First meeting of F.O.A. (Feline Owners Anonymous)

*Think meeting hall with metal chairs and a little podium*

Hi, My name is Ken, and I am feline(s) owner.

((holding 9 chips in my hand))

6 Years ago I was a dog person, I didn't even like kats.. I still can't spell it right.
5 Years ago we got our first Kat, and although I didn't like it, I was resigned to the fact that it and I would have to live in the same house.
As time went on, we got more, and I was unaware of the responsibilities of pet ownership. I didn't know that vaccines were all that important, well I knew, but had better things to do with my money. None of my kats were fixed.. I didn't think it was a big deal.

It wasn't until I started making friends with other feline owners who showed me the way.. if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have the knowledge I have today...

It's because of this I can stand before you today, and say..

I now own 11 kats (will probably have more by the end of the year) & I've been feline non-ignorant for 4.5 years...

Thanx

((and then everyone adjorns to drink warm kool-aid and eat stale cookies in the back of the hall))

*180*

*DISCLAIMER------- This is an attempt at my off the wall humour, not a slam/flame/pick on anyone*

:LOL::LOL::LOL: Ken, You're a riot! :LOL::LOL:
:LOL:

ummm....thanks for the kool-aid and stale cookies!

Peace out,
Cat

All of a sudden I have the urge to adopt 3 more kats, preferably ferals...what exactly was in that kool-aid? (and may I have some more please?)

Oh, and will you please ask Sandie what that green stuff was in those cookies...my kats love it! ( I think I like it too, will get back to you on that)

Ok I guess its time for me to "come out" too,
Hi, Im Rhea, and Im addicted to my cats paws..... I've had this problem ever since I got my first kitties, Boddington and Tetley. I just can't get enough of the furry little podgy fluffy paws - epecially the ones with tufts of fur between the toes.... its obsessive I know but its getting worse I need help..... its got to the stage where I have even been known to do the awful "kittymunch" otherwise known as the "kittysammich"...so you see how bad Im getting....

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...this is a cool thread!! Im glad you're all cat people here or you might actaully think I'm weird!! ha ha ha...Ok ok.. I am!) Mmmmm nice cookies.....kinda chewy!

Hellp - my name is Deb and I am an addict! Not to drinking or drugs (ok still trying to quit smoking)...........BUT.......

I have 7+ babies - (the + refers to Goldie and remaining brood.)

I am spending more and more time plotting and scheming to acquire more drugs...I mean kitties. I am wondering how much hubby would mind being locked in the basement or closet for a few years!

OMG, Bod, toe fuzz! I thought I was the only one to even notice it! Blackie has a bunch of it, but he's long haired. Sparky has a ton of it too but he's short haired so I can't figure out why there's so much between his toes! I love to wait until they're asleep and brush it really lightly so their toes curl up. It's so cute!

Ummm . . . {realizes she is speaking loudly and everyone is staring} Where did you say those cookies and punch were?

There there Sunlion, get it all out...its nothing to be ashamed of dear..... *give Sunlion sympathetic counsellor type stare and pats her back* here, have some nice punch....

Thank heaven! I'm not the only one! I love kitty paws! Leo has huge tufted paws and I hold them whenever he will let me. I love to nibble kitty ears, and rub fuzzy tummies, nuzzle little wet noses!AHHHHHHH!

I have a confession to make, since my 2 girls are ferals, they don't allow much nuzzling, with the exception of wanting to be petted, and crawling in my lap. Last night one of them followed me around the house, rubbing up against my legs, but she won't let me hold her for more than a few seconds if I pick her up. Although I must admit, even if they were the most docile of cats, I still wouldn't kiss thier feet (too unsanitary since they walk in thier own waste in the litter box) or stick thier heads in my mouth (too strange)

I hope you'll all let me continue to post here

I've always loved kitties, but I didn't used to be quite so goofy over them!

Hello, my name is Sabra and I'm addicted to squishy kitty ears. Squishy kitty ears are when their ears are cool and not warm, like when they've been outside in cool weather. I love to give their squishy ears a little squish, then pick them up and nibble their squishy little ears with my lips. I can imagine a squishy little ear between my lips now.

I'm also addicted to their little wet noses. I just have to kiss those little noses.

Oh, I just love having them put their little paws on my face.

Okay, I'm just plain addicted to kitties!!!!!

Hi,

My name is Donna and I'm an addict. I have six kitties that I absolutely adore. I would have more but know my limits. I too was once a dog person. Didn't like cats. When I got my first one, Mollie Rose in Vermont, I was definitely hooked. When I joined an animal rescue group it was down hill from there.

I love kissing their chins and bellies. Won't go for the feet or head (bleah!!).

And Ken, I have one question, what's with the stale cookies?? I heard you're married to Martha Stewart. What? She doesn't bake anymore? Next time, spike the Kool-Aid will ya? It needs a kick (so do I).

I'll sit down and shut up now.

Each and every one you will recieve your chip after all the sale cookies and warm kool aid have been eaten. As for the cookies, Sandie Stewart (Martha Taylor) didn't make them, it was the guy in the back row who owns the trained skunk and thinks it's a kat, but no one has the heart to tell him what it really is.... *Sigh

Ken

*181*

It's a skunk? Not a cat? Oh no! Hey...I'm a gal not a guy anyway...and quit complaining about my cookies, I saved them from last week's meeting of 40ish Women Who Refuse to Wear Glasses.

Hey....save me some kool-aid, I gotta have something to wash down these cookies!

I am on the floor with my feet up in the air wanting a belly rub - what does this mean? Am I just an addict or am I finally letting the inner cat/kitten show?

Oh, good news!

My kitties tell me there is no way any of us is a kat addict.

They say that a good sign of an addiction is that it interferes in a negative way with the rest of your life (causes health problems, takes too much money, impairs your ability to work, etc.) The problem is, we have lost sight of the fact that the purpose of human life is to take care of cats - even to worship them, but they're pretty sure that possibility passed with the ancient Egyptians. Anyway, what we are addicted to is work, family life, vacations, new clothes, etc. Some people are addicted to their jobs, but we need money to buy things for our cats, so work may be a necessary evil. Just try to remember that self esteem comes from pleasing your kat, not raises and promotions.

So the upshot is, kats are not addictive, they are a life necessity like air or water, and we have simply magnified the other stuff all out of proportion.

And of course my kats wouldn't lie to me . . .

My name is Michelle...and I'm a toe fur addict.

I took my first hit of toe fur when Alex was 6 months
old. Since then my dependancy has grown to humiliating
proportions. I cried after the vet clipped Alexander's
darling foot fuzz during a check-up. It takes a herculean
effort on my part to resist telling Alex's groomer to leave
his toes alone, but I do, for I must wean myself somehow eventually.

One day at a time...

KrazyKat said she needs another meeting! She must be having a craving! KK you CAN resist the kitty munching - you really can. Maybe Cat could be your sponsor - No that won't work - she is addicted too! Do we need to go to a dog lovers forum to get help here?