- Joined
- Jan 11, 2005
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- Purraise
- 17
DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN!!!!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
Without missing a beat the child said, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was?
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked, "is there one commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
One little boy (the oldest of a large family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens
and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or, 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A
little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
Without missing a beat the child said, "Then you ask him."
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was?
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked, "is there one commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
One little boy (the oldest of a large family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens
and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or, 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A
little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
