenient for the cat to join them. Maybe I'm just too suspicious.
I must admit I also was thinking along those lines, just didn't want to say it because it makes me sick when someone leaves their animals because they aren't "convenient" . I hope we are both wrong about this..........
post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolcat
I must admit I also was thinking along those lines, just didn't want to say it because it makes me sick when someone leaves their animals because they aren't "convenient" . I hope we are both wrong about this..........
Me, too.
post #14 of 16
Like Carolcat and Rapunzel47, the thought crossed my mind that they might be trying to pawn their cat off on you. It doesn't make any sense that they can't take their cat with them.
post #15 of 16
bwfore i read everyone elses response i was going to say about what if they arent going to ever pick the cat up.. and just ask you to keep it?
i would take the cat with me if i were moving immedietely not leave it to babysit..
Why dont you ask them about taking the cat with them on the spot?
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
ahhhhh..! You know, it didn't really cross my mind like that..But now I do feel a bit daft. The funny thing is that when they first moved here last year, they had a different cat in Vancouver (well, the guy in the relationship did)....and they asked me at first if I could take her for a couple of months while they settled in here.
I said yes (I didn't have Lovey yet)..but in the end, the cat ended up staying in the same house (with the new tenant who was also a friend of all of ours...she wanted their place when they moved and she agreed to take over the cat).
At the time, I thought that was rather selfless of them, as then the cat wouldn't experience a cross country upset, new apt, etc.

But now that I put things together..and they have this new cat of about 6 months, this may be the reason..Though, I didn't think this at first perhaps because they didn't get this cat as a kitten..she just ended up as a stray on their doorstep...

I for sure cannot bring myself to agree with this, now predicting the outcome...Even if I were to take her on, I wouldn't think she would be an exceptional companion for Lovey..She is a very laid back (sweet but very lazy) cat..If he were to have a playmate forever, he would need someone to keep up with him!

Thanks for all of your words here ppl...and for opening my eyes a bit to what could be a much larger responsibility than I thought.
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