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Stolen body parts (not scary)

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I got this email and its a riot. Just wanted to share.

You have probably read the scare-mail about the
> person whose kidneys
> were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on.
> While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one
> is not. It's
> happening every day:
> My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few
> years ago.
> It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body
> and woke up with
> someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture
> of cooked oatmeal.
> Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that
> had been mine for
> years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to
> mine?
> I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
> Finally, hurt
> and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life
> in jeans and Sheer
> Energy pantyhose.
> Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves
> struck again. My
> butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because
> they took pains
> to match my new rear end (although badly attached at
> least three inches
> lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me
> with earlier. Now, my
> rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic,
> I prayed thatlong
> skirts would stay in fashion.
> It was two years ago when I realized my arms had
> been switched.
> One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched
> horrified but fascinated
> as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with
> the motion of the
> hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body
> was being replaced
> one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.
> Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is
> supposed to creep
> up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was
> being attacked
> repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave
> up my T-shirts.
> What could they do to me next? My poor neck
> disappeared more quickly than
> the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why
> I decided to tell my
> story. I can't take on the medical profession by
> myself.
> Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee.
> That really isn't
> plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW
> where they are getting
> those replacement parts, don't you? The next time
> you suspect someone has
> had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted
> from you?
> I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope
> that Cindy Crawford paid
> a really good price for them!
> This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in
> every town every night.
> P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone
> had stolen my breasts.
> I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped
> out of bed, I was
> relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my
> armpits as I slept.
> Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
post #2 of 12
This is the cutest thing!!!!!
post #3 of 12

I hear ya!!!
post #4 of 12
I can relate.
post #5 of 12
I was wondering how she look like after all that robbery.
post #6 of 12
post #7 of 12
Oh Lord, can I identify with that!
post #8 of 12
Ah, the sadness of gravity and aging.
post #9 of 12
I absolutely don't see the humor in that! It is WAY TOO TRUE! I was young and skinny once. I remember when I was 21, having recently given birth to my first born (Jessica). I had a pair of size 12 jeans that I wore because I was SO FAT! I actually wondered how people could let themselves go to the point that they were so large they wore a size 12. (My original size was 8-10.) Now my 16's are getting tight, and I totally understand how people get large.

Oh, and I dream of the day I am skinny enough to fit into size 12 jeans. I still have the pair I wore the night I met my current dh! He sticks with me through thick and thicker (LOL), and never complains about my size. He is very supportive, and helps my self-esteem.
post #10 of 12
ROFL!!! THAT is a riot!! Thanks for sharing!
post #11 of 12
I can identify with that!
post #12 of 12
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