In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods
============
On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
=============
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The
shoplifter special)
=============
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)
================
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
====================
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
================
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . . helloooooo!)
===============
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
=================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
==============
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
==============
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
================
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
===============
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)
=============
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
==============
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
=============
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
=============
stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods
============
On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
=============
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The
shoplifter special)
=============
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)
================
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
====================
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
================
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . . helloooooo!)
===============
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
=================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
==============
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
==============
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
================
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
===============
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)
=============
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
==============
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
=============
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
=============
