Don't let me keep her

eilcon · May 4, 2005

Hey Everybody,
By now, many of you have probably seen my posts and pics regarding Claire. I'm confident with all the prayers and good thoughts coming her way we'll find a good home for her. In the meantime, I'm trying not to get too attached. The longer I have her the harder it will be, so I'm asking all of you
(I've asked the same of my friends and family) to convince me not to keep her.

It's very important to me to be a responsible pet owner and give my cats the best care I can. So, for practical and financial purposes (especially if Pete does end up having heart problems), it's best if I don't keep Claire. Giving her attention and love isn't a problem, but realistically I know that isn't enough. I keep telling myself she deserves a better home than I can give her. I also have to consider my other cats. Katie, my oldest, is very adaptable and would be fine. As her sibling, no problem with Pete either. My middle "child" Gracie would not be happy. She does not like other cats (accept Katie) and is still upset about Pete coming to live with us.

Anyway, please, please, please talk me out of any thoughts I'm having of
keeping Claire. It's really in her best interest to go to another home.

Thanks!

pamela · May 4, 2005

eilcon-

I understand your feelings about this..

One thing I found that helped me (might help you?) while I was fostering various cats was to keep telling myself that 'this cat' was only visiting and that I am tending to the cat until a GREAT home is found. That really helped me when I delivered the cats to their new homes- knowing that they'd be in good hands..

You will miss her but it will get easier as time passes.

I will be interested to see what other tips others might have regarding this.

Good luck!

misstorri · May 4, 2005

This is why I'll never be able to foster cats! Just have faith that the right family will come along for Claire. She'll make a wonderful addition to someones family thanks to you!

talon · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by misstorri

This is why I'll never be able to foster cats!

I just want them all!

eilcon · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by misstorri

This is why I'll never be able to foster cats! Just have faith that the right family will come along for Claire. She'll make a wonderful addition to someones family thanks to you!

Thanks for your support.

This is my first (and last) time fostering. Otherwise, I'd wrestle with keeping them all!

flisssweetpea · May 4, 2005

You're doing a great job with Claire. I think it's wonderful that you can provide her with love and attention until a furrever home is found. Just think what a great job you're doing making it so much easier for her to adapt to her new family.

talon · May 4, 2005

Foster is great if you can do it, I applaud those of you that can.... I would have a housefull if I could... oh wait, I do! 4 cats and 11 birds - various birds are "hand-me downs" along with 2 of the kitties.

pamela · May 4, 2005

Actually, fostering is not as HARD as you'd think. I used to think the same- that I couldn't let go of any cats but surprisedly... I have had fostered over 10 cats and only kept 2 out of all 10 so that's pretty good!

It helps me to think that I am just a "stopover" for these cats until they get a good home and I tell myself that they will do better in other homes (where they'll get more attention, etc-that's what I keep telling myself.. heheheh).

It really depends on each cat that is being fostered- some I didn't get attached too much to, 2 that didn't get along with my cats (one kept attacking poor Zebra and later on Zebra started attacking another foster cat) so in those cases, it was easy to let go of these cats to permanent/other foster homes. It also helps to think of my 5 cats- they are priority #1 to me so I often would tell myself that my 5 cats needs my attention and doesn't need more permanent cats to compete for my attention.

With fostering- I can take breaks in between and focus on my 5 cats.

I had a HARD time the first time I fostered cats- when I dropped them (Pepper's mom and one of her siblings) off with the rescue organization to be taken to their permanent homes, I BAWLED all the way home and felt HORRIBLE for a few days. However, with time it became easier and I kept getting emails with updates on those cats so it really helped.

So many rescue organizations are screaming for foster homes so keep that in mind.

Fostering can be heart rending BUT can be so REWARDING! Just think- saving these cats lives and finding them better homes. What a great reward huh?

Something to think about eh?

I would continue to foster but due to financial and space constraints, I have to put that on hold for a while.

sashacat421 · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by flisssweetpea

You're doing a great job with Claire. I think it's wonderful that you can provide her with love and attention until a furrever home is found. Just think what a great job you're doing making it so much easier for her to adapt to her new family.

Yeah that. AND -- I know you feel you think she deserves a better home. But sometimes cats make up their minds for us. Who knows? Maybe she'll get along with everyone for whatever unexplainable reason. Maybe her home is there with you -- if she's strong, healthy.....I know I'm supposed to convince you not to keep her, but let nature take its course. I am such a believer in that. She will be where she's supposed to be. I admire you more than you know.

-E.

eilcon · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by sashacat421

Yeah that. AND -- I know you feel you think she deserves a better home. But sometimes cats make up their minds for us. Who knows? Maybe she'll get along with everyone for whatever unexplainable reason. Maybe her home is there with you -- if she's strong, healthy.....I know I'm supposed to convince you not to keep her, but let nature take its course. I am such a believer in that. She will be where she's supposed to be. I admire you more than you know.

-E.

Wow. Thanks, I needed to hear this and all the other comments.
If, and that's a big IF, she does end up staying with me, I'll consider myself blessed to have her, just like with my three.

pamela · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by sashacat421

Yeah that. AND -- I know you feel you think she deserves a better home. But sometimes cats make up their minds for us. Who knows? Maybe she'll get along with everyone for whatever unexplainable reason. Maybe her home is there with you -- if she's strong, healthy.....I know I'm supposed to convince you not to keep her, but let nature take its course. I am such a believer in that. She will be where she's supposed to be. I admire you more than you know.

-E.

Sashacat421 has made a good point.

That's what happened with Tango who I originally fostered! When I tried to take him to adoption shows, he'd turn into Hyde and Jenylk (sp?) but at home, he would be a SWEETHEART. He also developed a medical problem so I ended up keeping him because I could tell he wouldn't be happy in any other homes.

eilcon · May 4, 2005

You guys aren't making this any easier!

pamela · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by eilcon

You guys aren't making this any easier!

Smile. Sorry about that. The important thing is that you try your best and things will work out somehow...

eilcon · May 4, 2005

Pamela said:
Smile. Sorry about that. The important thing is that you try your best and things will work out somehow...

[/QUOTE

That's okay. Seriously, I appreciate all the suggestions and support more than you know. It helps to know there are people out there that understand. Most of my friends and family thought I was crazy to take on a third cat.

talon · May 4, 2005

Originally Posted by eilcon

You guys aren't making this any easier!

LOL! With this group you can just about always find someone with more cats than you.

Besides - 4 is a great number.

beckiboo · May 4, 2005

The longer you keep them, the harder it is to say good-bye. But I think of it as selfishness. Why should I hoard all this kitty love myself? I know people think it is crazy to have "too many" cats, but each one is unique and loveable. But that doesn't mean each one is meant to stay with you forever.

Listen to your heart. It isn't up to your friends or family. If you can care for the cats, have as many as you want. But if you can pass this one on to someone else, there will be a spot at your house if another kitty needs it. Is she meant to stay with you? Or is she just the one to complete someone else's family?

Good luck, and enjoy Claire for however long or short she is there. Whether she is a foster or a keeper, the care you are giving her now is just what she needs. Thanks!

jennyr · May 4, 2005

What is meant to be will be. I didn't mean to keep Persil, but she would probably be dead now if I hadn't. But if you find a wonderful home for Claire, that will be fate too. The important thing is htat wherever she is from now on she will be loved and cared for.

eilcon · May 5, 2005

Thanks for the support and encouragement you guys. Reading your posts brought tears to my eyes this morning. (Sorry, I tend to get kind of emotional over cat stuff!)

As I was playing with Claire last night and again this morning, I couldn't help but think that whoever ends up with this sweet little girl is going to extremely lucky.

Will keep you posted. Thanks again!

katieb · May 11, 2005

Just wanted to let you know, you are not in this boat alone!! I have been fostering a little kitty for around 2 months now and not only has she grown up a considerable amount, but she has also really grown on me. I would keep her, no questions asked, if the apartment I'm moving in to in 2 weeks didn't ask for $20/mo per pet (on top of a $300 pet deposit). It's really hard, but I keep telling her (and myself) how neat it will be if her forever home is a house with lots of windows (vs. my 2 window apartment). Maybe having a talk like that with your kitty will make it a bit easier? Good luck!

Don't let me keep her

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